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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Egging Them On To Try It

| UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A shop near me does sandwiches, Most of the options are chicken, but there are a few vegetarian options. Two customers are having the following conversation:)

Customer #1: “Can you get me a half chicken, half egg sandwich.”

Customer #2: “Half chicken, half egg? That just seems wrong.”

Customer #1: “Why? Eggs come from chickens!”

Customer #2: “But did the chicken come before the egg?”

Customer #1: “Depends what side I eat first?”

Triply Unappetizing

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at as a hostess in a popular chain restaurant. We have an appetizer that lets you pick and choose three appetizers. The customer would get a smaller sample size of each. In this situation I’m taking a to-go order, in person.)

Customer: “I’d like to get your triple appetizer. I want to get the buffalo wings, but honey flavor.”

Me: “Sure thing! What other two appetizers would you like?”

Customer: *stares* “I want the honey wings.”

Me: “Okay. Just to be clear, you’re saying you would like the triple with your three choices as the honey wings, right?”

Customer: *annoyed* “I don’t think you’re listening to me at all, so I’m going to repeat myself. I want a triple with honey wings.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that. But in a triple you can choose any three of these appetizers.” *points to list*

Customer: *angry now, condescendingly* “You obviously aren’t listening to me, still. I’m going to repeat myself one last time, slowly so you can understand me, okay? I want you to listen to what I’m saying to you. I WANT A TRIPLE, WITH HONEY WINGS.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I know that you want the honey wings in a triple, but I need to know which other two choices you want. If you don’t want any other choice, you can get an order of the wings by themselves.”

(The man glares at me, and is visibly more angry. The man’s son, who I didn’t even see behind him, stands next to his father and speaks up.)

Customer’s Son: “Dad, I think she’s trying to say that you get to pick three of these things when you get a triple.”

Customer: *grumbles* “I’ll just get it how it’s pictured, but with honey wings. That’s all for me.”

Me: “All right, your total is [Total] and it should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

(About fifteen minutes later, I give the man his food. He takes the box out of the bag to inspect it.)

Customer: “Why are the food portions so much smaller than a regular appetizer? And why aren’t these egg rolls cut like in the picture? And what sauce is this?!”

Me: “The portions are smaller because its a sampler. It might not look like much, but it really is a good amount of food! The egg rolls aren’t cut because they stay warmer when you don’t cut them. That sauce is extra honey sauce for your wings.”

(The customer looked at his son, shook his head, sighed audibly, and left.)

Sharing Is Berry Important

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A young girl and her granddad approach my till and he indicates the open bag of cranberries in her hand.)

Man: “I’d like to pay for those, please.”

Me: “Of course, sir. That’ll be 99p, please.”

Girl: “Would you like one, Granddad?”

Man: “No, thank you, darling.”

(The little girl then reaches over the counter to offer the bag to me.)

Girl: “Would you like one?”

Me: *surprised* “Oh, no, thank you! But it’s very nice of you to offer.”

Girl: *sternly* “You should ALWAYS share!”