Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 11

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a southwestern-themed restaurant, and many of our recipes include similar spices, just in different amounts. Onion is one of the most prominent ingredients in our recipes, and we sometimes get a request for ‘no onion’ in certain items. We can make some things, but it’d be pretty much just lettuce, cheese, and any number of fresh chopped vegetables that aren’t onion or mixed with anything that has onion in it. As such, I get this man in line.)

Customer: “I’d like a burrito.”

Me: “Okay, would you like that with or without guacamole today?”

Customer: “With.”

(The guacamole has onion in it.)

Me: “What kind of meat on your burrito?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

(The chicken has onion in the seasoning.)

Me: “Any rice or beans?”

Customer: “Sure, I’ll take [rice with onion in it], and [beans with onion in them].”

Me: “Any grilled vegetables?”

Customer: “Ooh, no, thank you. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “Sir… if you’re allergic to onions then I highly suggest you don’t eat this burrito. There is a load of onion in it already.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m only allergic to onion that I can see.”

(Eight years of culinary experience, and this is the first time I’ve heard that excuse. I made him his burrito – leaving off anything with visible onion – and he went on his way. No complaints yet.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 10
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 9
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8

I Scream For More Ice Cream

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work as a server for the elderly residents.)

Resident: “What sort of ice cream is there?”

Me: “Vanilla, strawberry, and peach.”

Resident: “Chocolate?”

Me: “No chocolate.”

Resident: “You said chocolate!”

Me: “No, I said vanilla, strawberry, and peach.”

(She rolls her eyes and grudgingly orders vanilla. When I bring it out, she looks disgusted and asks the manager to come here.)

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Resident: “This is too little ice cream! I wanted more!”

Manager: *to me* “You must bring more ice cream to her next time.”

Me: “Okay. I was under the impression that she only wanted a bit, but okay.”

(The manager helps me scoop out more ice cream for her, and I resume my duties. Guess what I saw when I went to clear the resident’s plates after she left? A full bowl of untouched vanilla ice cream! Crotchety old bat.)

A Wrong Order And Out Of Order

, | Sterling Heights, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a popular fast food chain. There are a few problem customers that come through regularly and try to scam us to get free food. This one couple comes in a lot and tries to say that one of the managers said that they can have free food because their order was messed up. Fortunately, one of my managers knows who they are, so when they order my manager goes out of their way to make sure that their order is correct. Keep in mind that there is another manager in the grill making their sandwiches, plus another manager that runs their food out to them and stands at their car and watches them check their food to make sure that it is correct. Sure enough, not 10 minutes after they leave, we get a phone call.)

Customer: “Hi. I just came through the drive-thru, and my order was wrong. There was no ham on my sandwich!”

Manager #1: “I’m sorry to hear about that. Did you just come through and we had to park you?”

Customer: “Yeah. Every time I come through you guys mess up my order! I demand you guys compensate me!”

Manager #1: “I’m sorry. But I’ve been told from my boss that I cannot give you guys any more free food. We know who you are and that you try to scam us. I had three managers check to make sure that your order was correct, and I stood out there to make sure that you guys checked your food. There is nothing more I can do for you.”

Customer: “Now listen here, b****! I—“

(At this point my manager is at the end of her line, so she hangs up the phone. Sure enough, we get another call back from the same number, so another manager, the one who was in the grill, answers the phone instead.)

Manager #2: “[Restaurant], this is [Manager #2]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! I was rudely hung up on by another manager when I was complaining! I was trying to say that my order was wrong AGAIN. There was no ham on my sandwich, and now my food is cold!”

Manager #2: “I am sorry to hear that, but unfortunately we cannot do anything to help you. We have been told by our general manager that we cannot help you anymore.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! You guys always mess up my food! I can bring this sandwich up and show you that there is no ham on it!”

Manager #2: “Well, you can do that, but be assured that I know that that sandwich had ham on it when it left the store. Whether you took it off is none of my concern.”

Customer: “And how do you know that?”

Manager #2: “Because I am the one that made your food.”

Customer: “Are you f****** calling me a liar? I know when my food is messed up.”

Manager #2: “Well, unfortunately there is nothing more we can do. You have a fabulous day.”

(Manager #2 proceeded to hang up the phone. I don’t get why people think that they can continuously scam a restaurant into getting free food even when we had three managers check it! Fortunately, we haven’t seen them since. Hopefully they learned their lesson.)

Well, You Can Just Go Suck On It!

| UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m providing samples for a new local sweet. A customer approaches my stall as she enters the store.)

Customer: “What are these?”

Me: “They’re chocolate covered—“

(The customer doesn’t wait for me to finish my sentence before taking a sample and spending about five minutes sucking on it. During this time she is ‘umming’ and ‘ahhing’ at the deliciousness of the sweet. She’s really selling product for me and plenty of people come up, curious to find out what’s going on. However, whenever someone tries to take a sample she turns to them and mumbles how rude they are to push ahead of her, so eventually there is a long line of people waiting for her to finish. I try to take a plate around to the other customers but she shouts at me, takes the plate, and drops it back on the stall. The line slowly disperses with disgruntled looks at the woman while I look apologetic at everyone. Eventually she speaks again.)

Customer: “Oh! The centre is different. It’s delicious! What is it?”

Me: “Well, the outside it chocolate and the inside is aniseed balls you may have had as a child.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like aniseed.”

(The customer then turns and walks away, with the aniseed ball still in her mouth. I’m a little confused, but just shake it off and get on with my work. About half an hour later I see her again, leaving with her shopping.)

Customer: “They really are delicious, by the way. Shame about the aniseed. I just can’t stand it.”

(She then left the store, still sucking on the aniseed ball.)

Not Just The Milk That Has Soured

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I’m working as a bailiff at a crown court and have the responsibility of overseeing potential jurors while on jury service. It can be a rather stressful time, and it’s not uncommon to meet people who are irritable about the whole process. This particular gentleman has been waiting to be put on a jury for the past week, and his mood has been in steady decline. This is my one and only instance with him (with the exception of the register each morning) prior to going on holiday. Breakfast is being served and I can hear an argument between the gentleman and the cashier in the canteen. This is the first time I’ve seen him anywhere near the canteen.)

Cashier: “Sir, all I’m trying to ask is which milk would you like?”

Gentleman: “And all I’m telling you is to give me some damn milk! Why can’t you understand? I want plain average ordinary MILK!”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Gentleman: “FINALLY! Can you get me someone who speaks English? This b***h doesn’t know what I’m saying.”

Me: “Please do not swear, sir. What are you needing?”

Gentleman: “MILK! Just MILK!”

(I look at the cashier and she just shrugs. I ask the gentleman to wait and I pull the cashier aside. She explains to me what to problem is and I agree to handle it. I go to the fridge and take three bottles of milk out. I then put them on the counter in front of the gentleman.)

Gentleman: “What’s this? I don’t need that much!”

Me: “Of course. I just want to be certain which of the three options you would prefer, as many people are quite specific when it comes to their milk.”

(The gentleman stares at them without responding.)

Me: “Well, sir?” *while pointing at the lid on each bottle* “Red, green, or blue?”

Gentleman: “Oh, that’s easy. Blue!”

Me: “That’s called whole milk or full fat, or you could just say blue and anyone in the UK would know exactly what you’re asking for.”

Gentleman: “Well, she should’ve known…”

(He gets his breakfast, but about five minutes later…)

Gentleman: *shouting* “THIS IS FULL FAT! I WANTED SEMI-SKIMMED!”

(He went into onto a jury that morning and I didn’t see him again as I had a half day and left for my holiday the morning after. When I got back I heard he was caught discussing the trial outside the court, which can land you with a fine and prison sentence.)

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