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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Not So Nuts About The Innuendo

| Medford, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(At our store, we have a rack of potato chips, peanuts, and other snacks that is a few steps away from the register. The customer puts a six-pack of beer on the counter, then steps away to grab something off the rack and comes back to the counter with some peanuts.)

Customer: “You really should put your nuts on the counter.”

Me: “I’m not sure how to respond to that.” *hoping he’d get how awkward it sounded, and laugh it off*

Customer: “I might grab them more often, if you did.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, they’re probably just fine right where they are.”

(I’m pretty sure this guy was just clueless about what he said and not actually hitting on me!)

Entreating You For The Treats

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I lock up and clean the vet clinic where I work. It’s a Saturday evening after a long, busy day. I’m in the middle of mopping the main lobby when I hear a knock at the glass door.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re closed until Monday morning.”

Man: “Miss, please, you have to let me in!”

Me: “I can’t let you in. There is an emergency vet clinic down the road if your pet needs a veterinarian.”

Man: “No, please, it’s an emergency!”

Me: “I can’t let you in! I could be fired!”

Man: *starts shaking the door*

Me: “SIR! Please stop doing that! I told you I can’t let you in! If you continue to shake the door, I’m going to call the police!”

Man: *on the verge of tears* “Please… please, let me in….”

Me: “Do you need to pick up medicine or something? I can’t let you in, but maybe I can call my boss to help you.”

Man: “No, I need [Brand of dog treats].”

Me: “There’s a pet store down the street that sells them as well.”

Man: “REALLY?”

Me: “Yes…”

Man: “THANKS! I OWE YOU!”

(I never saw him again. Dude, I hope you got your treats.)

Upgraded Complaints

, | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I used to work at the local big-name ice cream and burger restaurant eight years ago. The night shift lead is the owner’s son that was just a little runt when I worked there. On this trip through the drive thru I order a small ice cream cone for me and a blended drink for my husband. We get the drink, but while the cashier is taking another order he opens the window:)

Shift Lead: “So, she accidentally made a large cone instead of a small one. Is that still okay?”

Me: *I raise an eyebrow and scoff dramatically* “No! It. Is. Not. Okay! You are giving me more for my money and it’s just unacceptable!”

Shift Lead: *grinning and handing me the cone* “Gosh darn us for giving you a free upgrade, right?”

Me: “Gripe, gripe, gripe. Obligatory threat to complain to your father, young man!”

Shift Lead: *laughing* “Yeah, you have a good night, too!”