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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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I’m Feeling Pretty Coffee Myself Too

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work in a cafe that is attached to a smaller (more on the expensive side) specialty grocery store. I usually work the morning shift and have come to understand that people aren’t quite awake when they come up to my counter and order their coffee. However, more often than not I get this response from people…)

Me: “Good morning. How are you?”

Guest: “I’ll have a tall coffee.”

Me: *to coworker after patron has left the café* “I didn’t know tall coffee was a mood…”

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Crappy Handwriting

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(The customer buys her tickets with a credit card so I hand her my pen to sign the receipt. While she’s signing it…)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom? I just changed my daughter’s diaper and need to wash my hands.”

Me: “It’s right over there… and you can keep the pen.”

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

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An Unhealthy Understanding Of Health

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am in line to buy a hot chocolate in the coffee shop section of a bookstore. I notice two women in line behind me, wondering out loud if they have hot chocolate.)

Woman #1: “Do you think they have hot cocoa? I really want hot cocoa.”

Me: “They do, actually. I’m getting some myself! They have the BEST hot chocolate.”

Woman #2: “Oh, that’s great! I wanted to get some since I just read that hot cocoa is really healthy for you!”

Me: “Healthy?”

Woman #2: “Yeah! They said that it is SO healthy for you, and that you should drink some every day!” *she notices the pastry display* “Oh! I think I’ll get a cupcake, too! Those are SUPER healthy!”

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Parking Orders

| Oshawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(The customer orders 15 chicken sandwiches on an overnight shift at 3 am. Overnights are ridiculously understaffed, and there is a long line in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Sorry, we’re waiting on your food. If you could just park, I’ll run it out to you when it is ready.”

Customer: “No, I’ll wait here.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Last time I waited 20 minutes parked.”

(It is busy and I am frustrated at his idiocy.)

Me: “Well, it is three in the morning and you ordered a lot of food. I have the order for the next three customers, waiting behind you, all ready. You are being extremely ignorant and inconsiderate to those waiting behind you. I’d also like to bring to your attention that overnights are ridiculously understaffed. There is one person preparing food and just me and the first window girl in drive-thru. So, I’m sorry if you’ve waited long before, but I will try my best to not keep you waiting and get your order out much faster, but like I said, I am alone down here. If you would please pull up to a parking spot, I would appreciate it greatly. Thank you. Goodnight.”

(I close the window. The customer is stunned and pulls into the parking spot. Order is up in less than two minutes and I run it out to him.)

Me: “I am SO sorry for that ridiculously long wait. Enjoy your night.”

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I Pronounce Thee Idiot

, | NY, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Popular

Customer: *over dressed for our grocery store location, and speaking with the sort of tone you normally reserve for children* “Give me three la-Zaa-nya squares, an eggplant salad, and one bru-Skeee-ta.

(The customer throws on a really thick, and sudden accent when pronouncing the food. He smiles at me in a way that makes me think I’m supposed to be impressed by this.)

Me: *punching in the order, and repeating it back using the accepted American pronunciation of the words ‘lasagna ‘ and ‘bruschetta* “Three lasagna squares, one large eggplant salad, one bruschetta.”

Customer: “Bru-Skeeeeh-ta” *he drags out the pronunciation even more*

Me: “One bruschetta.” *I agree, again, as per our store policy*

Customer: *looking self important* “It’s actually an Italian word? See if it were German, you would say it the way you’re saying it, but it’s not. Bru-SKEH-ta. See?”

Me: “If you say so, sir.” *getting his order ready, at this point, I’m too tired to deal with him*

Customer: “It’s just like ‘SPUH-geeh-tee’.” He grins at me.

Me: “Of course, sir.”

Customer: “You look like a nice Italian girl. Don’t you want to learn the language?”

Me: *handing him his food* “I’m a boy, sir.”

(His face dropped, and turned an interesting shade of red. He snatched his food away and spit something in what I could only presume is very overly-pronounced Italian at me, before hurrying away.)

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