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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Not Quite Floating Their Boat

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(The very first customer of my shift comes in.)

Customer: “Hey, I would like a [Soda], please.”

Me: “Yeah, sure. Would you like ice?”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, sure. Only a small amount though.”

Me: “All right, then, here you go. That’s $1.50.”

(I hand him the Soda and he gives me the money.)

Customer: *right before he leaves* “Hey, what’s this?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Customer: “I said not to add too much ice and here, see? It’s full of it!”

Me: “Sir, I’m pretty sure that ice floats.”

Customer: “Liar! Here, I’ll show!”

(The customer pokes at the ice and the ice bobs up and down. He pokes it for three minutes.)

Manager: *randomly coming out of nowhere* “Sir, ice floats.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, then. Bye.”

Me: “…”

(He also forgot to take the lid, the straw, and his car keys.)

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An A-moo-sing Joke

| Richmond, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “You have nut milk!”

Me: “Yes. Three kinds, actually: almond, pecan, and walnut.”

Customer: “And you make them here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “But… how do you make them?”

Me: “Well, if you look out that window behind you, you can see our free-range nuts grazing.”

(I have done this multiple times and at least 50% of our customers will turn around to look out the window.)

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No Extra For Extra

| Bemidji, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work at a certain fast food taco restaurant. Our town’s 4th of July week carnival has started and as a result, we have been busy all for my entire shift, and I have stayed an hour and a half longer than I was scheduled to. I am in the office counting down a couple of tills before leaving, but I still have my drive-thru headset on.)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *orders $20 or so worth of food, including a nacho platter* “Oh, on those nachos, could I get extra nacho cheese and extra sour cream?”

Coworker: “Sure.”

(He modifies the nachos and the changes appear on the screens inside and at the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Hey, I didn’t want to be charged extra for it!”

Me: *laughing* “Quote of the night.”

(When all was said and done, our sales that day were higher than any other day in the three years I’ve worked there.)