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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Don’t Ask Where The Chicken Came From

| SC, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work at a new Chinese restaurant in a small town; a customer is looking over a menu.)

Customer: “What’s human chicken?”

(Cue laughter:)

Customer: “Oh! Hunan chicken! I mean Hunan chicken!”

Something Fishy About That Meat

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A couple sit down at a table in my section:)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Our dinner feature is our Friday night fish fry. Tonight we have cod.”

Man: “Your special, what exactly is that?”

Me: “Our cod is four flaky fillets that comes with fries and coleslaw, but if you would like you can exchange that for any two sides.”

Man: “Where is that listed on the menu?”

Me: “Right here, sir.” *I point to the menu, where it says “Friday Fish Fry” in large letters and the man starts looking over where I had showed him*

Woman: “I’ll have the roast beef dinner.”

Man: *to his wife* “Did you get fish?”

Woman: “No, I got the beef.”

Man: *to me* “That beef, is it meat?”

Me: “Uhm, yes.”

Man: “Are you sure it’s meat, not fish?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “Why don’t you have fish?”

Me: “We do. The cod I told you about right here is fish.”

Man: “Are you sure that it is fish and not meat?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “All right. I’ll have that, as long as it’s not meat.”

These Donuts Are A Little On The Insecty-Side

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(My coworker and I work in the bakery section of a well known retail chain. During certain times of the year fruit flies are a problem in our department. It is store policy for the bakery to remove the self-serve donuts from the case if the fruit flies are too numerous. This exchange happens to my co-worker while I’m on break.)

Customer: *indignant* “There’s a whole bunch of fruit flies in here.”

Coworker: *checks the case* “You’re right. Sorry about that, sir.” *leaves to get cart to load trays on. comes back. starts loading trays*

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Coworker: “Getting rid of the donuts. We’re supposed to pull the donuts when there’s too many fruit flies.”

Customer: “Can’t you spray some poison in there or something? I really want one!”