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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 2

| Waterbury, CT, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at a pizza place that has a delivery service that prides themselves on having your food to you in under an hour. When I enter an order in the computer, I need to click pickup or delivery because the computer charges a fee for delivery orders.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant] tonight! Will this be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I want two large [expensive pizzas].”

Me: “Certainly, will that be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I also want a medium all cheese with onions and half olives.”

Me: “Sure, will this be pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “I also want a garden salad with extra tomatoes.”

Me: “Sir, I need to know if you’d like pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Can you read back my order?”

Me: Sure, did you want this for pickup or delivery? Two large [expensive pizzas]. One medium all cheese with onions and half olives. And one garden salad with extra tomatoes. It’ll be $53.50 for pickup, or $55.50 for delivery. Which would you like?”

Customer: “Perfect! This is John Smith, see you soon!” *hangs up*

Me: *sighs*

Coworker: “John Smith?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Coworker: “Today is Friday, it’s 4:30. He does this every week. He wants delivery, 123 Main Street. He refuses to tell us every time he orders because he can call and scream at us when it’s not delivered on time, and the manager will give him the order free ‘for the trouble.’”

Me: “Wow, thanks!”

Coworker: “No problem, I hate that a**-hole.”

(The order got to John Smith with time to spare. He had to pay, and had no reason to call and complain. Next Friday at 4:30, he didn’t call.)

Related:

A Hot Slice Of Justice

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Don’t Count On It

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We have school contracts at our restaurant that allows schools to buy pizza at a reduced price for resale. One such school has been calling every single order to complain, and giving us trouble every week, usually about them missing pizza. Finally, our district manager decides to deliver the pizzas personally, to make sure everything is right this time. Soon, we get this call.)

School: “Hi, I was calling because your driver left the pizza bags here. Were you going to pick them up?”

(Curious about why our manager would leave the expensive bags there, we wait for her to come back to ask.)

District Manager: “Oh, that? They asked me if I had an hour to wait for them to count the pizzas. I said ‘nope’ and walked out.”

Assistant Manager: “Why would it take them an hour to count 40 pizzas?”

District Manager: “Honestly? I don’t think they can count…”

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Dispatched With Relative(s) Ease

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in a family restaurant. The family is an elderly couple who pass their restaurant onto their two children, a brother and sister.)

Customer: “I’m [Male Owner]’s brother, and he always gives me a discount.”

Me: *seeing red flags* “Oh, okay. What’s your name?”

Customer: “Ryan.”

Me: “Okay, he’s actually here right now. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Customer: *practically jumping out of his chair* “NO, don’t do that! It’s busy. I don’t want to bother him.”

Me: “Don’t be silly! We only have a few tables. He’d be mad if I didn’t tell him you were here. Plus, you’re family. He can set aside a few minutes. I’ll have him come out here, and I’ll let him know you want a discount, too.”

(I walk away, but instead of walking to the back, I walk right to the hostess stand and wait. I watch them as they get up, get their coats, and begin to leave, avoiding eye contact with me.)

Me: *with a patronizing half-smile* “Have a good night.”