Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

It Isn’t The View That Is Spoiled

| Ventura, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a hostess in a very popular family restaurant. We have a playground on the patio as well as one of the best locations in town with a view over looking the ocean. Today we have a party of 100 fundraising for a youth football team, so there are a lot of kids.)

Customer: “Two, for outside please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the patio is reserved for a party.”

(The customer is sat by the window with a lovely view of the ocean.)

Customer: “Excuse me? But you wouldn’t let us sit outside! And now those ugly kids are playing in my view! Make them move!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they are part of the large party and I can’t ask them to leave.”

Customer: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t like kids either, but this is a family restaurant and family means kids.”

Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

Herd Behavior

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Top

(My mom and I are flying home to California after staying with friends in Colorado. We have had to get up extremely early, and I have had a stressful week after dealing with a new friend. I should also mention I am a brony, meaning I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I am wearing a T-Shirt my best friend got me that says Ponyvengers with five ponies dressed up as the Avengers. We are stopping off to get some juice before we get on the plane home.)

Me: “Hi! I’ll have [fruit drink].”

Mom: “And I’ll have… a small [another drink].”

Cashier: “You got it. Your total is [total].”

(After my mom pays, the cashier walks backwards as he goes to make our drinks. My mom isn’t looking up. He motions to his chest and mouths ‘I love your shirt’. I give him a huge grin and thumbs up.)

Mom: *to me* “Oh! I forgot to get water! Can you go get me some?

Me: “Sure.”

(She hands me some money. I grab two water bottles and put them on the counter, in front of the same cashier.)

Cashier: *smiling widely* “It’s on the house.”

Me: “Oh, wow! Thank you!”

(As my mom and I are walking away with our drinks.)

Mom: “He didn’t let you pay for the drinks?”

Me: “Nope!”

Mom: “Why?”

Me: “Because he’s a fellow brony. It’s an automatic bond between us, even though we’ll probably never see each other again. Bronies care about each other, and since we had already paid for our drinks, he didn’t want to make us pay for anything else.”

Mom: *confused* “Oh… seems odd to me.”

Me: “That’s because you’re not part of the herd.”

Seasonings Greetings

| Canada | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

(It’s Christmas time, and I am tasked with handing out free bags of popcorn to shoppers.)

Manager: “Hey, I just got a complaint from a customer that this batch was too salty. Maybe cut it back a bit, then customers who want more salt can add it themselves.”

Me: “Sure, not a problem!”

(A couple batches later of adding barely any salt, an angry customer approaches me.)

Customer: “What the f*** is this?!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “What, is there a shortage on salt or are you just being cheap?!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, but some customers don’t like much salt on their popcorn, and it’s easier to add more than it is to remove it after the fact. If you’d like more salt you’re welcome to add more.”

Customer: “This is f***ing bulls***! I shouldn’t have to add my own f***ing salt to my popcorn! I pay good money here!”

(Thankfully, my manager overhears this and walks up.)

Manager: *to the customer* “What money? You came to me earlier and complained the free popcorn you got was too salty. I asked my associate to cut back while you loitered around the store for half an hour, picked up another free bag only to complain again!”

Customer: *turns red and leaves*

Never Too Old To Spice Up Your Life

| NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem, Top

(At work, a regular elderly customer, whom everyone gets along with, approaches the counter at his turn.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you?”

Regular Customer: *singing* “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!”

Me: “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!”

Regular Customer: “I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna medium double cream, and a sugar twin, ahhhhh!”

(While we are singing and having a good time, I am ringing him in. However, the next person in line reaches the counter at the last little bit of his song-order and speaks out loudly.)

Next Customer: “Hey! I’m in a hurry here, take your song and dance somewhere else, buddy!”

Regular Customer: “Sonny, when you reach my age, you’ll have all kinds of time on your hands to sing all the Spice Girls music you want, and no one will stop you!” *turns back to me* “And, honey, you look like that Posh one, and she’s my favorite. Don’t ever let a guy like him be your lover, or get with your friends!”

(With that, he left, leaving the next customer standing there with his mouth agape, and me feeling quite happy! He made my day with the singing alone.)

Shaq To Reality

| Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I work in the meat/seafood department of my store. Being in Orlando, it’s not uncommon for players from the Orlando Magic to come shopping at our store. This causes my coworkers to start a running gag: whenever we serve an especially tall customer, one of them will usually say, ‘Hey, look! It’s Shaq!’ out of the customer’s hearing.)

Coworker: “Hey, [my name], look. It’s Shaq.”

(I have my head in the shrimp case, and am unable to see over the counter, so I just mutter a reply.)

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Coworker: “Seriously, [my name]. Shaq’s coming this way.”

Me: “Right.”

(I pull my head out of the case, I see a tall man walk right up to me from the other side of the counter.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Shaq: “You got any live lobsters?”

(My jaw hangs open. It’s really Shaq.)

Me: “Uh… I’ve got some in the tank back here.”

Shaq: “Thanks.”

(He walks away without saying anything else or purchasing anything.)

Coworker: “I told you it was Shaq, man!”