Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Dispatched With Relative(s) Ease

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a family restaurant. The family is an elderly couple who pass their restaurant onto their two children, a brother and sister.)

Customer: “I’m [Male Owner]’s brother, and he always gives me a discount.”

Me: *seeing red flags* “Oh, okay. What’s your name?”

Customer: “Ryan.”

Me: “Okay, he’s actually here right now. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Customer: *practically jumping out of his chair* “NO, don’t do that! It’s busy. I don’t want to bother him.”

Me: “Don’t be silly! We only have a few tables. He’d be mad if I didn’t tell him you were here. Plus, you’re family. He can set aside a few minutes. I’ll have him come out here, and I’ll let him know you want a discount, too.”

(I walk away, but instead of walking to the back, I walk right to the hostess stand and wait. I watch them as they get up, get their coats, and begin to leave, avoiding eye contact with me.)

Me: *with a patronizing half-smile* “Have a good night.”

A Grape Way To Deal With Customers

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Food & Drink, Money

Me: *answering phone* “Good evening, this is [Grocery Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, my husband was in earlier and I find it hard to believe that the grapes he bought were so expensive! I think they were weighed incorrectly.”

Me: “Oh, well, if you would be able to come into the store, I can re-weigh them for you and correct for any price discrepancy.”

Customer: “Uh… I have to come in? Ugh.” *hangs up*

Me: *staring confusedly at the phone* “How else does she expect a price change to work?”

Had A Sub-Standard Education

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

Teenage Customer: “Can I get a ham on wheat?”

Me: “Absolutely. Is that a six-inch or twelve-inch?”

Teenage Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer’s dad turns to his son and gives him a disgusted look.)

Customer’s Dad: “One’s bigger, a**-hole.”

What Came First: The Chicken Or The Crazy?

| Manila, Philippines | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am by the fresh poultry section waiting for my chicken to be cut by the butcher. There are other people lined up before me so I patiently wait as the line is short, anyway. A lady in her late 50s stretches her hand across me and tries to grab a couple of bags from the cold tray. I slowly back my cart away so she can have room and have ease to get what she wants.)

Lady: “Thank you! I could not get around this line!” *groans* “I’ll just cut these myself instead at home to save time!”

Me: *smiles*

(She then walks away. She comes back after I got my produce and starts another small talk.)

Lady: “Hey, look, these section here has a promo from [Brand]! You can get a FREE kg of chicken if you buy four! How cool is that? And these look so much better than what you got. Yours look a day old. It does not look fresh anymore. You might get a disease out of that.”

Me: *tries to be very polite* “Sorry, but I only need a couple. Also, I’m very certain that what they sell here are fresh everyday.”

Lady: *rudely takes the bags out of my cart and puts the chicken from the promo section* “Here… take these five bags and I’ll pay you half the price when the transaction is done. You can take three bags and I will get two. Totally worth it, right? You definitely saved some money!”

Me: “Can’t you just mind your own business? I told you, I don’t need that much! If you’re in great need of a discount, go buy in the public market!”

(While saying this, I return the items back and get mine.)

Lady: “But I hate the smell there!”

Me: “Not my problem! Ciao!”

Lady: “You better not turn your back from me while I’m talking to you! You need to take these!”

(Security approaches her.)

Security: “Madam, kindly put them down and come with me.”

Lady: “No! I will stay here until I convince this young woman!”

Security: *to me* “Young lady, you can go now. On behalf of the management, I apologize for the inconvenience.” *turns to the woman* “Please, come with me.”

Lady: “No, I’m not going with you!”

(I left the area as soon as the security said, with a smile on my face. When I looked back, the butcher was trying to contain his laughter while security talked with the lady. I paused and tried to watch from the distance. The security left the lady alone and she started to disorganize the fruits & vegetables display.)

Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance

| Orillia, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(This happens to my coworker who is taking orders and doing cash on drive-thru window.)

Customer: *over speaker box* “You made my tea wrong! I want an extra large steeped tea with two milk and two sugar.”

Coworker: “I am very sorry about that. Come on up to the window and we will have that ready for you.”

(When the customer arrives she thrusts the tea at my coworker who accepts it.)

Customer: “You are not allowed to take garbage through the window. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

(It is our policy not to accept trash if people try to hand it to us but often if a customer hands an improperly prepared beverage back we check the mark on the lid to see what was wrong.)

Coworker: “Oh. I am sorry about that.” *hands her the new drink*

Customer: *reading notices on the window* “You should have a sign on the window saying that you cannot take people’s trash!”

Coworker: “Sorry, we can only post notices approved by head office.”

Customer: “You should have an allergy warning for lactose! Your products contain lactose! You need to warn people!”

Coworker: “Um… sorry?”

Customer: “IT IS NOT ME THAT YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO!” *drives off*

Stunned Coworker: *to me* “Didn’t she have milk in her tea?”

Me: “Yeah. Apparently we now need to warn people that the milk or cream that they add to their drinks may contain lactose.”

(The next customer arrives at the window.)

Customer #2: “Did you just get yelled at?”

Coworker: “Yeah. She was mad that we didn’t have sign saying that some of our products may contain lactose.”

Customer #2: *stunned* “Are you serious?”

Coworker: *nods*

Customer: “What the f***? I’m lactose intolerant and I don’t need a bloody sign to tell me that!”

Me: “I am lactose intolerant, too.”

Customer: “And we know god d*** well that milk and cream have lactose! We just don’t order it! Who the h*** needs a sign to tell them that!”

Coworker: “Apparently she did because she ordered milk in her tea.”