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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Thinks She’s The Big Cheese

| Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I used to work for a large franchise, but at a small location at which we stopped serving shredded cheese on sandwiches for a while. During this period, a woman comes in with her two preteen sons, and everything is just fine until we get to the cheese.)

Me: “And what kind of cheese would you like?”

Customer: “Shredded, please.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t serve shredded on sandwiches.”

Customer: “What? But I always have shredded.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the shredded cheese is more expensive than the regular, and since we’re a small location, we need to save it to season our cheese bread.”

(The customer is getting visibly angry now.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’ve walked out of stores without shredded cheese before! I’m a paying customer! You’re supposed to give me what I want!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to serve shredded cheese. If you like, I can give you [two kinds of our regular cheese that are in the shredded cheese]. It’s basically the same thing, it just won’t be shredded.”

Customer: “I CAN’T believe this. How hard is it to shred cheese?! I’ve walked out of stores before!”

Me: “The cheese comes pre-shredded or pre-cut. I have no possible way of shredding the cheese here.”

Customer: “I am a paying customer! That other cheese tastes like plastic! I should speak to your manager about this! I’m paying and I should get what I want!”

(Suddenly, one of the customer’s sons, who has been looking increasingly uncomfortable, speaks up:)

Customer’s Son: “Mom. It’s just CHEESE.”

Customer: “I know but as a paying customer I should be getting what I want!”

(She didn’t walk out, but she kept repeating that she was a “paying customer” through the whole transaction. Her poor sons looked like they wished the ground would swallow them up.)

Giving You A (Prison) Break

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

Customer #1: “Thank God, this line is taking forever.”

(There is no line at all, although the tables are mostly occupied.)

Me: “Sorry about the wait, sir. May I take your order?”

(The customer proceeds to rattle off a long, confusing, and often contradictory order, including such things as a meatless ham sandwich.)

Me: “Sir, I’m a little confused by your order. Do you mean—”

Customer #1: “—oh for God’s sake, I have to repeat myself now? Weren’t you paying attention the first time?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t want to get anything wrong. You made a big order, and—”

Customer #1: *sighs* “I’ll repeat myself, but just this once. I hate dealing with lazy ignorant dropouts like you.”

(He repeats his order, but I understand it even less because I am trying not to cry. He finishes speaking and snaps his fingers at me.)

Customer #1: “Hello?! Punch it in, you dumb b****. I haven’t got all day, and—”

(Suddenly one of the other customers; a strongly-built man who has been quietly sitting at a nearby table, roars and leaps to his feet, flipping the table and spilling his coffee in the process.)

Customer #2: “GOD-D*** IT! ONE DAY OUT OF PRISON, AND ALREADY I HAVE TO MURDER AN IDIOT IN A COFFEE STORE!”

(The rude customer shrieks and flees from the store. I and the remaining customers stare at the man, who quietly picks up the table and comes over to the counter.)

Customer #2: “I’ll pay for any damage. If you could show me where the mops are, I’ll take care of the mess too.”

Me: “I-I-I, um…”

Customer #2: “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. There’s always gonna be an a** like that around.”

Me: “Uh, you, um…”

Customer #2: “Oh, the prison thing?” *laughs* “Never been in jail in my life. So, anyway, where’s that mop?”

Sandwiched Between The Bad Days

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A customer has picked something up to go (that my coworker prepared) all the while complaining. Apparently she had ordered food from another diner by accident and was angry when we didn’t have her food ready for her. My coworker quickly took her order and got her the food. 10 minutes later the phone rings and I am closest to the front.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

(My voice is very bubbly. In a fake bubbly voice the customer starts yelling.)

Customer: “Well, hi, [My Name]! This is the customer who wanted a pastrami melt but who got a patty melt!”

Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. If you would like to come back I can give you refund?”

Customer: “Oh, sure! Because I just love driving all over town! My husband and I are coming in and sitting down to eat!”

(She hangs up. When she comes in, I decide to put her in my section so my coworker doesn’t have to deal with her anger. She immediately starts yelling and answers everything I say sarcastically while her husband watches on. I go to get her drinks and when I come back she looks embarrassed.)

Customer: “I would like to apologize. My husband asked me if you were the one that had helped me before and when I said no he asked ‘well, what are you yelling at the girl for?’ I’m sorry.”

(I was shocked. I told her not to worry, got her food out, was very attentive, and they left an excellent tip. I guess it goes to show that we all have bad days.)