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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Half Agreeing To Half And Half

| Seaside, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

(I am joining my family for dinner when I overhear this exchange between my mother and our waiter:)

Mom: “Can I have a cappuccino?”

Waiter: “I am sorry, We do not have any.”

Mom: “Do you have any green tea?”

Waiter: “Yes, ma’am.”

Mom: “Can I have that with vanilla?”

Waiter: “We do not have any vanilla.”

Mom: “Nothing vanilla.”

Waiter: “Vanilla vodka.”

Mom: “Peppermint? Gingerbread?”

Waiter: “We do not have any flavorings.”

Mom: “Any [Flavored Creamers]?”

Waiter: “We have half and half.”

Mom: “See, I did not want half and half.”

(My father breaks his silence and speaks up and says to the waiter.)

Dad: “Just say yes to whatever she says and bring her half and half.”

Mom: “That works for me.”

Hot On The Cent

| Rio Grande, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We sell candy 10 for 1$, which equals 10 cents each. A lady walks up with her husband and child. I start ringing them up and the customer tosses a bag of candy onto my register.)

Customer: “I do not know how many is in there.”

Me: “Okay, I will finish ringing your items and count these last.”

Customer: “Good.”

(I am just about done when I dump out the bag of candy and start counting.)

Me: “Okay, you have 34 pieces of candy which will be 3 dollars and 40 cents for the candy.”

Customer: “Wait, it said 10 for a dollar. Should i go get more?”

Me: “That is entirely up to you as they are still 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

Customer: “But it says 10 for a dollar. I WANT THAT PRICE!”

Me: “Ma’am, you are getting that price. It’s 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

Customer: “BUT I WANT 10 FOR A DOLLAR!”

Me: “Ma’am, what is 100 divided my 10?”

Customer: “10, you stupid girl.”

Me: “Okay. Well a dollar is 100 pennies and its ten pieces of candy for one dollar. Each piece of candy will be 10 cents. Therefore, you are getting the sale price.”

(She then started screaming at me for making her seem like an idiot in front of her family. She then threw her credit card at me and stormed out of the store. Her husband stayed behind to apologize and say thank you for putting up with her.)

Got It White The First Time

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I wait tables at a coffee shop that specializes in cafe au lait. We mix the coffee and milk before serving it to the customer. An elderly couple comes in about four times a week.)

Customer: “Now I want my coffee a little on the light side. A LITTLE light, understand?”

(She always says this.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I fix the coffee with just a little extra milk.)

Customer: “I said a LITTLE light. This is all milk. Fix me another one.”

(I fix a second cup, a little darker, and bring it to her table.)

Customer: “Now this is way too dark. Try to get it right, would you?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I fix a third cup, medium colored.)

Customer: “I don’t understand what’s the matter with you people. I want my coffee a LITTLE light. Bring this back. A little light, you understand?”

Me: “You got it.”

(With a big silly smile on my face, I bring her coffee for the fourth time.)

Customer: “Now THIS is what I wanted! Why can’t you get it right the first time?”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll try next time.”

Customer: “Yes, you do that.”

(After she had sent back her first coffee, I put the cup on the warmer. I served her that same coffee on attempt number four. The entire wait staff has been doing this for years now.)