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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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No Point Crying Over Spoiled Milk

| Fort Pierce, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I’m standing in line to get a few essentials at a chain drug store that I frequently shop at. On this day, there is a new cashier. This exchange happens with the customer in front of me.)

Customer: “I’m returning this! Your f****** store sold me bad milk! I want my money back, NOW!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry about that ma’am… Um, can you hold for just a second so I can get my manager? I’m still new and don’t—”

Customer: “I don’t give a s*** and I am NOT waiting any longer! Give me my money NOW!”

(By this time the manager has come up, no doubt drawn by this woman’s shrieking.)

Manager: “What seems to be the—”

Customer: “Your d*** idiot cashier won’t do my refund! You gave me bad milk and I want my money back!”

Manager: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. She’s new and doesn’t know how to do a refund yet. But if you show me your receipt, I’d be happy to help.”

Customer: “I don’t have my f****** receipt! You sold me bad milk!”

Manager: “Well, ma’am, I need to be able to look up the purchase. Do you have a loyalty card you used? Or if you used a credit card I can look it up—”

Customer: “H***, no, I don’t have your d*** card! I paid cash, so give me my cash!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but that isn’t—”

Customer: “You’re all just trying to f****** rip me off! You sold me bad milk; my kids could have gotten sick! I never get good service!”

(She continues to scream at them both while demanding her refund. I’ve finally had enough.)

Me: “Hey! IDIOT! If you would shut the f*** up for two seconds, you would probably have been able to get a store credit at the least, but you stood here and shouted at these two girls for doing their job!”

Customer: “Shut up, you stupid b****! It’s not your concern!”

Me: “It is when you are holding me up! You’re being unreasonably rude. And before you claim they sold you ‘bad milk’ read your d*** expiration date!”

(The milk’s label said the sell by date was in fact today.)

Me: “Yeah, so, no, they didn’t. You bought milk and it went bad. Stop abusing them and get the h*** out of here, or I will dump that ENTIRE gallon on your head!”

(The customer stammers and huffs before bolting out of there, leaving the spoiled milk.)

Manager: “[Cashier], let me introduce you to [My Name]; she’s a regular here.”

Me: “You did fine, sweetie. Can I get two packages of [Nicotine Lozenges] and this pizza, please?”

(I work retail, too, and I can’t defend myself at my store. But I do love telling people off other places.)

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All Wrapped Up In Karma

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m a customer in this story. I walk into the restaurant, a semi-fast food Middle Eastern place. There’s another man, shorter and maybe in his mid-50s, ordering. The single employee is making him a salad. Also note that it’s two-for-five-dollar falafel wrap day.)

Man: “Y’know what? I’ve decided that I’ll have a falafel wrap instead.”

(The employee is already halfway through making him a salad.)

Employee: *reluctantly scraps salad and starts making a wrap*

Man: “I want chickpeas on it, and — wait, where are those chickpeas grown?”

Employee: “Well, we’re sourced by other companies. I’m not entirely sure where the

individual ingredients come from.”

Man: “Hmm, okay. What about that lettuce? There’s a bit of discolor in that! How do I know  that’s safe? I won’t pay full price for lettuce of that quality!”

(This all goes on for about fifteen minutes, asking detailed and accusing questions

about each and every ingredient. After he finally finishes…)

Man: “And I also want red onions.”

Employee: “Um, sir, we don’t sell red onions.”

Man: “Sure you do! I saw them at your other location just last week!”

Employee: “Are you sure they were real?” *gestures towards the decorative basket of plastic veggies on the counter*

Man: “Yes, I’m sure! I saw them at your other location just last week! Give me my onions!”

(This goes back and forth a few more times. Finally, the man gives in.)

Employee: “And your total is $5.65.”

Man: “What?! That is way too much! Your sign says right up there that falafel wraps are half price on Tuesdays!”

Employee: “No, what that means is that you can get two for the price of one today. You could get another for free though.”

Man: “It’s all the same anyway! You get the ingredients dirt cheap. So just—”

(And then, instant karma strikes! The man quickly looked over to the other side of the street where his car was getting a ticket. Of course this guy wouldn’t even pay for parking!)

Man: “S***!

(He runs across the busy road to try to stop the ticket, almost getting hit by a car in the process, but ultimately failing to reach the officer in time. While he’s out there complaining to the officer, the employee and I both just start to laugh at this guy.)

Employee: “You know what? The thing is that normally people are in here for two or three minutes, so even if they don’t pay for parking, they don’t usually get caught. If they’re about to, I’ll warn them. But not this guy. That officer was there for a good thirty seconds before he noticed her.”

(The ending to all of this? The man didn’t even come back to get his wrap! So instead of an extra $2.50, he had to cough up anywhere between $30 and $300!)

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Tofoolery

| USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a butchers shop. A young woman enters with a container.)

Woman: “Did you know none of your items are vegan?”

Me: “Yes…”

Woman: “If you want more vegan customers, you should sell some of my tofu loaf.”

(She hands me the container.)

Me: “Um, I don’t think I’m going to be getting a lot of vegan customers no matter what I sell.”

Woman: “That’s a shame. You’re losing the hipster customers, which makes up, like, 50% of customers.”

Me: “Okay, thanks…”

Woman: *suddenly shrieking* “SELL TOFU LOAF!”

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Common Sense On A Diet

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A few friends and I are in the car driving home from the city. We pull into [Fast Food Restaurant]. I pull up far enough for my friend in the back seat to order.)

Friend: “I’ll like a number five with no pickles and a [Soda #1], a number seven with a [Soda #2], two large fries, and a diet water.”

Person Taking Order:  “What was that last part?”

Friend: “Two large fries and a diet water.”

Person Taking Order:  “One moment, please.”

(The person taking the order forgets to mute his headset. We hear him asking another coworker if they carry diet water. His coworker starts laughing hysterically.)

Person Taking Order:  “Please pull up to the window”

(I pulled up to the window to see that the person that took the order was bright red and highly embarrassed for not realizing what he asked his coworker for. His coworker was still laughing hysterically and struggling to stand back up in the background. I tried my best not to laugh even though everyone in the car was in tears from laughing so much.)

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Champagne And Pregnant?

| Cotswolds, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work as a barmaid at a private golf course. Most of our clientele are elderly gentlemen with absolutely impeccable manners and it’s a lovely place, but there are some younger members of the club who are in this particular day. It’s one of our semi-annual ‘bring your family along’ events and we have a lot of people’s grandchildren and such around but it’s all well-run and behaved. Until…)

Woman: *twenty-something* “Give me a champagne.”

Me: “Certainly, which one would you prefer? We have Moet and Chandon, Bollinger—”

Woman: “—just anything. Whatever.”

(I pour out a glass of our usual standard and place it on the bar in front of her.)

Me: “Here you are, ma’am. Will there be anything else?”

Woman: “Took your f****** time didn’t you?”

Me: “I am not certain what you mean. You asked for this drink and I poured it for you. Is there a way we could have done this faster?”

Woman: “You’re not here to question me. My husband makes more in a month that you’ll see in your lifetime.”

Me: “Will there be anything else?”

Woman: “No.”

(She starts to walk off but turns around, puts the glass on the bar, leans over, and smacks me across the face.)

Woman: “Learn. Your. Place.”

(I kept working, but, even though my manager saw all this happening, she did nothing. I was later told that the woman in question was ‘expecting a baby’ and therefore we should ‘expect a bit of irrational behavior.’ We’ve not seen her again, though.)

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