Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Makes You Want To Bury Your Head In The Sand

| USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working a sand art booth at a fair that comes to my city every year. I had the sand set up in the front of the booth so the kids could see it and fill up their jar with whatever colors they like. A little boy that looks around 8 or 9 years old approaches my booth.)

Little Boy: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

Little Boy: “What flavors are each of these?”

Me: “Um… it’s sand.”

(The little boy looks at me in confusion. After a few seconds he points to the purple container of sand.)

Little Boy: “So… is the purple grape flavored?”

H2-Slowly Getting There

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a restaurant that primarily serves FRIED chicken and I’m running the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Uh, yeah, how do you make your chicken?”

Me: “We bread and deep-fry it, sir.”

Customer: “So you mean in grease?”

Me: “Yes, sir, in grease.”

Customer: “Do you have any chicken sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes the numbers 2, 3, and 4.”

Customer: “Oh. How much for a glass of water?”

Me: “That’s free, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that.”

(This conversation took four minutes. All he wanted was water.)

You’re A Good Egg

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Me: “Bacon and scrambled eggs, please.”

Employee:Just bacon and scrambled eggs?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s all.”

Employee:You can come back any time.”

(Which made me think that he had, in his head, told a number of customers to go to Hell this morning.)

He’s A Cracked Egg

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(Practically closing time and a spacey customer walks in and eventually stumbles to the register.)

Customer: “Can you fry some eggs up for me?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “I’d really like some eggs.”

Me: “I can’t help you.”

Customer: “Where can I get eggs?”

Me: “I don’t know, but not here.”

Customer: “I really want eggs.”

Me: “I can’t make you eggs.”

Customer: “Really? I thought you said you had eggs.”

Me: “No. I said we don’t have eggs.”

(A long and unnecessary amount of time later.)

Customer: “Oh.” *leaves*

Has Beef With Your Simple Explanation

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a convenience store that also has a kitchen and is famous for pizza. We sell pizza by the slice in a food warmer on pizza cards marked with what kind of pizza it is. My coworker has just put fresh pizza in the warmer.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what does ‘beef’ stand for?”

Coworker: “Um… hamburger?”

Customer: “Why are you trying to make me look stupid, you little c***?! I’m sure I’m much smarter than you; at least I’m not stuck working in this s***ty town at a gas station! I’m sure you had your first kid when you were 14! I want to speak to your manager!”

(I am the manager on duty and have been listening the whole time. My coworker looks at me and I walk over.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Your good for nothing employee is trying to make me look stupid!”

Me: “She has only said one word since you walked up to her and started verbally abusing her. And you don’t need help looking stupid. You’re doing a fantastic job doing that on your own.”

Customer: “You’re not going to punish her?”

Me: “For what? Answering your original question?”

Customer: “Well, I demand free food!”

Me: “Not with the way you’re treating my employees. You can pay for your pizza up there.”

(The customer then stormed off to the register and continued on about how we were trying to make her look stupid while the cashier struggled to keep a straight face.)

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