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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Also Not Eating Toes So Hold The Tomatoes

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “I WANT the breakfast burrito but I’m watching my sodium intake.”

Me: “Well, you can leave off the sausage and bacon and just do the eggs, a low-salt cheese like the low sodium mozzarella, and the fixings — salsa, jalapenos, lettuce, tomatoes.”

Customer: “No, I’m watching my sodium intake, so no salsa. And it’s no good without the salsa.”

Me: “Our salsa IS low-sodium. See?” *I hold up the container*

Customer: “That’s not possible; it’s salsa. It’s, like, mostly salt.”

Me: “Well, this isn’t? This is mostly just the tomatoes and spices and peppers.”

Customer: “No, salsa without salt isn’t possible. That’s why it’s called SALTsa.”

(I laugh, thinking she’s joking but she stares at me.)

Customer: “No, really, that’s why they named it that.”

Me: “Oh… oh, honey, no. It’s not called SALTsa. It’s SALSA. See?” *I show her the label again*

Customer: “Oh, that must be the Spanish version. They don’t have a ‘t’ in their language.”

Me: “I’m going to go slice tomatoes now…”

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Wants To Reconsider Everything

| Navarre, FL, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a sub shop which is pretty pricey. I’m working cash and this gentleman comes in.)

Me: “Hey, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a medium white sandwich with everything.”

Me: “Okay! What meat would you like?”

Customer: “Everything.”

Me: “Um, sure. Just to let you know, there’s an upcharge so—”

Customer: *cutting in* “Did I stutter? Do you even speak English? Everything!”

(This is where this customer begins to piss me off. I begin ringing him up for a sandwich with everything. Note that he can see what I’m ringing up as well as the price tally.)

Me: “All right, that sandwich comes to $21.37.”

Customer: “Twenty one dollars for a damn sandwich?!”

Me: *looking him straight in the eyes* “Everything.”

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Not A Big Fan Of Labels

| Manchester, England, UK | Food & Drink, Money

(It’s quite a quiet day with just a steady trickle of customers. It’s all nice and quiet until a woman approaches me with her little basket full of goodies. She seems the typical “I’m too good to be shopping here” customer, but I remain pleasant as always. I scan her items through, and reach a couple of tins of beans.)

Customer: “Check that they’re two tins for £1.50.”

(I scan them through.)

Me: “Sorry. They’re [price] each.”

Customer: “No. It said on the shelf that there were two for £1.50!”

(Usually I call another member of staff from the floor to check prices, but it is quiet and the tinned food aisle isn’t too far away. I go and check it myself. I find a sign clearly stating that only one variety of beans are in the deal. The sort she picked up was next to them, with their own clear label. I take the labels off the shelf and take them back to the woman at the till. I show them to her.)

Me: “Sorry about the wait. I checked, and unfortunately it is only the [Brand #1] beans which are in the deal; these are [Brand #2], so they’re [price].”

Customer: *in a condescending tone* “Well, yes, the labels would say that now, wouldn’t they! I won’t take them.”

(I rung her up and waved her on her way. I didn’t point out that I did not have a label printer concealed down my t-shirt just to fix prices of baked beans…)

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Avocano-no

| CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A woman comes into the restaurant I work in and orders a salad during a dinner rush. It takes longer than normal to make, but not an obscene amount of time.)

Me: “Here you go, [Customer]!”

(She looks at the salad.)

Customer: “Why does this have avocado on it? I’ve been a customer of this place since it started and this salad has never had avocado on it. I’m allergic to avocado. I can’t eat this!”

Me: “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry! I can remake this for you, if you want?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time. Just pull it off the top.”

(I do as she asks, and she storms out. I’m shaking, and I don’t notice my manager coming out from the office.)

Manager: “What was that about?”

Me: “She ordered [Salad] and she said it’s never had avocado on it before.”

Manager: “That’s BS. I’ve worked at this restaurant since the beginning, and that salad has always had avocado on it.”

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She Got Sick Of Him

CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Manager: “We had a guy vomiting in the lounge. He’s headed to you and asking for a refund.”

(Dude stumbles up, clearly drunk.)

Dude: “I got sick and they’re making me leave.”

Me: “Have you been drinking?”

Dude: “Yeah, of course.” *our event does not serve alcohol*

Me: “Then I can’t give you a refund.”

Dude: “Why?”

Me: “Because you came into our event drunk and puked all over our lounge.”

Dude: “Yeah, but I want to see the show.”

Me: “Well, you came in here drunk and laid a pile of puke inside.”

Dude: “I’ll just wait ten minutes, and then I’ll feel better.”

Me: “I still can’t put you in the show.”

Dude: “Why not?”

Me: “Because you are a liability. You may knock someone over, break something, or throw up again.”

Dude: “Ah, yeah, okay. I’ll come back in ten minutes.”

(The dude and his girlfriend go outside. A few minutes later the dude’s girl comes back.)

Dude’s Girl: “Can I still go to the show?”

(We let her in, and she walked out holding ANOTHER guy’s hand and cuddled out front with him for about an hour.)

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