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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Wish You Were Just Pulling My Leg

| Taylor, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I was working as a cashier when a customer comes up with a cart full of two-packs of turkey legs.)

Me: “Wow, these are pretty big; they make me think of renaissance festival turkey legs.”

Customer: “Yeah, exactly! I’m going to put them in my smoker. They come out just like that.”

Me: “Oh, sounds nice! Now I’m craving one!” *laughs*

Customer: “You are? I could give you one if you like!”

(I laugh it off as a joke and finish the transaction normally. However, a couple of days later, I see the customer return with a food container in the child seat of her cart.)

Customer: “Oh! I was hoping you were working this shift again. Guess what I brought you!”

(She opens the container and pulls out a whole turkey leg, smoked so much it’s falling off the bone she’s holding it by.)

Customer: “I brought you one like I said!”

Me: *surprised* “I… uh? Thank you, but… I really can’t take it!”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I have plenty. You saw. You said you wanted one right? Take it!”

(I continue to politely refuse while she literally shoved the turkey leg at me, it’s falling apart on my belt and getting grease everywhere.)

Me: *desperate* “I can’t eat on the job. I could get in trouble!”

Customer: “Oh, well… I’ll just leave you it here for it later then.”

(She puts the turkey leg right on the belt and hurries off like nothing happened, leaving me to clean up the greasy mess. It was a nice gesture but an odd one at that!)

But We Do Have Some Everlasting Gob-Stoppers

| Annapolis, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s a snowy winter day on the East Coast. Customers are placing their items on the checkout counter to be rung up by me. I’m wearing jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, not a winter coat, no gloves or hat, and I’m three registers away from the open outside door.)

Customer: “Brrr! It’s so COLD! How can you STAND it in here? You must be FREEZING!”

Me: “No, I don’t mind it. We keep busy when we are at the register.”

Customer: *eyeing the previous customer’s frozen ice cream containers being bagged by a coworker* “How can anyone buy ice cream on a freezing day like this?”

Me: “Ah, well then, you should buy some Willy Wonka’s Hot Ice Cream! It’s perfect for those cold days.”

Coworker: *stops bagging items and stares at me with open mouth*

Customer: “Wow! Really? That sounds great! Is it too late to go back and get some?”

Me: “Sorry, we’re temporarily out of stock.”

Coworker: *turns away to laugh*

Customer: “Oh. Too bad.”

Me: *smiling at the customer’s ignorance of Roald Dahl’s book ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’* “Maybe next time. Have a good day!”

This ID Is Sub-par

| Westchester, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I am the customer in this story. I am checking out with a few items of food and some beer. I keep my ID and subway card in the same pocket of my wallet.)

Cashier: “Could I see some ID?”

Me: “Sure!”

(Not paying any attention, I hand her my subway card.)

Cashier: *holds card while staring at me, waiting for me to notice it’s not a driver’s license* “Um…”

Me: “Oh, oops! Sorry!” *hands her my ID*

Her Coworker: *while bagging my groceries* “Now, if it was a twenty, that might have worked!”