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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Drink Up And Fall Down

| QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m picking up my boyfriend from the pub as he has had way too much to drink. I’m friends with the bartender working, and this night she has had to deal with a lot of drunk and unruly customers and is clearly over it. We’re chatting when we see a drunk man trip up the entry stairs, landing flat on his face. He gets back up and looks around to see if anyone saw.)

Bartender: *pointing at the man, deadpan* “No.”

(The man hung his head sadly, turned around, and actually left!)

A Hot Slice Of Kindness

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m delivering a pizza. An elderly woman answers the door. She opens the door part way, and it catches on one of her crutches. She struggles a little and manages to maneuver herself to get the door open. I see a cast on one ankle.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. I broke my ankle yesterday, and I’m still learning how to get around on these things.”

(She doesn’t appear to be in pain, or anything. Just obviously unfamiliar with the crutches.)

Me: “Aww, that’s too bad. Hopefully a pizza will help. That’ll be [price].”

(She starts fumbling with her purse while trying to balance on the crutches. Pretty quickly she is able to get to her cash. I give her the change. At this point, I can see her trying to figure out how she’s going to carry the pizza with her crutches.)

Me: “Would you like me to bring the pizza in for you?”

Customer: *immediate look of relief* “Could you just put it right here on the coffee table for me?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “That’s very nice of you.”

(The table is just a few steps inside the house. I set the pizza down and turn to go.)

Customer: “Hold on a moment. Please, let me give you a tip.”

(She reaches into her change purse and pulls out a single quarter and hands it to me. I can tell that she doesn’t tip very often, and that she sincerely thinks that the tip she’s giving me is a pretty big deal.)

Me: “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

(I could tell that she meant well, so I smiled and accepted the token in the spirit that she intended.)

What The Fructose

| Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working front of house at a family Italian restaurant. A customer is ordering.)

Customer: *after placing order* “…also, I’m fructose intolerant so I’m allergic to onion, garlic, and tomatoes and I am gluten intolerant as well.”

(I tell this to the chef and he laughs.)

Chef: “Then what the f*** is she doing in an Italian restaurant!?”

(He then makes her a super basic salad that’s essentially lettuce with balsamic vinegar and some carrot.)