Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

They’re As Cold As Icee

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(The movie theater I work at has a self-serve soda and ICEE machine. We sell separate cups for ICEEs and sodas for inventory reasons. They cost the same, but the ICEE cups are slightly smaller. The lobby is almost empty. My coworker, who is the ticket taker, sees a couple in their mid-thirties filling up their soda cup with an ICEE.)

Coworker: “Hey guys I’m sorry, but you can only put soda in that cup. We have separate ICEE cups.”

Guest: “Um… EXCUSE ME?”

Coworker: “The large ICEE cup costs the same as the large soda cup. I can just switch it out for you real quick.”

Guest: “I’M PAYING YOU, AREN’T I? I’m just saying we should do whatever we want.”

(Guests proceed to dump out their ICEEs all over the floor, fill up their cups again, and then dump *that* all over the floor and storm to their theater.)

Zinfandel Infidel

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a rather expensive restaurant with an extensive wine list. I often have customers that claim to be “wine connoisseurs” and this table is no exception.)

Woman: “I’d like a Riesling, please.”

(I usually offer customers a taste first as our Riesling is on the dry side and most people are expecting something sweet.)

Woman: *trying sample* “Oh, no, I want something sweeter.”

Me: “We also have a dessert wine that is much sweeter.”

Woman: “No, I’ll just have a zinfandel instead.”

(I find this odd but I bring her a glass anyways.)

Me: “Here’s your wine.”

Woman: “This isn’t what I ordered.”

Me: “Yes, this is our house zinfandel.”

Woman: “Oh, I didn’t know they made a red zinfandel!”

(She ended up loving the wine though!)

With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working the counter at a sandwich shop when I get this exchange happens…)

Customer: “Can I get a BLT without the bacon?”

(When customers ask to remove certain items from their sandwiches, the sandwich price still remains the same. I decide to try to help the customer save some money…)

Me: “If you just want a lettuce and tomato sandwich you can select the build your own option and save some money if you’d like!”

Customer: “Why? I’m not poor! This shirt is cashmere!”

Me: “Oh, no, I never meant to imply that—”

Customer: “And who orders a plain lettuce and tomato sandwich? That’s poor people food! I ordered a BLT!”

Me: “…Without bacon?”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Me: “Will that be all?”

Related:

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 12
From NotAlwaysRomantic
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 10

Where Else Would You Egg-spect Them To Come From?

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’m an ER nurse and I am talking to one of my patients about my farm back home.)

Me: “Yeah, I have chickens and they’re about to—”

Patient: “What do you have chickens for?”

Me: “They lay fresh eggs that my family and I can eat.”

Patient: “You eat the eggs out of a chicken’s butt!?”

Me: “Uh… where do you think eggs come from?”

Patient: “I buy mine from the store. They’re store eggs!”

Me: “Those come out of a chicken’s butt, too.”

Patient: “But… but you said the ones you have are brown. The ones I get are white.”

Me: “Yeah… some chickens lay white eggs and other lay brown. That’s not how—”

Patient: “I guess I’m just never having eggs again… like, ever. That’s disgusting.”

Ultimately Wrong

| Hopkins, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(This is for the great waiter who was smiling and polite through this whole exchange.)

My Mom: “Oh, I know exactly what I’d like!” *points in menu at full description of sandwich, including picture* “The veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Oh, the ultimate veggie, great! Anything else?”

My Mom: “No, that will be perfect. I’ve had it before!”

(Time passes, food arrives.)

My Mom: “Oh, no, no. This isn’t what I wanted! I ordered the ultimate veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Ye-es. What seems to be the problem?”

My Mom: “Last time it was different. I wanted different bread. And is there mayo? No mayo. And no onions. I hate onions!”

Me: *head in hands*

Server: “No problem. I will be right out with that.”

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