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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Trouble Brewing, Part 7

, | VT, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have iced tea?”

Me: “Um, yes, we have lots of kinds of iced tea. Are you looking for a single-serving bottle or for a big bottle?”

Customer: “What? No, I just want iced tea.”

Me: “Um, okay, sure. There are a lot of coolers around the store that hold chilled drinks. You can find some at the other end of this aisle here, or at the other end of this one here, facing the meat and seafood. Or there are big bottles held at room temperature in the juice aisle, or—”

Customer: “No, no. What? I just want some iced tea! Some iced tea, just like you have the iced coffee!” *he gestures to some large self-service carafes which hold strong coffee to be poured over cups of ice*

Me: “Oh, you mean you want it to be brewed in-house? I’m sorry; we don’t sell it that way here.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want it brewed in-house. What?”

Me: “Okay, so you want a bottle of iced tea?”

Customer: “No! I just want to buy a cup of iced tea!”

Me: “Uh, okay… I’m sorry, I’m really trying to understand you, but I’m just not sure what you’re asking for. Sometimes a store sells iced tea in bottles, and they’re packaged somewhere else and then we just sell them. Sometimes a store sells iced tea that they’ve brewed themselves on the premises. We only sell it in bottles that come from outside companies. There’s a cafe down the block that might sell it homemade, if that’s what you want. I can give you direc—”

Customer: “I just find it incredible that you really don’t sell just plain iced tea.”

Me: “Sir, I didn’t say that. We have plenty of iced tea.”

Customer: “I want you to stop looking at me like I’m insane for trying to get some plain iced tea!”

Me: “I’m sorry! I’m just trying to figure out how else a store could possibly sell iced tea. You don’t want it brewed elsewhere and bottled and shipped here, and you don’t want it to be brewed here in the store—”

(At this point my customer turned around and walked away, still looking completely pissed off.)

Related:
Trouble Brewing, Part 6
Trouble Brewing, Part 5
Trouble Brewing, Part 4

I Spat On Your Spatula

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a student employee working at the cafeteria of my community college that I attend. I am at our fusion station serving various forms of pasta. I keep a fairly clean operation and periodically change my cooking implements as well as clean my station. After dealing with one picky customer, I run through my cleaning routine save for one skillet and spatula I have only just begun using for the previous customer. A female student walks up to the station shortly after I finish cleaning the counters.)

Me: “Hi there, how are you doing today?”

Customer: “Good. What is this?”

(This alone amused me as it was obvious what I was serving but multiple others asked me this already today so I dismissed it.)

Me: “It is a pasta bar today. Would you like some?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(She proceeds to tell me her selections but suddenly stops short when I go to use the aforementioned tools.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Would you please use a different pan? I don’t want you to make my food in an infected pan.”

(This annoys me slightly but not enough for her to see. I get a new skillet out and move her meal into it and grab the spatula.)

Customer: “Uh, I’m sorry but could you please use another spatula. I don’t want that one used in my food.”

(By this time the lunch rush has begun and other customers have started to line up behind her. I run to the back to get a new spatula, come back, and set it on the counter so I can light the burner.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, is this what you want?

Customer: “Yes, that’ll be great…”

Me: “Is there still a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “You know what I think I’m going to pass.”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “You can’t put a clean spatula on the counter; it’ll get germs all over it. You need to have napkins or plates stacked together to put it on so it doesn’t get infected. I’m sorry but I can’t… have a nice day.”

(The customer speeds off without another word. I’m standing there with her food half made when another female student, who had witnessed most of this, approaches me laughing.)

Me: “Okay, can someone tell me what just happened?”

Customer #2: “It’s okay; don’t get frazzled. I know that girl. Sorry about that.”

Me: “Not a problem. What can I do for you today?”

Customer #2: “You know what? I’ll just have what she was going to have.”

Our Way Or Go Away

| Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(Our meals always comes with rice or noodles and is the first step in the plating process.)

Customer: “Okay! I’d like your orange chicken.”

Employee: “Great! Would you like rice or noodles to start?”

Customer: “I like to start with the orange chicken.”

Employee: “Sure! But our plates start with rice or noodles.”

Customer: *smirks, backs away, puts away his tray* “Well then, if you like it YOUR way.” *mumbles something and walks away; complains to his wife how we like it OUR way*