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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Demanding To A Fault(line)

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It is a typical day at the ‘upscale’ grocery store I work at, in the bakery section. An older gentleman walks up.)

Customer: “I’ll have one brownie, please.”

(Right as he orders, the ground begins to shake. Glass bottles are clinking on the shelves, signs are swinging. It is pretty obvious we are having an earthquake which is not a normal occurrence in my state. It only lasts about 20 seconds but I stand there in shock for a few more before looking back at the customer.)

Me: “Woah, that was crazy. Never felt anything like that before. Do you think that was an earthquake or what?”

Customer: *looks at me with a completely straight face and says in a very loud voice, enunciating each syllable very clearly* “I. Said. One. Brownie. Please.”

(I gave him his brownie and he walked away like nothing ever happened with the signs above his head still swinging…)

The Cake Order Is A Lie

| Hamilton, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(As in many establishments, whenever we answer the phone we always answer with the name of our store, and our location.)

Me: “[Restaurant], Hamilton. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I ordered a cake from you guys and I’m supposed to pick it up tomorrow. I want some information changed with the writing on the cake.”

Me: “Okay, could you please give me your information so I can find your order sheet.”

(Customer proceeds to give me his information. We are an extremely small store and so any cake order is simply posted on a cork-board and easy to find. I cannot find his order and I start feeling anxious.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t seem to be able to locate your order sheet.”

(The customer starts getting very angry, calling us incompetent and that he specifically remembers placing this order, etc. I’m trying hard to keep it together because I am not used to people talking to me in the way this customer is. I try to see what I can do.)

Me: “Sir, if you wouldn’t mind calling me back in ten minutes, I’m going to look through the whole store to see if I can find your cake order.”

Customer: “You do that!”

(He hangs up. We have two freezers: one in the front of the store and one in the back. None of the cake orders match his description. I wait for his call back with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I answer the phone, again with the name of the store and location.)

Me: “[Restaurant], Hamilton. How can I help you?”

Customer: *angrily* “Well? Did you find it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I couldn’t.”

Customer: “Well you’d better fix this because this is all your fault and you’re going to ruin my mother’s birthday and I’m coming in tomorrow and it better be done! I can’t believe this. Do you even understand how irresponsible you are? How would you feel if someone f***ed up your order?!”

Me: “I would be upset as well, sir. I understand your anger.”

Customer: *condescendingly* “Well, that’s real diplomatic of you, kid.”

(He gives me his order again, then hangs up the phone. I’m really upset now and shaky, and I should have done this before, but I page my manager. When she calls me back, I tearfully explain the whole situation and she’s thoroughly angry at this guy. She has me call the only two other locations we have to check if they have the cake order, which they didn’t.)

Manager: “Wait a minute. Just humour me and call [Famous Ice Cream Chain] and see if they have his cake order.”

(Dubiously, I call the store. Please note, the names of our stores sound NOTHING ALIKE.)

Other Store: “How can I help you?

Me: “Hi, I’m calling from [Restaurant]. I just got a call from angry customer about his cake order. Do you happen to have [Customer]’s cake order?”

Other Store: “Yup. We sure do!”

Me: “Oh, my god, I’m so mad. I’m going to call you back.”

(I hang up and then call my manager.)

Me: “He totally ordered the cake from the other store!

Manager: “I knew it! And you answered the phone with our store name, right?”

Me: “Of course. Twice!”

Manager: “Okay, this is what you’re going to do. Call the store back, tell them to make the changes, and tell them to add this note. ‘Dear, sir, we have made the necessary changes to the cake as you have requested, DESPITE the fact that you called the wrong store multiple times, and we’re extremely rude to an employee of [Restaurant]. You are never to call [Restaurant] and order a cake from us. Sincerely, [Restaurant].”

(I called the other store, explained the situation, and I dictated the note to them, which they wrote down gleefully. I never found out if they actually gave the note with the cake but we never got a call from him again. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he picked up his cake!)

Should Have Put A Lid On It

, | FL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(The customer enters the restaurant and looks confused. I take his order and notice he often mumbles words to himself. Once he is done ordering I hand him his cups which he goes to fill up and once he comes back, I notice he has a lid on only one cup.)

Me: “Sir, do you need a lid for that second drink?”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Nah, I already blew my lid this morning.” *walks away*