Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Ruined His Bucket List

| Burlington, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work for a big movie theater company and we are currently having a promotional offer that allows a customer to upgrade their large popcorn bag to a large popcorn bucket with the purchase of either one or two large fountain drinks. My manager likes to keep the buckets on display underneath the large popcorn bags, which sometimes confuses customers into thinking the buckets can be purchased separately, which they cannot. It has been a very busy day and the line for concession is stretching across the lobby. After calling over the next customer, a middle aged man approaches with his friend.)

Customer: “I’ll get a bucket of popcorn and a large bottle of water.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the bucket can only be purchased with one or two large fountain drinks.”

(The customer is visibly upset.)

Customer: “I just want a bucket of popcorn and a water. Why is that so hard to understand?”

Me: “If you’d really prefer the bucket, you have the option to purchase a large fountain drink and fill it up with water at the drink station. It would only be fifty cents more.”

Customer: “I don’t want a cup of water. I want a bottle of water!”

Me: “Sir, the bucket is a promotional offer and can’t be sold separately.”

Customer: “Fine. Get me the d*** fountain drink.”

(The customer looks over to his friend.)

Customer: “Why does this have to be so difficult?”

(I retrieve a bucket of popcorn and a large fountain drink.)

Me: “There you are, sir. That will be fourteen dollars.”

Customer: “Where’s my bottle of water?”

Me: “Would you like the bottle as well as the cup?”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(I get the bottle of water.)

Me: “That will be nineteen dollars.”

(He paid and took the bucket and the bottle, but left the fountain drink cup, saying he didn’t want it.)

Dairy, Dairy, Quite Contrary

| UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(In the restaurant I work in the waiting staff make the desserts. We get an order for our children’s pancakes dessert which normally comes with ice cream, sauce, and marshmallows. The message says ‘just pancakes and marshmallows, no dairy.’ I check with my coworker who took the order.)

Me: “Our pancakes have dairy in them. Did you inform the customer?”

Coworker: “Yes. They just said they wanted them anyway, so I put the order through as they asked.”

(I decide to go check with the customer, who ordered the pancakes for her sons. Just in case there was any confusion.)

Me: “Sorry to disturb, but is this the table that ordered the pancakes with no dairy, just marshmallows?”

Customer: “Yes. Is there a problem?”

Me: “Are your children lactose-intolerant at all?”

Customer: “Yes, actually.”

Me: “Well, the pancakes we sell aren’t lactose-free. And I’m sorry, but we have no dairy-free alternative. I wouldn’t want your boys to get sick.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I know. But I already promised my boys the dessert. With all the extra stuff on they will get sick, but just the pancakes will make them only a little sick, so that’s fine.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I walk away to explain to my coworker making desserts not to worry about anything. The boys enjoyed their desserts but didn’t look to great afterwards.)

Going To Dye Of Stupidity

| RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It’s a busy Sunday at the market I work at and we have run out of brown eggs. I’m filling the empty space with white eggs when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “I was wondering if you could go in the back and dye these white eggs brown for me?”

Me: “I don’t think I can do that.”

Customer: “Well, that’s what you do with eggs, right? You just dye the white eggs brown. My husband won’t eat white eggs so could you dye these brown?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just see if someone else will dye these for me, then.”

A Junior Burger Becomes A Big Problem

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

(I work at a fast food joint where I mostly operate drive-thru. As any other restaurant, we have a large menu based on the outside for customers to see.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Get me two hamburgers.”

Me: “All right, sir, would you like our quarter pound size burger, or the junior sized burger?”

Customer: “…I don’t know your lingo, sir. I guess the quarter pound single, then. Two of them.”

Me: “All right, sir, that will be seven dollars and ten cents at your second window.”

Customer: “Whoa, now. That’s way too much! That isn’t what I wanted!”

Me: “So you would like the two junior hamburgers instead?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s what I want! Jesus.”

Me: “All right, that will be two dollars and fifteen cents. Thank you.”

(The customer pulls around:)

Me: “Two dollars and fifteen cents, please.”

Customer: “I don’t know your lingo here. You guys really need to put up a sign or something out there that tells me exactly what you have and the difference between each entry.”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, we have a large menu just behind the speaker that does just that.”

Customer: *mouth drops open and skin turns red* “Tell your manager that you’re gonna be looking for a new job soon!” *angrily drives away*

DNA Or Pay

| Windsor, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(Years ago I was a manager at a mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant. A group of three ladies come in, sit down, and place their orders. Fast forward to when they’ve finished their meals and want their bill:)

Customer: “I want to talk to a manager. There’s a hair in my food!”

Me: *I go to check and see that all three of them have finished their meals* “I’m sorry ma’am, what was wrong with your meal?”

Customer: *shows me a blonde hair* “I found this in my rice! What are you going to do about it?”

(Considering NO ONE on staff has blonde hair and they actually ate everything, I apologize and offer her 50% off her meal, even though I’ve been doing this long enough to see through this scam.)

Customer: “WHAT?! THAT’S IT! We usually get ALL our meals for free!”

Me: “I see you’ve done this before. I’ll tell you what, ma’am. My daughter works as a forensic scientist for the police department. Let me call her to come get this hair and run a DNA test on it. We will compare it to the DNA you’ve left on your coffee cup. If it’s not a match I will give you free lunch every day for life. If it’s a match, we will waste our judicial systems time and we will have you charged with fraud. What will it be, ma’am?”

(They paid in full. And my daughter is not a forensic scientist; she’s a veterinarian technician. I don’t particularly like scammers.)

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