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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Allergic To Payback

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(After a customer is hospitalized due to a miscommunication about their allergies, my manager changes store policy so that we aren’t allowed to serve anyone anything if they say they are allergic to components. Since bratty customers often claim allergy, this has had many hilarious results, my favorite being a customer who usually makes us remake her order three or four times because she’s allergic to this or that.)

Customer: “I’ll have a meatball sub, no onion. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “The meatballs have onion in them. What else can I get you?”

Customer: “The meatballs only have a little; it’s fine.”

Me: “You have informed me you have an onion allergy. I cannot serve you any products containing onion.”

Customer: *huffs* “Fine, I’ll have the chicken sub!”

Me: “Ma’am, last week you made me remake your food because of a tomato allergy. I cannot serve you any product with tomato.”

Customer: “Yes, you can! I get them all the time.”

Me: “Store policy has changed. I cannot serve any customer any food that may have been contaminated with anything they label as an allergen.”

Customer: “Fine, I was lying. Give me my sub.”

Me: “As you have given me conflicting information I must err on the side of caution. I cannot serve you tomato, onion, wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs-”

Customer: “WHAT! I never said I was allergic to that stuff:”

Me: “Ma’am, whenever you have us remake food we must enter the reason in the register. And all your credit card purchases are saved in the system. Should we look up your purchases?”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

(I run in back and tell him what’s going on. He gets an evil look on his face.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am, I understand you’re confused about our new store policy?”

Customer: “Your employee here refuses to make me food even though I told her I am not allergic!”

Manager: “So you aren’t allergic to onions or tomatoes or wheat?”

Customer: “No, I am not.”

Manager: “Ma’am, you just admitted to lying about allergies. So you can either pay for every sandwich you’ve ever had us remake, or get out.”

Customer: *runs out of the store*

The Fruit Salad Doesn’t Fall Very Far From The Tree

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m serving a mother and her young son.)

Me: *to son* “What salads would you like on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, he won’t eat salads. I don’t know why!”

Me: “That’s okay. Would you like any salads on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, no, I don’t eat salad.”

Me: “…”

Mexi-can’t Make Them Understand

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work in a Mexican restaurant.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Where are our burritos?”

Me: “I’ll just check with our kitchen. I’ll be back in a moment!”

(I check with the kitchen and there is no order for that table so I check our computers and no order has been put through; my manager tells me that they haven’t ordered because they have only just sat down.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but no order has been placed for this table. If you remember what kind of burritos you ordered, I can place the order now.”

Customer: “We just want the burritos.”

Me: “Yes, well, we have five different burritos.” *points to menu, which lists our burritos and has a picture of one*

Customer: “No, no, the burrito in the BOWL.”

Me: “A burrito in a bowl?”

(Another waitress walks out with the complimentary bowls of corn chips and salsa, and places them on the table.)

Customer: “Finally! See, this is a burrito.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I thought you said BURrito, not DORito.”

Customer: “No, this is a BURrito.”