icon_fooddrink

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Silenced Her Cake-Hole

| Wasilla, AK, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am in at the customer service desk behind a lady who is attempting to make a return.)

Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re f****** lying to your customers!”

Clerk: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “THIS!” *slams a half-eaten cake onto the counter* “The label says it’s ‘German Chocolate Cake!’ I bought it for my book club as part of our International Cuisine week and they tell me it’s not from Germany at all!”

(The clerk and I both get the same look of utter disbelief.)

Clerk: “Erm, yes, ma’am. German cake is named after the man who created it, Sam German. It has nothing to do with the country.”

Customer: “Well, how the h*** are customers supposed to know that? Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was by this? I should sue you for emotional distress!”

Clerk: “Do you have your receipt? We normally don’t return food if it’s half-eaten but I’ll see what can be done for you.”

(The woman shoves her receipt in the clerk’s face and grumbles as the clerk goes off to check with her manager.)

Customer: “Honestly, can you believe the type of people they employ here?”

Me: “Yes, I know. It’s quite impressive, isn’t it? I doubt I’d have been that patient if it were me behind the counter.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Well, she’s happily making the effort to circumvent policy for something that is not at all her fault. If that had been me you were yelling at, you’d probably be wearing that cake right now, and have been kicked out of the store for being such a clueless, abusive idiot.”

(The customer opened her mouth as if to say something, but couldn’t think of anything. When the clerk came back, saying she could give the woman a full refund, the customer quietly accepted it and quickly took her leave.)

That Price Is Politically Incorrect

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Politics

(I am working the concessions stand at a movie theater in a very affluent neighborhood, in early 2009.)

Customer: “How much for a small popcorn?”

Me: “$5.50.”

Customer: “THAT much? Wow. Well, that’s what we get for electing Obama.”

Me: “I was unaware that the President of the United States took time out of his schedule to set popcorn prices.”

(I’ve been back to this theater recently and prices have actually gone up. THANKS, OBAMA!)

The Not So Smooth Path To A Smoothie

| Charlotte, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a coffee shop that also sells smoothies. On the smoothie menu board there is a note saying all smoothies come with a banana, protein, etc.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like two strawberry smoothies and these bananas please.”

Me: “Sure thing. Would you like a bag for your bananas today?”

Customer: “No, could you actually add them to the smoothies for me?”

Me: “All smoothies come with a banana. Did you want to add an extra banana?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I thought the sign meant we had to purchase our own bananas for the smoothies.”

(I give him a refund for the bananas and he leaves happily while my crew and I try to hold back laughter.)

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Most of the products in our bakery are dusted with flour. I am running the register when a customer walks up with a dusted loaf of bread.)

Customer: “I wanted to ask: what is this white powder on the bread?”

Me: “It’s just flour, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, then I can’t buy this then.”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “I’m buying this for my daughter, and she can’t eat gluten. Don’t you know? Flour has gluten in it.”

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

More Thanks-taking Than Thanksgiving

| Kansas City, Mo, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Holidays, Wild & Unruly

(I am working in a grocery store meat department on Thanksgiving day stocking the hams and turkeys as fast as I can. I have just announced over the speaker that we have five fresh, unfrozen turkeys left, and we are waiting for the rush of people to get them. When there is only one left, predictably two customers grab for it.)

Customer #1: “Hey, this is mine. I saw it before you did.”

Customer #2: “No way! I walked all the way across the store to get it. It’s mine! I’m going home with it.”

Customer #1: “Why don’t you get a ham or something? I need this turkey for my dinner tonight. You can get something else.”

Customer #2: “Listen, you fat cow, you can buy the f****** ham. I’m getting this turkey.”

(At this point I figure I’d better get involved and run over.)

Me: “Ladies, we do have fresh turkey breasts available as well as hams and ducks. There are even a couple of geese leftover—”

Customer #2: “F*** you! I’m getting this d*** turkey and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

(Customer #2 then shoved her cart into the other woman, causing her to fall into the display of stuffing next to her, and ran off with the turkey. Hoping it was over, I went to help Customer #1 get up, but she slapped my hand, got to her feet, and tackled the other customer. I called security. Before they could get there I saw that Customer #3 had spotted Customer #1’s now abandoned cart and purse. She ran over and dumped Customer #1’s purse into her own and then grabbed just about everything out of her cart, including a bag of prescription medication, before running off. I shouted at her but she disappeared into a crowd of people. Customers #1 and #2 were by then rolling on the floor in the bread aisle while security was trying to pull them apart. While this went on, Customer #4 approached Customer #2’s cart and grabbed the turkey and most everything in her cart. Security eventually pulled them apart and they were both arrested. Sadly, Customer #3, who stole Customer #1’s purse, was never caught as the cart was in a blind spot.)

Page 205/415First...203204205206207...Last