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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Let Them Eat Cake

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m a young African-American man who is working at the dessert bar at the restaurant. An elderly lady walks up to the bar and selects a slice of cake.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you today?”

Lady: “Good, good. Say, do you have any smaller slices of this cake?”

Me: “No, sorry. All of the cakes are pre-cut in the back.”

Lady: “Oh, all right. I would just hate to waste.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. Tell you what, I can get a knife and cut that piece in half for you?”

Lady: “Oh, yes, please. I’d hate to waste, you know, with all the American children out there starving. Did you grow-up starving? I’m sure you did.”

Me: “Haha, no, ma’am.” *in my head* “THIS B****.”

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Car-Tipping

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Transportation

(It’s late at night, and I’m out delivering pizza. I’m driving a relatively small car.)

Customer #1: “Oh, what a cute car! [Customer #2], come look at it!”

(Customer #2 comes out to look.)

Customer #1: “Can we take a picture of it?”

Me: “I guess.”

Customer #2: “Take a picture of me on it!”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

(The next door neighbor now opens their door.)

Neighbor: “I’ll take the picture!”

(Customer #1, Customer #2, and Neighbor run down to my car. Customer #2 then lies on top of it, for Neighbor to take pictures of.)

Customer #1: “We’re not tipping you enough for this, are we?”

Me: *having given up on existence, just shrugs*

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Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Slushed

| Wales, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’ve had a bad day and I’m stopping by this sweet shop for a pick-me-up. Shortly after I arrive a lady arrives with five children, paying a lot more attention to her phone than them. As I’m waiting in queue, she chooses to push in.)

Me: “Err, excuse me?”

Lady: “Can’t you see I’ve got all these kids!?”

Child #1: “Mum, can we get a slushie, too?”

Child #2: “Yeah, slushie!”

Lady: *snaps* “No, you got your sweets. Now be quiet!” *returns to phone*

(When I get to the till, the lady hangs around on her phone while the children compare sweets. I decide to add something to my purchase.)

Me: “Could I have a large strawberry slushie, too?”

All Five Children: “Mum! Mum! She gets a slushie and sweets! Why can’t we? Mum! Mum! Mum!”

Lady: *look of terror at the children, and hate at me*