Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Displacing An Order

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am at a local Chinese restaurant to pick up food for my office. I have done a lot of business with these folks. The young lady working seems to have trouble with her English. As I wait, another customer walks in the door.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m picking up my order my wife placed 20 minutes ago.”

Worker: “I am sorry. I have no order.”

(The customer starts getting angry, and the worker is getting upset and trying her best to accommodate him.)

Customer: “This is un-f******-believable. You people are ridiculous!”

Worker: “I am so sorry. I will make your food. What did you order?”

Customer: “You people need to get your s*** together. You need to learn how to COMMUNICATE!”

(The customer calls his wife.)

Customer: “Yeah, honey? I’m at [Chinese restaurant] getting our food. They screwed up and didn’t, wait, what? Okay…”

(The customer hangs up, suddenly looking very timid.)

Customer: “Yeah, I’m at the wrong place.”

(I feel the need to comment.)

Me: “Looks like you need to learn how to COMMUNICATE.”

(I then grab my food, tip the worker a comfortable amount, and walk out. I can see the smirk on her face, and the embarrassment radiating from the customer.)

He Has Beef With The Cheese, Part 2

| NV, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a cheeseburger with no cheese, and some fries.”

Me: “Okay, so you’d like a hamburger combo with fries. That’ll be $7.4—”

Customer: “No, no, I don’t want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger with no cheese.”

Me: “So… a hamburger.”

Customer: “NO! I don’t want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger minus cheese!”

(Note: cheeseburgers, whether I enter in “no cheese” or not, are always a dollar more than hamburgers.)

Me: “So, you want to pay a dollar extra for a cheeseburger, but you want no cheese?”

Customer: “YES! Is that so hard?”

Me: “No, sir. So, a cheeseburger with no cheese, and fries. Your total is $8.54.”

Customer: *satisfied, hands me a $10* “Much better!”

He Has Beef With The Cheese

A Burger, A Side Of Obnoxiousness, Hold The Manners

, | Germany | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I am ordering inside at a fast food restaurant. There aren’t many people inside but several cars lined up outside at the drive in and most burgers are sold out.)

Me: “I’ll have a [burger].”

Cashier #1: “Alright, but I fear you’ll have to wait a bit. Those are out right now, and several other customers are waiting for one as well.”

Me: “That’s not a problem; I’ll just wait here.”

(I’ve waited for several minutes with my cashier constantly apologizing to me about it taking so long, when another customer stomps in and goes to the next register.)

Cashier #2: “Welcome, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a [same burger as me] and some fries.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, sir, I apologize in advance, but the burgers are out at the moment and you’ll need to wait a bit.”

Customer: “Hmph! You’d better hurry up. I’m paying good money for this.”

(After about two minutes of waiting, the customer starts to curse at the cashiers about being idiots and not working at all. This goes on for several more minutes until the first burger is done and my cashier starts to pack it up for me.)

Customer: “Oi, that’s my burger! Give it to me now!”

Cashier #1: “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but this lady here came in first and therefore it’s hers.”

Customer: “Stop talking nonsense! Give it to me!”

Cashier #2: “No, sir, that’s not your burger. We will give it to her.”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting for ages now. I demand you to give me my burger. NOW!”

Cashier #1: “But sir it’s—”

Me: “Ah, just give the burger to him. This poor bloke is probably starving since he lost all his manners already.”

Cashier #1: “Are you sure about this?”

Me: “Yep, absolutely. After waiting this long, a few more minutes won’t make it any worse.”

(The cashier gives the burger to the customer, who immediately retorts…)

Customer: “Why didn’t you give it to me faster, you idiots?!”

(I’ve had enough of the customer’s sour attitude and speak up.)

Me: “For one, because that actually was MY order and I was kind enough to have it. For another, in case you didn’t notice, there is a large line of cars outside waiting and the poor guy in the kitchen is all alone. So stop being an a** and go eat your food which you needed so desperately!”

Customer: *storms out*

Cashier #1: “I’m really sorry that you have wait even longer because of him now.”

Me: “It’s alright. I don’t have anything to do anyway.”

(After another two minutes, Cashiers #1 and #2 pack my order and add an extra burger.)

Cashiers #1 & #2: “There you go. A little thank you from all of us!”

Free Lager For Free Labor

| UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’ve just fixed a customer’s laptop which had an issue outputting to a monitor. I decide not to charge him, as the problem is minor and the fix didn’t take very long.)

Customer: “Thanks a lot for that. I appreciate it. Wait here a sec.”

(The customer leaves the store and I continue serving customers. Half an hour later, he returns.)

Customer: “Here you go, mate. Hope you drink lager!”

(He puts a case of beer down on my counter and begins walking out.)

Me: “Whaa… are you serious? What’s this for?”

Customer: “For fixing my laptop!”

Me: “I… I really appreciate it, but you didn’t need to—”

Customer: “You fixed my problem quickly and with a smile. I’m not the best with technology but you were very patient with me, which is more than I can say about the staff over at [Competitor]. So enjoy that, and I’ll definitely be shopping here again!”

(That guy made my shift!)

This Customer Can Go Truck Himself

| Boise, ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry.”

Me: “Okay, let’s get your details. What’s your address?”

Caller: “Exit 49.”

Me: “Um, that’s not a complete address. Unfortunately, I can’t complete an order unless it has a complete address, due to the POS system that we have installed.”

Caller: “I’m in a f***ing semi, and I’m f***ing hungry. GET ME A F***ING PIZZA!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can not complete your order unless you have a complete address. Perhaps you could come pick it up instead?”

Caller: “Well, F*** YOU! I’m in a F***ING SEMI and I’m F***ING HUNGRY! There is no F***ING way I’m driving my F***ING truck all the way out there!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can not help you there. Besides, Exit 49 is outside of our delivery area. Have a good day, sir.”

(The caller hangs up immediately and I quickly inform my manager. The caller calls back less than a minute later.)

Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry!”

Manager: “Were you the one who called earlier, asking for a delivery to a semi?”

Caller: “YES! And the other chick wa—”

Manager: “She does not get paid enough to deal with a**holes like you, and frankly, neither do I. Have a good day!” *click*

Go Truck Yourself

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