Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working the counter at a sandwich shop when I get this exchange happens…)

Customer: “Can I get a BLT without the bacon?”

(When customers ask to remove certain items from their sandwiches, the sandwich price still remains the same. I decide to try to help the customer save some money…)

Me: “If you just want a lettuce and tomato sandwich you can select the build your own option and save some money if you’d like!”

Customer: “Why? I’m not poor! This shirt is cashmere!”

Me: “Oh, no, I never meant to imply that—”

Customer: “And who orders a plain lettuce and tomato sandwich? That’s poor people food! I ordered a BLT!”

Me: “…Without bacon?”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Me: “Will that be all?”

Related:

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 12
From NotAlwaysRomantic
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 10

Where Else Would You Egg-spect Them To Come From?

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’m an ER nurse and I am talking to one of my patients about my farm back home.)

Me: “Yeah, I have chickens and they’re about to—”

Patient: “What do you have chickens for?”

Me: “They lay fresh eggs that my family and I can eat.”

Patient: “You eat the eggs out of a chicken’s butt!?”

Me: “Uh… where do you think eggs come from?”

Patient: “I buy mine from the store. They’re store eggs!”

Me: “Those come out of a chicken’s butt, too.”

Patient: “But… but you said the ones you have are brown. The ones I get are white.”

Me: “Yeah… some chickens lay white eggs and other lay brown. That’s not how—”

Patient: “I guess I’m just never having eggs again… like, ever. That’s disgusting.”

Ultimately Wrong

| Hopkins, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(This is for the great waiter who was smiling and polite through this whole exchange.)

My Mom: “Oh, I know exactly what I’d like!” *points in menu at full description of sandwich, including picture* “The veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Oh, the ultimate veggie, great! Anything else?”

My Mom: “No, that will be perfect. I’ve had it before!”

(Time passes, food arrives.)

My Mom: “Oh, no, no. This isn’t what I wanted! I ordered the ultimate veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Ye-es. What seems to be the problem?”

My Mom: “Last time it was different. I wanted different bread. And is there mayo? No mayo. And no onions. I hate onions!”

Me: *head in hands*

Server: “No problem. I will be right out with that.”

Chose The Wrong Place To Chill

| UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(We run a chilli farm, and have recently opened a retail store in a nearby city. Every single product in our store contains chillies, sauces, jams, marmalades, chocolate bars, even chilli fudge. On our first day open a lady comes in:)

Lady: “Do you have a sauce with blackcurrants in it?”

Me: “Unfortunately we don’t, but we do have a lot of blackcurrant bushes growing on the farm. We could make you a batch of blackcurrant chilli sauce.”

(A week later the lady visits the store again and is very excited when we tell her we now have a blackcurrant sauce, until she looks at the bottle and says:)

Lady: “Oh! It has chillies in it. I don’t like chillies.”

Serving Them Ain’t No Picnic

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(Eight or so elderly women wander in to the restaurant and ask to look at the menu, during our quiet time between lunch and dinner. I glance at the manager and he nods to seat them. One woman takes it upon herself to be the spokesperson.)

Me: “Okay, ladies, we are only serving coffee and cake this afternoon as the kitchen has closed until dinner. Is that okay?”

Customer: “That is fine, dear. We are only after a coffee and a chat.”

Me: “No problem. I will arrange a table for you all and be back with the menus.”

(After ten minutes or so, I have a table and they have all sat down. As I start round the table I notice that only one or two are ordering anything. I ask if that is all they all nod and I off to grab their drinks. When I get back I notice that the women have taken packets of crackers and dips and cheese and all sorts of things out of their bags and have set them up on the table like a picnic!)

Me: “Um, excuse me, ladies, but you are not allowed to bring your own food into the restaurant. I will have to ask you to put that all away.”

Customer: “Pardon me; what did you say?”

Me: “You can’t bring food into a restaurant. You will have to put that away until you leave.”

Customer: *getting very haughty* “Well, I have never been treated so rudely! We are paying customers and if we want to sit and chat and have a nibble that is our right!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is your right if you were at a park or your home, but as we are a restaurant that makes money by supplying food and drink to people, you are being rude.”

(At this she asked for the manager. Lucky he had seen the whole thing, came to the table, and promptly requested the same as myself, at which the ladies packed up their food, stood up, and left complaining the whole time about how rude we were and how they will never be back. All I could say was “What a pity” with a big fake smile on my face.)

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