Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Me No Speak Americano

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work graveyards at a very busy location of a popular fast food restaurant in Canada. Our store is located quite close to a Korean shopping area, so we get a lot of Asian customers. Around two am an older, middle-aged Asian woman enters the lobby and comes up to me.)

Me: “Hi there, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “No English!” *gestures that she only knows some English*

Me: “All right, ma’am.”

Customer:“Ice cream!”

Me: “Which one would you like? We have—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Maple!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have maple ice cream.” *gestures that we don’t have any”

Customer: “Ice cream! Maple!”

Me: “Ma’am, we do not have maple ice cream. We do have a maple latte and a maple pie.”

Customer: *gestures me to take the next order*

Me: *takes the order and turns back to the woman*

Customer: “Ice cream!”

(Due to her lack of English understanding, I wonder if she wants our current promotional ice cream, which doesn’t contain maple. So I gesture to the picture on the menu.)

Me: “Is this maybe what you wanted?”

Customer: “No, No! Oreo!”

Me: “All right, ma’am.” *turns around and grabs our two cup sizes* “Which size?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Ma’am, which size?”

Customer: *gestures to larger size* “Two!”

Me: “Is that everything?”

Customer: *nods*

Me: “All right, your total comes to $[total].”

(Customer pulls out a card, and I press the corresponding button on my POS. She inserts her card then continues to look at the menu.)

Customer: *points behind me to our muffin display* “Muffin!”

Me: *walks over to display and points at the muffin I assume she was pointing at* “This one?”

Customer: “Blue! Blue!”

Me: “A blueberry muffin? Anything else?”

Customer: “Two!”

(Because she hadn’t finished payment, I cancel it and enter in the two muffins, while giving her the new total. By the time I am done, she has returned her card back into her wallet.)

Me: “Ma’am, you still need to pay. Please put your card in here.” *gestures to card reader*

Customer: *takes her card back out and enters it into card reader, presses a few buttons, then continues to look at the menu*

Customer: “Americano!”

Me: *sighs* “All right, ma’am.” *cancels payment again since she hadn’t finished* “What size?”

Customer: “Small!”

Me: *punches it into the system* “Your new total is $[total].”

(Her card is still in the reader, so I take it out, press the button on my POS, and put it back in. She doesn’t add anything else, so I go and start on the other customers order, and hand it out. I return to the POS and the payment hadn’t gone through.)

Me: “It didn’t go through; would you like to try again?”

Customer: *takes her card out and puts it back in*

(I restart the payment, walking her through the buttons to press until it gets to the pin screen. She enters her pin and it goes through. By this time her ice cream is done by my coworkers, so I hand it out to her, and tell her the rest is coming up.)

Customer: “I go sit!” *starts walking away*

Me: “Ma’am! Please stay here; your order is almost done!”

Customer: *walks back to counter* “Sorry! Drunk!”

Me: *thinking it all makes sense now*

(I grab her muffins and hand it to her.)

Me: “Here are the muffins; it’ll be just a minute for the Americano. Please wait here, ma’am.”

Customer: “I sit?”

Me: “No, ma’am, please wait here.”

(I go and get her Americano, and hand it to her.)

Me: “Here you are!”

(Looking at her two ice cream and Americano, I decide to get her a drink tray so she doesn’t drop anything. I put them in the tray and hand it to her.)

Me: “There you are. Now, be careful; the Americano is hot!”

Customer: *starts walking away* “Thank you!”

Me: *turning towards my manager* “That took WAY too long!”

(Thankfully the night went smoothly after that.)

Not Trying To Pop Your Corn About It

| OK, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I work at a movie theater where we offer the usual concession foods, drinks, etc. Our large popcorn and drinks always come with free refills.)

Customer: “Hi, do you remember me from earlier? The popcorn you gave me had a rip in the bag and I’d like to speak to a manager about it. Also I need refills on my drink.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *I go off and get his drinks* “Would you rather me get you a free large popcorn since your last was refillable anyways?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I’d just like to speak with a manager.”

(I go off and tell someone to call a manager over before walking back to the till where the customer was.)

Me: “I’m really sorry about the inconvenience. I’m getting a manager for you now.”

Customer: “Can you just get me a free large popcorn instead?”

Me: “Yes…”

(I hand him the popcorn and he walks off.)

Coworker: “What just happened… Didn’t you suggest the free popcorn in the first place?”

Manager: “Did you need something?”

Me: “I guess not.”

Banana Split Of Opinion

| King of Prussia, PA, USA | Food & Drink

(Our standard banana splits are made with vanilla ice cream, chocolate, pineapple, and strawberry sauces, peanuts, whipped cream, and a cherry. We always ask people if they would like to change the flavors or toppings before we start making the item.)

Customer: “I’d like a banana split.”

Me: “Okay. We usually make that with vanilla ice cre—”

Customer: “No. No. No. I want it with two scoops of strawberry on either side, and one scoop of vanilla in the middle. No toppings but the strawberry sauce, and whipped cream but no cherry.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I proceed to make the banana split. Ice cream goes down first, then the sauce, then half a banana split long ways down either side, then whipped cream. I bring it to the window.)

Me: “Here you go. Will that be all?”

Customer: *disdainful look* “Yes… That’s all.”

(He pays and I give him his change. He is about to walk off.)

Customer: “You know you did this all wrong, right?”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “I’ve been coming here for five years and they’re never like this.”

Me: “I’ve been working here for a few years and this is how I was trained to make them. What is it that you don’t like?”

Customer: “The banana is on top of the ice cream. I’ve been coming here for five years. It’s supposed to go on the bottom.”

Me: “Like… under all the ice cream?”

Customer: “Yes. How am I supposed to get to the ice cream without touching the banana when it’s like this?”

Me: “I think the point is to be able to eat the ice cream and banana together.” *points at poster of banana split on store front* “See? That is how we make them here. If you would like me to remake it, I’d be happy t—”

Customer: “No. I’ve been coming here for five years. This is all wrong.”

Me: “Would you like me to refund your money?”

Customer: “No. No. NO. This is just wrong, though.”

Me: “So you don’t want a replacement item and you don’t want a refund?”

Customer: “No.” *continues to stand at counter blocking the next customer in line*

Me: “I’m sorry but beyond remaking the item and a refund, there’s not really anything I can do. Would you like to speak to my manager?”

Customer: “No.”

(He continued to stand there for another minute, looking down, flaring his nostrils at his ice cream, blocking the next customer in line. Finally he moved away. Ten minutes later, I saw him throw his empty carton out. I guess he found a way around the banana.)

Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”

I Spit On Your Service

| Victoria, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I take an order for a couple for two burgers to go and after receiving their order they leave. I go in the back to make my food for a break and hear over the speaker:)

Customer: *in drive-thru* “We just ordered two burgers and they are cold and dry.”

Drive-Thru Operator: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’ll fix that for you.”

(The drive-thru operator and cook make sure to add lots of sauce and heat the burger in the microwave. I’m now seated near the door on my break. The customer storms into the store and throws the bag onto the counter.)

Customer: “We were hungry; do you know what that’s like? You should have just spit in it. That’s what we did when I worked at [Different National Chain]!” *storms out*

Me: *to manager also on break* “Do we get in trouble for being told we should have spit in someone’s food?”

Manager: “…I don’t think so.”

Me: “Remind me not to eat at [Different National Chain].”

Manager: “Probably a good idea.”

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