Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Both Brains Were Fried

| Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(In this case, both the cashier AND I were idiots. I’m a product demonstrator buying supplies for my next demo: 12 bags of French fries. I get to my car and realize the cashier only charged me for 10. So I go back in and explain the problem.)

Cashier: Thank you so much! I’d have been in so much trouble.”

Me: *feeling sheepish, I brought the receipt but NOT the un-scanned bags back in* “Should I go get them to scan again?”

Cashier: “Nah, just grab two more from the cooler. I’ll scan those and charge you for them.”

(I run and get them. I get back and she’s explaining to the entire line what a tool she is and how grateful she is to me for my honesty. As such, she’s working distracted and on autopilot… It’s 10 pm and I’ve had a long day myself, so I’m not precisely paying attention either.)

Cashier: *scans bags* “Okay, that’ll be $4.99.”

(She automatically bags them and hands me the bag. I automatically take them, say thank you, and leave.)

Me: *10 minutes later at home, un-bagging groceries into my freezer* “Oh, lord! Now I’ve paid for 12 and have 14!”

Reached Your Tea Total, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “I want a full-leaf brewed tea.”

Me: “Okay, which one?”

Customer: “The full leaf one.”

Me: “We have a few different kinds, sir. We have mint, chai, English breakfast, zen, Earl Grey, China green tips, and passion tea. Which one did you want?”

Customer: “Which one is closest to mint?”

Me: “The mint.”

Customer: “No, besides that one.”

Me: “…The zen? I guess?”

Customer: “What does that one taste like?”

Me: “…Mint.”

Customer: “How much coffee is in it?”

Related:
Reached Your Tea Total

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

| AB, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A lady orders a blueberry pineapple margarita and I bring it out. A little while later I notice her giving it to her husband and not drinking it.)

Me: “Is everything okay with the margarita?”

Lady: “Oh, yes. I am just allergic to pineapples but wanted to try it.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Lady: “Oh yeah, it will just turn my face red.” *laughs* “It is already.”

(Sure enough her face developed a rash. She ordered and paid for a drink she knew she was allergic to!)

Related
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
Allergic To Common Sense

Not A Grain Of Sense

| DE, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(An obviously drunk customer wanders into my fragrance shop in the local farmers’ market.)

Customer: “Do you sell grain alcohol in here?”

Me: “No, sir, but there is a liquor store and a pharmacy across the street.”

Customer: “Does anyone sell grain alcohol in here?”

Me: “No, sir. It is only legal to sell that product in drugstores or liquor stores in this state.”

(I’m trying hard to convince myself that the man needs it for his child’s science experiment, or to fuel a bottle rocket. He is peering woozily at my shelves full of fragrances for men and women.)

Customer: “Can you drink any of this stuff?”

Having A Whine About The Wine

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Food & Drink, Time

(I work at the fish counter in a well-known supermarket chain. This exchange takes place just before nine am on a Saturday, one hour after opening. A well-dressed woman walks up.)

Me: *smiling* “Hi, there, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I’d like four of the salmon fillets in two oven bags with lemon butter.”

Me: “No problem.” *printing the barcode labels to stick to the bags* “I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but how much longer will you be in the store for?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “It’s just that I notice you have milk, meats, and various chilled items, as well as your fish.”

Customer: *looking suspicious* “Does that matter?”

Me: “You also have several bottles of wine in your trolley.”

Customer: “I don’t see the problem here.”

Me: “Alcohol can only be sold during licensing hours, which here is 10 ’til 10. You’d have to be in-store for at least another hour before you can buy any.”

(By this point I have bagged the salmon, heat-sealed it and am now sticking on the labels.)

Customer: “But I need this wine today! I’m having friends round for dinner; that’s why I need the salmon!”

Me: “It’s no problem. You could leave the wines here at the counter. The aisle’s just there and we’re not busy yet, so I can put them back, or I can hold them here at the counter for you until you come to get them after 10.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that! I’m having friends round and I need to cook!”

Me: “Well, nobody can sell alcohol before 10, so that’s really your only option, unless come back later and redo your whole shop, but that’s just inconvenient for everyone.”

(I hand her the bags of salmon, which she throws in the trolley.)

Customer: “Never mind, then.”

(She then flounced off, leaving the trolley parked in front of the counter, full of shopping. I called after her; she ignored me and left the store. I had to call colleagues from various other departments to take the trolley back, root through it, and take the items from their departments back to the shelves and fridges/freezers. I just cut open the salmon bags and put the fillets back on display.  The kicker, though? I came back from my hour lunch break a little after one, and she was having a go at the colleague covering me for “not keeping all her shopping aside for her, ‘like that stupid little kid promised.’” I took a great deal of pleasure informing her she’d have to redo the lot.)