Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

You Say Potato, I Say A**-Hole

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a shift manager at a deli so whenever there is a problem, I usually handle it. A family comes in and gets their food. The guy eats all of his baked potato except for the skin. He ventures up to me to complain.)

Guest: “This potato is disgusting. The skin is dry.”

Me: “I can get you another one if you would like.”

Guest: *rudely* “That is your job.”

(I go back and find the softest potato and cook it myself. Keep in mind he already ate the whole thing, just not the skin.)

Me: “All right, here you go. Sorry about that.”

Guest: *squishes the whole potato* “Nope, dry again.”

Me: “Can I get you—”

Guest: “—absolutely not. I want a refund.”

(He then chucked a fork into my side.)

Gives New Meaning To ‘Sweet Embrace’

| Ashford, Kent, UK | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’m working in the bread aisle of a supermarket when a couple in their mid-30s approaches me.)

Male Customer: “Excuse me, mate, do you sell chocolate body paint at all?”

Me: “I am afraid we do not sell such an item here, sir.”

Male Customer: “Oh, that’s a shame. I was going to lick it off her tonight.”

(At this point the female customer picks up a bottle of honey.)

Male Customer: “Oh, god, no. We’re not using honey. It get’s stuck in my moustache.”

(After giving the couple directions to the local sex shop I saw them again twenty minutes later. The male customer looked at me with a beaming grin as he proudly showed off the chocolate yoghurt in his hand.)

No One Can Get Their Point

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Customer: “Can I have a pound of turkey, sliced thin, please?”

Me: “Which kind of turkey?”

Customer: *pointing to something in my meat case* “This one.”

(I have no way to tell what she’s pointing at, since the counter, the meat rack, and all the meats on it are blocking my view. I can only even see her arm down to the elbow.)

Me: “I can’t see what you’re pointing at, ma’am.”

Customer: *jabbing her finger at it* “THIS one.”

Me: “The counter is blocking my view, ma’am.”

Customer: “Then look closer, you f***ing [disabled slur]!”

Me: “Please don’t use language like that in the store, ma’am. Could you just tell me which kind you want?”

Customer: “THE ONE I’M POINTING AT!”

Me: *giving up and guessing* “Oh, you mean the [Brand] hickory smoked honey.”

Customer: “YES! What was so hard about that?!”

Sweetly Blessed

| Hollywood, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I work at Hogsmeade in the Universal Studios Hollywood.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am! Welcome to [Candy Shop]. Did you find everything you like?

Guest: “Do you have those glass candy feather pens? My daughter loves these things.”

Me: “You mean the sugar quills, right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. I want one of those candy feather pens. So, do you have those?”

Me: *takes a small breath of air, smiles, and walks from behind the counter and gets a sugar quill from a stand* “You mean this right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. Yes, that is what it looks like!”

(I ring her up and she looks at her receipt after I bag everything up for her.)

Guest: “Honey, you gave me the wrong item. That is not a candy feather pen.”

Me: “Ma’am, quills are feathered pens. They aren’t anything else. Please have a Magical day and… bless your heart.”

Drives Through All Your Patience

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Time

(Working in a drive-thru has given me many great stories:)

Me: “Hello, Welcome to [Restaurant]. Would you like to try one of our new burgers?”

Customer: “Wait a minute! I am on the phone.”

Me: “Okay, just let me know when you are ready.”

Customer: “All right, I’m here at the drive-thru. What do you want?” *continuing to mumble into the phone*

(Several minutes later I don’t hear the customer talking anymore.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything on our menu?”

Customer: “I have been WAITING! How come it took you so long to do your job?!”

Page 64/445First...6263646566...Last