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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Disabled But Not Disarmed

| UK | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

(An early morning regular customer is a disabled woman in her 30s who dresses very gothic and always orders a coffee and then reads a book. A new customer I’ve never seen before comes to the serving counter.)

Customer: “I have a complaint!”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. What have we done wrong?”

Customer: “You let that [disabled slur] not only sit here but she takes up two seats!”

Me: “Please don’t use words like that. She’s a very good and quiet customer who uses the second chair to prop her walking stick against. Besides, this early in the morning there are plenty of seats.”

Customer: “She’s offending us! She’s being abusive!”

(I’m confused, because I’ve not seen the lady even move from her chair.)

Me: “Er, what has she said?”

Customer: “Nothing! She didn’t even apologise!”

Me: “What on earth for?”

Customer: “For reading one of those e-book things, and being lazy, and fat, and—”

(I can see our regular struggling to her feet and limping over.)

Me: “Please just stop. She’s not affecting you.”

Customer: “She’s a lazy f****** bum. I bet she’s on f****** benefits!”

(Our regular makes it to the counter.)

Regular Customer:  “Could I please have another coffee as I’ve finished the first one and haven’t finished the chapter I’m reading.”

(She hands me a £10 note.)

Regular Customer: “Please keep the change as a tip.” *turns to the complaining customer* “Darlin’, I work as a software engineer and you need to work on your d*** manners. Us disabled have a right to get coffee as well.”

(The new customer stomped back to her table and sat there eating her breakfast and glowering at our regular, who paid no attention at all to it. We found she’d left another £5 behind as an additional tip for ‘dealing with that.’)

A Lack Of Volume Control

| Cumbria, England, UK | Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like a pint and a half of lager and a bitter shandy.”

Me: “A pint or a half?”

(Customer looks confused.)

Me: “Of bitter shandy?”

Customer: “A pint and a half.”

Me: “Of the lager?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And would you like a pint or a half of the bitter shandy?”

Customer: “No, a pint and a half of lager and a bitter shandy.”

Me: “And would you like a pint or a half of bitter shandy?”

Customer: “No, I want a pint and a half of…” *pauses* “Oh, yeah a half of bitter shandy, please.

No Refunds From A Fire Sale

| Clemmons, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(There is a customer in the drive thru when we have to evacuate all of the employees due to a fire. The cashier has already taken her money but lays it down on the counter.)

Cashier: “The building is on fire. We have to leave.”

(An hour later, we are standing there watching it burn as the firefighters try to put it out. The same customer walks up.)

Customer: “I demand to see a manager.”

Me: “That would be me. May I ask what you need?”

Customer: “Can I get either my food or my money back since I already paid for it?”

Me: “Sure. Would you like that extra, extra well done?”