Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Not Trying To Pop Your Corn About It

| OK, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I work at a movie theater where we offer the usual concession foods, drinks, etc. Our large popcorn and drinks always come with free refills.)

Customer: “Hi, do you remember me from earlier? The popcorn you gave me had a rip in the bag and I’d like to speak to a manager about it. Also I need refills on my drink.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *I go off and get his drinks* “Would you rather me get you a free large popcorn since your last was refillable anyways?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I’d just like to speak with a manager.”

(I go off and tell someone to call a manager over before walking back to the till where the customer was.)

Me: “I’m really sorry about the inconvenience. I’m getting a manager for you now.”

Customer: “Can you just get me a free large popcorn instead?”

Me: “Yes…”

(I hand him the popcorn and he walks off.)

Coworker: “What just happened… Didn’t you suggest the free popcorn in the first place?”

Manager: “Did you need something?”

Me: “I guess not.”

Banana Split Of Opinion

| King of Prussia, PA, USA | Food & Drink

(Our standard banana splits are made with vanilla ice cream, chocolate, pineapple, and strawberry sauces, peanuts, whipped cream, and a cherry. We always ask people if they would like to change the flavors or toppings before we start making the item.)

Customer: “I’d like a banana split.”

Me: “Okay. We usually make that with vanilla ice cre—”

Customer: “No. No. No. I want it with two scoops of strawberry on either side, and one scoop of vanilla in the middle. No toppings but the strawberry sauce, and whipped cream but no cherry.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I proceed to make the banana split. Ice cream goes down first, then the sauce, then half a banana split long ways down either side, then whipped cream. I bring it to the window.)

Me: “Here you go. Will that be all?”

Customer: *disdainful look* “Yes… That’s all.”

(He pays and I give him his change. He is about to walk off.)

Customer: “You know you did this all wrong, right?”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “I’ve been coming here for five years and they’re never like this.”

Me: “I’ve been working here for a few years and this is how I was trained to make them. What is it that you don’t like?”

Customer: “The banana is on top of the ice cream. I’ve been coming here for five years. It’s supposed to go on the bottom.”

Me: “Like… under all the ice cream?”

Customer: “Yes. How am I supposed to get to the ice cream without touching the banana when it’s like this?”

Me: “I think the point is to be able to eat the ice cream and banana together.” *points at poster of banana split on store front* “See? That is how we make them here. If you would like me to remake it, I’d be happy t—”

Customer: “No. I’ve been coming here for five years. This is all wrong.”

Me: “Would you like me to refund your money?”

Customer: “No. No. NO. This is just wrong, though.”

Me: “So you don’t want a replacement item and you don’t want a refund?”

Customer: “No.” *continues to stand at counter blocking the next customer in line*

Me: “I’m sorry but beyond remaking the item and a refund, there’s not really anything I can do. Would you like to speak to my manager?”

Customer: “No.”

(He continued to stand there for another minute, looking down, flaring his nostrils at his ice cream, blocking the next customer in line. Finally he moved away. Ten minutes later, I saw him throw his empty carton out. I guess he found a way around the banana.)

Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”

I Spit On Your Service

| Victoria, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I take an order for a couple for two burgers to go and after receiving their order they leave. I go in the back to make my food for a break and hear over the speaker:)

Customer: *in drive-thru* “We just ordered two burgers and they are cold and dry.”

Drive-Thru Operator: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’ll fix that for you.”

(The drive-thru operator and cook make sure to add lots of sauce and heat the burger in the microwave. I’m now seated near the door on my break. The customer storms into the store and throws the bag onto the counter.)

Customer: “We were hungry; do you know what that’s like? You should have just spit in it. That’s what we did when I worked at [Different National Chain]!” *storms out*

Me: *to manager also on break* “Do we get in trouble for being told we should have spit in someone’s food?”

Manager: “…I don’t think so.”

Me: “Remind me not to eat at [Different National Chain].”

Manager: “Probably a good idea.”

Diapathetic

| AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Time

(I’m the head hostess on staff at an up-scale restaurant on a very busy Friday night. It’s not long before the restaurant is packed with customers waiting for tables. The hostesses are located at a desk directly in front of the front doors where patrons check in and get a pager, which is customary for any restaurant with high wait times. An angry female customer approaches our desk in the middle of the dinner rush. There is a long line of people waiting to check in.)

Customer: “How much longer is it going to be?! We’ve been waiting forty-five minutes!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. May I have your name or pager number so I can check where you are on the list?”

Customer: “What pager number? I never gave you my name and we never got a pager!”

Coworker: *recognizing customer* “Oh… uh…”

Me: “I apologize for the misunderstanding, ma’am. Did you check in with the girls here when you arrived?”

Customer: “Well, yeah! I asked if tables were available and they said there was a wait! Nobody told me I had to give my name! My children are starving!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. I would have gotten your information, but you walked away when I informed you of our hour-long wait—”

Customer: “Well, this is ridiculous. We’ve been standing right over there watching you for the past hour! My son is diabetic!”

Me: “Again, I apologize for the miscommunication. Perhaps if you have a small snack for your son to tide him over, we can get you in as soon as possible.”

Customer: “What?! I don’t just carry food around with me! Can’t you bring him something from the kitchen?!”

(We got them in at the next available table, if only to make her go away!)

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