Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Sexist In More Than Spirit

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

(I’m the only girl under 40 who works at my location of a chain liquor store. I happen to be well-educated in many types of liquor including most varieties of whiskey. This is a typical interaction I have every day.)

Me: *to customer in the scotch aisle* “Can I help you find anything today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m fine, little lady.”

Me: “All right. Let me know if you have any questions!”

Customer: “Sure thing.”

(Two minutes later:)

Customer: *to male coworker* “Can you suggest a good single malt scotch?”

(Good to see sexism is still alive and well in the liquor industry.)

Off With Their Calling Aheads!

| Plattsmouth, NE, USA | Food & Drink, Time

(I am working the drive-thru at a fast food joint that is very, very popular in my town. One night, it is extremely busy, and everyone working is flustered. Just when it seems to be clearing up, the crowd from the football game shows up. Then after the drive-thru is packed, a bus of students shows up. Between the bus, the packed drive-thru, and the ice cream machine breaking (the weather is still warm at this time), my manager is at his wits’ end. The telephone rings.)

Manager: “Let it ring. We’re too busy.”

Me: *lets it ring and tries to thin out the drive-thru*

(Telephone rings again.)

Manager: *picks up the phone* “[Fast Food]. This is [Manager] speaking.”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, I would like to place an advance order. I saw the line and it looked pretty busy.”

Manager: *starting to get irritated* “I’m very sorry, but we have no time to take your order. A bus just came in and we are swamped right now.”

Caller: “That’s why I called! So I could get my food right away!”

Manager: *really pissed off now* “Well, sorry to disappoint, but there are actual paying customers here who are willing to wait for their food rather than being a little b**** and calling to order when you don’t feel like waiting. Come in and wait, if you ever grow a pair.” *slams phone down and starts to work on the machine*

Customer In Store: *to the cashier at the front* “You guys have the best boss ever.”

(We never knew if the customer on the phone ever came in or not. I guess it takes a while to grow a pair.)

Your Order Will Be Ready Never

| Mashpee, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I’m a supervisor in a popular health food restaurant where you pick up your food at the counter when it’s ready. Customers usually give a name and get a pager to ensure that they receive the correct order, but some customers wait by the counter instead of at a table. On this particular day, we are short staffed, so I am assembling plates and putting them on the counter.)

Me: *puts two plates on counter* “Order for Sue!”

(A man who has been standing nearby comes over to the counter.)

Man: “Ooooh, what are these?”

Me: “That’s [Menu Item]. Did you have an order for Sue?”

Man: “I think my order was under Joe, but wow, these look great!” *proceeds to pick up the plate*

Me: “Excuse me, that order is for a different customer. You can’t just take someone else’s plate!”

Man: “And who’s going to stop me? You, fatty?”

Me: “Sir, I’m six months pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get around this counter quick enough to stop you from walking off with those plates that clearly do not belong to you. Your order is almost ready and it looks like you ordered something entirely different than this customer.”

Man: “I’d like to see you try that.”

(He turns to walk away and bumps into an older woman, spilling all of the food all over the floor.)

Woman: “Oh, my goodness! Let me help you.”

(She gets him some napkins and I have already directed one of my cashiers to clean up the mess.)

Woman: “Do you have an order for Sue? My pager went off.”

Man: “Your food got ruined thanks to this nasty b**** over here!”

Woman: “What happened?”

Me: “This customer decided your food looked better than what he ordered and tried to take your plates. I asked him to stop, but you came just in time to stop him from receiving service here ever again.”

(After hearing a great deal of protest from the rude sandwich thief, my manager gave him a refund and asked him not to come back. I ended up giving Sue his lunch in a doggy bag after remaking her order.)

The House Never Makes Mistakes

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I have just finished making coffee and am still in that area of the store when a regular comes over to get a cup.)

Customer: “Is this the House Blend?”

Me: “Did you get it out of the shuttle labeled House Blend?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then yes, that’s the House Blend.”

Customer: “Are you sure? It looks different.”

Me: “I just made it. I’m sure.”

Customer:  “But it looks different. Are you sure it’s House Blend? Sometimes people can make a mistake without realizing it.”

(The customer tells me story of stupid mistake he made at work.)

Me: “Did you taste the coffee?”

(Customer tastes coffee.)

Me: “Does it taste like House Blend?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

Customer: “But everyone makes mistakes.”

Meat Her Halfway, Part 2

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

Customer: “Can I have the [Premium Brand #1] ham, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t stock [Premium brand #1].”

Customer: “WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! [Premium Brand #1] IS THE ONLY MEAT WORTH EATING!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have it. We have [Premium Brand #2] instead.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?!”

(I point to my apron, my hat, and the two-feet-by-five-feet sign above my head, all of which are emblazoned with the logo of the brand we carry.)


Meat Her Halfway

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