icon_fooddrink

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

No Point Crying Over Stolen Milk

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(Milk is subsidized in my state so we don’t offer cash refunds or exchanges unless the product is spoiled or damaged. One man has been exchanging half-empty milk every week for six months claiming each time that the container is leaking. He does it with different clerks and it takes a while before everyone realizes he’s scamming us. As manager, I ask my clerks to let me know if they see him come in so I can talk to him.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this milk.”

Me: “Sure, we can certainly do that. Man, you have some rotten luck!”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, you just always seem to have leaky milks. Looking at how little is remaining, it must have really made a mess in your fridge!”

Customer: “Oh. Yeah.”

Me: “Wow, going through a milk every week? I wonder if [Milk Company] knows they have so many leaky containers. I should track this and notify them.”

Customer: *nervously* “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Me: “Oh. Well, a leaky gallon every week for six months? That’s unacceptable. Maybe you should try another brand? You know, [Milk Company]’s headquarters are just one town over. I could just call them and have them inspect this.”

Customer: *alarmed* “Oh, no, no! It’s fine. I’m all set.”

Me: “Are you sure? Hey, why don’t we go pick out a gallon together. That way we’ll KNOW it isn’t leaking?”

Customer: “Oh, uhhh. I’m sure I won’t have any problems anymore.”

Me: “I really appreciate you letting us know there is an issue with their packaging. I’ll be sure to keep an extra close eye on your milk from now on.”

(The customer leaves in a hurry and we never see him again!)

Guest Relations Gone Bitter

| USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(Our hotel offers free coffee to any guest. One day a man walks in. It’s obvious that he’s not a guest.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I get a coffee?”

Me: “Well… I guess so. Just this once.”

Customer: “Great!”

(He drinks it and goes away. The next day he comes in and asks again.)

Customer: “Can I…?”

Me: “No. I’m sorry but that is only for the guests.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?! You said I could!”

Me: “I meant for just that day yesterday. Not every day!”

Customer: “Well, you should have specified!”

Me: “I did.”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m going to have a coffee if I want to! It’s my right!”

(He marches over to the coffee. I call a manager and explain the situation. The manager goes to speak with him.)

Manager: “You cannot have free coffee here. It’s for the guests only.”

Customer: “She said I could!”

(The man marches off. Every morning after that, he would march in without saying anything, grab his coffee, and march out. Eventually he was banned.)

The Worst Example Of Homosapien

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A customer came up to me while I am stocking the cooler.)

Customer: “Where’s the straight milk?”

Me: “What? What’s straight milk?”

Customer: “Straight milk!”

Me: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Customer: “Straight milk, so it doesn’t turn my kids gay.”

Me: “Milk doesn’t turn anybody gay!”

Customer: “Sure it does. See right here. It’s HOMO-genized milk. I want the HETERO-genized milk.”

Me: “…”

Salad With A Side Order Of Obnoxiousness

| Jacksonville, Fl, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a waitress at a pizza restaurant. We use a number system to place orders. Each ticket gets a number to put on their table for us to bring the food to them. My boss, the cook, has two different orders of the same salad, one small for table four, and one large for table five, which is supposed to be shared.)

Boss: *handing me the large* “This one goes to table four.”

(I take the salad to the table and come back to pick up the next order.)

Boss: *handing me the small* “Actually, this one goes to four. The other one goes to five.”

Me: “I took the other one to four already!”

Boss: “Then go get it back!”

(I go over to the table with the new salad. Luckily they have not eaten it yet.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I gave you the wrong salad. This one’s yours.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The one I gave you is a large. It’s supposed to be shared. You ordered a small. The large is for the next table over.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(The customer takes the small salad from me. I reach for the large salad, and the customer picks up her fork, licks it, and sticks it in the salad.)

Customer: “You gave it to me, so it’s mine. Where’s my pizza?”

Customer At The Other Table: “We’re still going to need that salad.”

(I was speechless. I went back to my boss and told him what happened. He then yelled at me for not stopping the customer. Then he refused to make another salad. Table five came back inside to get a refund on the salad, which meant the boss had to come over. I got yelled at again for ‘not making them pay for it.’ I quit after that.)

Butter(beer) Them Up

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(I run the anime club at my school, and we have had to relocate to the coffee shop a couple blocks away.)

Barista: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Friend: “Hi! I would like to order one large mocha!”

Barista: “Under what name?”

Friend: “Hmmm… how about Hermione?”

Barista: “Okay!”

(15 minutes later…)

Barista: “Hermione Granger! Ten points to Gryffindor!”

Friend: *speechless, then breaks out laughing* “That was the best thing ever!”

Barista: “I drew a little surprise on the back of the cup!”

(It was a drawing of Hermione’s cat!)

Page 201/403First...199200201202203...Last