icon_fooddrink

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

This Customer Is Soda-pressing

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am a barista at a famous, internationally known coffee shop and working at the cash register. The company at the moment only sells coffee-related drinks, ‘frappuccinos,’ teas, and other caffeine/coffee related products for drinks.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! And what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a ham artisan sandwich.”

Me: “All right, and anything to drink?

Customer: “And I want a diet [Soda].”

Me: *thinking that I misheard her* “I’m sorry, ma’am, what did you say?”

Customer: “I SAID I want a diet [Soda].”

Me: “Oh, um, I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t… carry that here.”

Customer: *looks at me with both eyebrows raised, incredulously* “You don’t carry soda?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: *throws her head back, scoffing* “That’s ridiculous! Fine, then I’ll just have a…” *looks at the menu* “I’ll just have a coffee then.”

Me: “All right, just a coffee? Would you like the medium blend? Or a different brew?” *we have a light, medium, dark, and decaf at the ready right behind me*

Customer: *scoffs again* “Just a coffee! Whatever!”

Me: “All right, one medium coffee. Anything else?”

Customer: “That’s all!” *she looks at her friend/coworker the whole time as if this was all a tiring exchange*

Waiting For The Muffin (Little) Man

| TX, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(Our chocolate chip muffins are coveted by kids as an after-school snack. We recommend that people call ahead and have us set one aside if they want to make sure we aren’t out by the time they arrive, since we stop baking muffins around midday. We will also warm up the muffins on request, but only if they will be eaten immediately, as they will be tough once they cool off.)

Me: *answering phone* “Good afternoon, [Store]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “THIS IS GEORGE.”

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “THIS IS GEORGE.”

Me: *making the connection between the high-pitched voice and the name of one of our regular second-grader customers* “You want me to save you a muffin, George?”

Caller: “CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFIN. HEATED, PLEASE.”

Me: “I’ll wait and heat it up when you get here. See you soon, buddy.”

Not So Fast Food

, | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Time

(The district manager of the fast food chain is in the building making sure everything is up to standards, so the store manager is a bit tense. I am working on the drive-thru window, where we have a target time of 90 seconds from starting the order to delivering the food. A driver pulls up to the order box.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Uh… I’d like a… hmm, number… three? And… uh, no pickles on that.”

Me: “All right, number three with no pickles. What would you like to drink?”

Customer: “Umm, make it… a, uh… Sprite. No, wait. Uh, do you have… diet Sprite?”

Me: *eyeing my timer and wishing he’d hurry up* “No, sorry. Is regular Sprite okay?”

Customer: “No, change it to… a Coke.”

Manager: “[My Name], timer’s ticking.”

Me: “So I have a number three, no pickles, Coke to drink. Will that be all for you today?”

Customer: “No, no, I’m not done. I also want… a number…” *trails off and starts talking to someone else in the car* “…a number nine.”

Me: “And the drink with that?”

Manager: “You’re usually good on the drive through, but if you don’t hurry this up you’ll be in trouble.”

(I mouth ‘sorry!’ at him.)

Customer: “A milkshake to drink.”

Me: “Yes, sir, which flavor?”

Customer: “Uh… chocolate? No, not chocolate… Umm… Strawberry. Yeah, strawberry.”

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Manager: “What is taking you so long?!”

(He grabs a headset to listen in on the order.)

Customer: “I want a… uh… kid’s meal. With… uh… hmm… chicken nuggets.”

Me: “And the drink for that one, sir?”

Customer: “Ummm…”

Manager: *with his headset muted* “…Oh. Carry on.”