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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Peppered With Stupidity

| Stillwater, MN, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a pizza place and answer phone calls. This is one that happened on a busy Saturday night.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. How may I help you?”

(I can barely hear him but he seems to go off on a rant right away.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, I didn’t catch that. Could you please speak up?”

Caller: “I just f****** told you.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I couldn’t hear you.”

Caller: “I ordered a f****** pizza with banana peppers and got green peppers.”

Me: “Okay, sir, what was the address?”

(The caller gives address and I look up the receipt.)

Me: “All right. On the ticket it says green peppers. Was this an online order or did you call?”

(He tells me he ordered online so I find the online ticket and sure enough, green peppers.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do anything for you. You ordered green peppers online and that’s what you got.”

Caller: “F*** you!” *hangs up*

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Snack Attack

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money, Popular

(I work at a store that specializes in popcorn. We have regular sized bags for the popcorn (small, medium, large) as well a much smaller snack sized bag. The store offers this snack size at an unreasonably high price to encourage people to buy the regular sized bags. When customers want to buy the snack sized bags, it’s usually because they have multiple children and want to get them each a little bag so that they don’t fight over one bigger bag. However my coworkers and I know that the store offers free paper bags for regular sized bags of popcorn so that people can share. We usually go out of our way to inform parents of this and even split the popcorn into the paper bags for them so that they can save time and money. I am serving a woman with three children.)

Woman: “Hi, can I get three snack bags of buttered popcorn?”

(Each snack bag is $3 while a small is just $4. These prices are labelled clearly on our display of different popcorn flavours.)

Me: “Sure! Before I pack the bags, I would just like you to know that the small bag of buttered popcorn is $4 and three times the size of a snack—”

Woman: *cuts me off* “NO! I want three snack bags for my three children.”

(I sort of understand her frustration because three snack bags sounds perfectly reasonable for three children so I continue politely because not everyone knows that we offer free paper bags.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. I just wanted to let you know that it’s much cheaper to get a small bag and I can even split it into three FREE paper bags for your three childr—”

Woman: “NO! Just give me the three d*** snack bags!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that will be $9, please.”

Woman: “Okay, now, was that so hard?!”

Me: “Uh, no… I guess not… Have a nice day.”

(It doesn’t end there… My coworker who was on her lunch break comes out from the back of the store and this woman decides to have ‘a chat’ with her about my behavior. I continue to serve the next customers in line, a young couple with two children, who overheard the exchange I just had with the woman.)

Father: “Hi, we’ll have the small regular bag of popcorn with two of those free paper bags, please.”

(I pack the bag and pour some in the two free paper bags.)

Me: “That will be $4, please.”

Woman: *overhears, as she is still nearby arguing with my coworker* “WHAT DID YOU SAY?! FOUR DOLLARS? FOUR D*** DOLLARS FOR TWO LITTLE BAGS AND A BIG ONE? I PAID NINE D*** DOLLARS FOR THESE LITTLE BAGS OF S***. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! I DEMAND A D*** REFUND!”

(Before I can respond the father that I just served interjects…)

Father: “CLEARLY she already tried to tell you that the small bag would be cheaper but you were too rude to listen. Now if you continue to harass these ladies and raise your voice around young children, I will personally throw you out of this store.”

(She suddenly got quiet and walked out. The father and mother gave me a generous tip for telling them about the paper bags and dealing with the “d***” lady!)

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Depressing Dressing

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A lady comes into the store.)

Customer: “What’s the dressing that you all put on your salad?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have about ten different salads.”

Customer: “Oh.” *stares at menu for a long time* “The fruity salad!”

Me: “Ma’am, do you mean the Strawberry Poppyseed salad?”

Customer: “I think so.”

Me: “That has poppyseed dressing.”

Customer: *lady stares at me blankly, and then* “Is that the same dressing that you all put on the other salad?”

Me: “…”