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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

The Vegetarian Contrarian

| TN, USA | Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(I work as a concierge at a very upscale hotel. Guests from out of town usually trust my word completely, but every now and again, a guest tries to best me with their knowledge from online reviews.)

Guest: “Hi, I have a list of four Cajun restaurants in the city, and I’d like to run them by you.”

Me: “Of course, go right ahead!”

(The guest then names a popular vegetarian-friendly restaurant with one nearby location.)

Guest: “But I saw on the website that one location only had a vegetarian menu.”

Me: “That is one of my favorite places for cajun, and their menu is vegetar—”

Guest: “And I don’t want vegetarian. My husband needs to try real Cajun!”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I understand. Their menu is vegetarian-friendly, but they still have plenty of meat options.”

Guest: “I don’t want the location that’s vegetarian, and I saw on the website that one of them is vegetarian only.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, while both locations are vegetarian-friendly, they will still have the meat options for you. There is a location just one block away on [Street] that—”

Guest: *In a condescending, pointed tone* “I don’t mean to contradict you, but I saw on the website that-” *location one block away* “-is the one that is vegetarian only.”

Me: *folding my hands politely in front of me* “I had chicken there two weeks ago.”

Guest: “…”

Guest’s Husband: “So how do we get to that one now?”

A High Degree Of Craziness

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Me: “And here’s your latte, sir!”

Customer: “Is it extra hot?”

Me: “Yes, I made sure to steam the milk to an extra hot temperature.”

Customer: “Let me check.” *takes the temperature with a baby thermometer from his jacket pocket*

Customer: “This isn’t 200 degrees. I want to a refund.”

Me: “Well, okay… Could I make you another instead? We could make it 180 degrees but past that the milk will burn.”

Customer: “No. How hard can it be to make a latte extra hot? You just push a button! I want my money back.”

Me: “Well… let me get my manager.”

Customer: “Good.”

(He leaves with the latte for free. A few days later he comes back and the same thing happens. Now he comes in once a month even though his latte is never right.)

Trouble Brewing, Part 7

, | VT, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have iced tea?”

Me: “Um, yes, we have lots of kinds of iced tea. Are you looking for a single-serving bottle or for a big bottle?”

Customer: “What? No, I just want iced tea.”

Me: “Um, okay, sure. There are a lot of coolers around the store that hold chilled drinks. You can find some at the other end of this aisle here, or at the other end of this one here, facing the meat and seafood. Or there are big bottles held at room temperature in the juice aisle, or—”

Customer: “No, no. What? I just want some iced tea! Some iced tea, just like you have the iced coffee!” *he gestures to some large self-service carafes which hold strong coffee to be poured over cups of ice*

Me: “Oh, you mean you want it to be brewed in-house? I’m sorry; we don’t sell it that way here.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want it brewed in-house. What?”

Me: “Okay, so you want a bottle of iced tea?”

Customer: “No! I just want to buy a cup of iced tea!”

Me: “Uh, okay… I’m sorry, I’m really trying to understand you, but I’m just not sure what you’re asking for. Sometimes a store sells iced tea in bottles, and they’re packaged somewhere else and then we just sell them. Sometimes a store sells iced tea that they’ve brewed themselves on the premises. We only sell it in bottles that come from outside companies. There’s a cafe down the block that might sell it homemade, if that’s what you want. I can give you direc—”

Customer: “I just find it incredible that you really don’t sell just plain iced tea.”

Me: “Sir, I didn’t say that. We have plenty of iced tea.”

Customer: “I want you to stop looking at me like I’m insane for trying to get some plain iced tea!”

Me: “I’m sorry! I’m just trying to figure out how else a store could possibly sell iced tea. You don’t want it brewed elsewhere and bottled and shipped here, and you don’t want it to be brewed here in the store—”

(At this point my customer turned around and walked away, still looking completely pissed off.)

Related:
Trouble Brewing, Part 6
Trouble Brewing, Part 5
Trouble Brewing, Part 4