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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Going Scone And On And On

| UK | Food & Drink

(As our cakes are in a glass cabinet, I often have to list the type of cakes. On this day we do have some unusual ones such as cinnamon bun and cappuccino roll but also the usual chocolate and Victoria sponge. At this point I had already listed every cake that we had.)

Customer: *referring to cakes* “They are all a bit weird, aren’t they?”

Me: “Well, we do have Victoria sponge and chocolate sponge, which are fairly common.”

Customer: “But all your cakes are sponge; I don’t like sponge.” *points at biscuits* “What are they?”

Me: “Melting moments. They are a type of biscuit.”

Customer: “I don’t like biscuits.” *points at scones* “Are they cherry?”

Me: “No, they’re cheese.”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted cherry.”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid we don’t have any cherry scones.”

Customer: “I’ll have a cheese scone, then.”

(I reach for a cheese scone thinking I’ll give her the biggest one to appease her.)

Customer: “No, I want that one.” *points to smaller more brown scone* “Are they all cheese scones?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Why do they look different?”

Me: “They are just different batches.”

(She leaves with her cheese scone to sit down and I think that is the end of it. I am doing the dishwasher when a coworker comes through.)

Coworker: “There’s a customer through there who wants to know if her cheese scone was made today. She says it’s bland.”

Me: “Tell her yes, they always are.”

(A while later I am tidying the front when the customer leaves, she comes over to the counter.)

Customer: “What’s the difference between the batches of scones?”

Me: “They were put in the oven at different times.”

Customer: “It was just a bit bland.” *hovers expectantly*

Me: “Oh, dear, thank you.” *walks off*

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Not Horsing Around About It

| USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a pretty popular national drive-in themed fast food place that has a special on shakes after 8:00 pm. It’s a slow night when the following happens.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “Yeah, my friend wants a cheesecake milkshake, and I’ll take a large strawberry shake.”

Me: “All right, anything else for you tonight?”

Customer: “Yeah, on the strawberry shake, I want you to draw a horse on it.”

Me: *thinking I misheard* “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: “I want you to draw a horse on it.”

Me: *to my manager* “He wants me to draw a horse on it.”

Manager: “Can you draw a horse?”

Me: “Sure.”

Manager: “Go for it.”

(I drew the horse. Never heard from that guy again.)

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An Uneven Excuse

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(As a full time student, I work weekends at a small bagel shop. My coworkers were telling me about an incident that transpired earlier in the week. Note that we always cut the bagels in half after making a sandwich or putting spreads on them.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a plain bagel with cream cheese.”

Coworker: “Sure thing.”

(He then goes off to prepare the bagel, and once finished, he gives it to the customer, who pays and leaves without a hitch. Soon afterwards, the customer comes back to the store.)

Customer: “Hey, can I get a new cream cheese bagel?”

Coworker: “Was something wrong with it?”

Customer: “Yeah, my girlfriend didn’t like it because it was unprofessionally cut.”

Coworker: *confused* “What do you mean by that? Did the sandwich fall apart? Do you have the bagel with you?”

(The customer proceeds to pull out of his bag only half of the original bagel, which was not crumbly or broken.)

Coworker: “Where’s the other half of the bagel?”

Customer: “Oh, my girlfriend ate it.”

Coworker: “She said she didn’t like the way the bagel was cut, but still ate it anyway?”

Customer: “Yeah, she said it wasn’t professionally cut. They have to be really even.”

(Eventually my coworker just gave him another bagel to prevent a scene, but apparently the fact that the bagel wasn’t “professionally cut” didn’t stop his girlfriend from finding it good to eat!)