icon_fooddrink

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Getting A Man-Handle On Your Words

| Flagstaff, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I am a woman, and I am cashiering at a grocery store that is conducting a charitable fund drive. I am packing a chatty man’s groceries into his backpack.)

Man: “Look at how you just get that all in there! You’re really man-handling that stuff!”

Me: *packing the last two things, which are pieces of fruit* “Oh, but I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

Man: “I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

(I splutter and stare at this, torn between outrage and hilarity.)

Man: “I’m sorry.” *as if to himself* “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

Me: “To make it up to me, you will donate to our fundraiser.”

Man: “Deal.”

A Job Well Done

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’ll have the skirt steak.”

Me: “Okay, and how would you like that cooked?”

Customer: “Medium rare, of course! How else are steaks supposed to be cooked?”

(The chefs at the restaurant are well trained, and the steak comes out perfectly medium rare. I bring it to the customer.)

Customer: “Excuse me! This is raw! Don’t they know how to cook a steak back there?”

Me: Sorry, sir. I’ll send it back and refire it.”

(I bring it back well done.)

Customer: “Thank you! Now that is a FINE steak!”

Came To Within An Inch Of Getting It Right

, | PA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(After working late shifts at the local discount retailer, I pull into a fast-food drive thru.)

Drive Thru Worker: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Me: “Hi, I’d like a six-inch nugget, please.”

(There are a couple seconds of silence, and then I hear the speaker turn on and I hear some laughter and giggles in the background.)

Drive Thru Worker: *barely able to speak without giggling* “Uh… Could you repeat your order?”

Me: “I’d like a six-inch nug— OH, MY GOD! No! I want a SIX-PIECE nugget!”

(I complete my order and pull around to see the worker and two of his coworkers red-faced and trying to contain their laughter. In the mean time, I’m no better; my face was red with embarrassment. I pay and get my food, and I couldn’t have gotten out of that queue fast enough! I guess I subconsciously wanted to go to the sub shop that night.)

The Definition Of Cold Is Too Hot To Handle

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s about 15 minutes before closing time, and so we have very little hot food left. We do however, continue to sell cold items for customers to take home and cook for themselves.)

Customer: “Do you have any chicken pies still hot?”

Me: “Sorry, mate. We’ve sold out of the chicken pies. I’ve still got some cold ones in the fridge though.”

Customer: “Cold? Like, how cold?”

Me: “As in refrigerated. They’re not frozen, just cold. Uncooked.”

Customer: “Ah, okay. I’ll grab one of those thanks.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be [price].” *I get the customer his pie*

Customer: “Ugh! So this is really cold! Can you heat this up for me?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”

Customer: “Just real quick, in the microwave?”

Me: “Sorry. Like I said, the cold pies are uncooked. It needs to be cooked in an oven.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t want this one, then. When you said ‘cold’ I thought you meant, like, ‘sort of warm.'”

A New Form Of Reverse Psychology

, | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive thru and we were about to close. I see a car full of high-schoolers pull up to the window and the whole car is backwards. I go see what’s going on.)

Customer: “I bet you haven’t seen a car drive backwards through your drive thru before!”

Me: “No, sure haven’t!”

Customer: “So this means we get free food then right? For being original?”

Me: “Um, no. Nice try.”

Customer: “Okay. Had to try.” *drives off in reverse*

Page 211/415First...209210211212213...Last