Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!
(I work in a cafe that is attached to a smaller (more on the expensive side) specialty grocery store. I usually work the morning shift and have come to understand that people aren’t quite awake when they come up to my counter and order their coffee. However, more often than not I get this response from people…)
Me: “Good morning. How are you?”
Guest: “I’ll have a tall coffee.”
Me: *to coworker after patron has left the café* “I didn’t know tall coffee was a mood…”
(The customer buys her tickets with a credit card so I hand her my pen to sign the receipt. While she’s signing it…)
Customer: “Where is the bathroom? I just changed my daughter’s diaper and need to wash my hands.”
Me: “It’s right over there… and you can keep the pen.”
Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!
(I am in line to buy a hot chocolate in the coffee shop section of a bookstore. I notice two women in line behind me, wondering out loud if they have hot chocolate.)
Woman #1: “Do you think they have hot cocoa? I really want hot cocoa.”
Me: “They do, actually. I’m getting some myself! They have the BEST hot chocolate.”
Woman #2: “Oh, that’s great! I wanted to get some since I just read that hot cocoa is really healthy for you!”
Woman #2: “Yeah! They said that it is SO healthy for you, and that you should drink some every day!” *she notices the pastry display* “Oh! I think I’ll get a cupcake, too! Those are SUPER healthy!”