Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Apples To Apples

| New Albany, OH, USA | New Albany, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Yes! How do I know which of these apples are farm fresh?”

Me: “I’m… I’m not sure I understand?”

Customer: *clearly frustrated now* “Which of these apples are farm fresh and which are factory made?”

Hunger Games: The Next Generation

| Elkhart, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m busing a cluster of booths next to a woman and her young toddler.)

Mother: *plays on her phone*

Toddler: *screams*

Mother: *starts playing with the paper placemat and crayons and stickers we gave to her baby*

Toddler: *screams*

Mother: *receives her order and, as she shovels it down her throat, goes back to her phone*

Toddler: *screams louder*

(This goes on for over 20 minutes and she does nothing to acknowledge the baby, but many guests are complaining to the manager.)

Manager: “Ma’am, is your baby all right?”

Mother: “He does that a lot. Just ignore him. He’ll shut up.”

(I nearly drop my bus tub in shock. My manager sees the look on my face and signals me to just go back to the kitchen/dish pit. He comes back to talk to me a few minutes later, after the baby’s stopped crying.)

Me: “Did you ask her to leave?”

Manager: “No, I gave the baby a plate of cheese fries. He was just hungry.

Me: “I hate people.”

Manager: “Next time, don’t look like you’re going to hit her and you can stay and watch the show.”

(The kicker? Other than the fact that she hadn’t even ordered for her child, my workplace offers a weekend deal where children under four eat for free!)

I’m Feeling Pretty Coffee Myself Too

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work in a cafe that is attached to a smaller (more on the expensive side) specialty grocery store. I usually work the morning shift and have come to understand that people aren’t quite awake when they come up to my counter and order their coffee. However, more often than not I get this response from people…)

Me: “Good morning. How are you?”

Guest: “I’ll have a tall coffee.”

Me: *to coworker after patron has left the café* “I didn’t know tall coffee was a mood…”

THIS STORY HAS YET TO BE TITLED

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(The customer buys her tickets with a credit card so I hand her my pen to sign the receipt. While she’s signing it…)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom? I just changed my daughter’s diaper and need to wash my hands.”

Me: “It’s right over there… and you can keep the pen.”

 

Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!

An Unhealthy Understanding Of Health

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am in line to buy a hot chocolate in the coffee shop section of a bookstore. I notice two women in line behind me, wondering out loud if they have hot chocolate.)

Woman #1: “Do you think they have hot cocoa? I really want hot cocoa.”

Me: “They do, actually. I’m getting some myself! They have the BEST hot chocolate.”

Woman #2: “Oh, that’s great! I wanted to get some since I just read that hot cocoa is really healthy for you!”

Me: “Healthy?”

Woman #2: “Yeah! They said that it is SO healthy for you, and that you should drink some every day!” *she notices the pastry display* “Oh! I think I’ll get a cupcake, too! Those are SUPER healthy!”