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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Katy Perry Fries

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A clearly irate customer walks up to my counter holding a carton of fries.)

Customer: “These fries are too cold! Straight from the refrigerator, I’d gather!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’ll get you another one.”

(I take back her fries, but before throwing them away, I try a piece–it tastes warm. Figuring she wants really hot fries, I get her some that are fresh out of the fryer.)

Me: “Here you go!” *hands customer the fries*

Customer: *tries a piece* “No, I can’t eat this! It’s still cold! It’s disgusting!” *storms away, leaving the fries behind*

Me: *baffled*

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Not Panning Out Well

| Grants, NM, USA | Food & Drink

(I work for a very popular pizza delivery chain. During my shift I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “Yes I’d like to order an ultimate pepperoni pizza.”

Me: “All right, ma’am, may I ask is this for delivery or carry out?”

Customer: “Delivery.”

Me: “And what size pizza and style of crust would you like?”

Customer: “I want a large pan pizza.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. We only carry pan pizza in medium.”

Customer: “Why? What if that’s what the customer wants? How much is this going to cost me anyway?”

Me: “We’ll, ma’am, we haven’t finished your order yet. I still need to know the size and style of crust you would like.”

Customer: “I already told you, large pan.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we only carry pan crust in medium. The pans themselves are medium size. There is no way for us to make a large pan pizza. You can get a medium pan for [amount].”

Customer: “I don’t want a medium; I want a large.”

Me: “Well, here are the crusts available in large: hand tossed, Brooklyn style, or crunchy thin.”

Customer: “Hand tossed, I suppose.”

Me: “All right. What else can I get for you? Drinks? Sides? Desserts?”

Customer: “I want a two-liter [Brand #1 Soda] and 14-piece hot wings.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we only carry [Brand #2 Soda] products.”

Customer: “Well, Jeezus, can’t you people ever satisfy anyone?! You are not good at your job at all. I want regular [Brand #2 Soda] and make sure to send peppers and parmesan cheese with the driver.”

Me: “Ma’am, we do have to charge for the parmesan now because it comes in a larger shaker container.”

Customer: “This is such bull-s***! I call you expecting good customer service and I bet you were even going to charge me for the delivery weren’t you!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Our delivery charge is $2.99 and the cost goes to our insurance company to help protect our drivers on the road. None of the $2.99 goes to the driver.”

Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m never ordering from here again. I’m going to have you boycotted into bankruptcy. Then you’ll see.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. So, are you canceling your order?”

Customer: “Yes, I am.”

Me: “Well, I apologize for any inconvenience and I do hope you have a great day.”

Customer: “F*** you, you piece of s***!” *hangs up*

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Dressing Down The Situation

| NJ, USA | Food & Drink

(I am working curbside delivery at a chain restaurant and a car pulls up to pick up their delivery. After the introductory spiel:)

Me: “I notice you ordered two salads without meat and a veggie burger. Are you vegetarian?”

Customer: “Yes… Why?”

Me: “Well, the dressing that comes with this salad isn’t vegetarian. Would you like a substitute?”

Customer: *turns white* “What do you mean? We always eat this salad. My wife loves this salad.”

Me: “I’m sorry you’ve never been informed of this. Most people don’t think about whether dressings are vegetarian or not, but this specific dressing contains animal products.”

Customer: “Is there just like maybe a little bit in it? How bad is it? We’ve been eating it for years!”

Me: “It contains four different types of animal lard in it. It is practically all animal product. It’s basically gravy, but for salad.”

(I can practically see the moral dilemma playing over his face while he thinks. He is even clenching the steering wheel.)

Customer: “What do I do? My wife is pregnant; all she wants is this salad and this dressing. She’s going to be devastated. She’s going to start crying…” *he continues muttering in this fashion for about half a minute* “Maybe I’ll break the news to her in a few months when she isn’t so…emotional. Do you think that’s okay?”

Me: “Wise choice. Have a great day and congratulations!”

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Coffee, Interrupted

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Coworker: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “A medium iced mocha.” *pauses*

Coworker: “Sure thing! Anything else?”

Customer: “JESUS CHRIST, WOULD YOU LET ME F****** FINISH? OH, my GOD ,you are just so RUDE! That is RIDICULOUS! DON’T ASK ME IF I WANT ANYTHING ELSE BEFORE I’M F***** FINISHED!”

Coworker: *stunned silence*

Customer: “And a LARGE COFFEE, CREAM ONLY!”

(I am the manager and decide to take this lady’s money and get her out of my drive-thru as quickly as possible. She rolls up to the window and throws me a five dollar bill, still yelling.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but THAT IS RIDICULOUS! JUST OVER THE TOP! I AM HAVING A BAD DAY AND I JUST CAN’T TAKE YOU PEOPLE RIGHT NOW!”

Me: *silently hands her the drinks* “Your change is thirty-two cents.”

Customer: “You can give it to the girl I cussed at. It will probably make her feel better.”

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H2-No

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

(A customer is looking at the bottles of pop in the cooler, obviously searching for something.)

Me: “Can I help you find something, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you have any water? I see diet Sprite, but that’s not quite the same.”

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