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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Wrapped Your Hair Up In A Bun

| MN, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Spouses & Partners

(I work at a burger place that is known for their burgers but also for their frozen custard. A lady comes in with her husband who both seem to be in their late 30s. They order three separate orders: one order for her meal, which was just a burger and fries; another order of his meal that consisted of just a grilled sandwich; and the last order of two large blended frozen custard that both had some sort of candies mixed in. I’m doing my round of asking every customer how their nights are and how’s the food when I get to this customer.)

Me: “Hello! How are you two doing tonight?”

Customer: “We are actually not doing okay! My husband found a hair in his sandwich!”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry about that. Let me get you a new one of those!”

Customer: “While you’re at it, get me your manager over here right now! This is unacceptable!”

(I grab the sandwich to show the kitchen crew and to remake the sandwich and notice that the hair is blonde and all of us that are working are brunettes. I grab my manager to go talk to her and mention that I found blonde hair in it. All the while the husband still hasn’t said anything, which is odd considering it is his sandwich. I’m bringing out the remake of his sandwich and hear the rest of the argument between the blonde lady and my manager.)

Manager: “Was there anything wrong with your meal, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, no.”

Manager: “Then, I’m sorry, ma’am. I cannot refund you for your meal. There was nothing wrong with it, especially considering you ate most of it. I also cannot refund you for either of your large desserts. Just because you leave a fifth of both your desserts un-eaten and claim that they tasted horrible and that’s why you didn’t finish it doesn’t mean you would get a refund. I wouldn’t have even taken another bite if it was as horrible as you described. I’m only allowed to refund the sandwich, even when I have a staff full of only brunettes.”

(As the blonde lady was about to say something, her husband speaks up.)

Husband: “No. I know what you’re thinking. We are leaving.”

(Her husband drags her out of the restaurant, taking his sandwich and leaving behind the refund.)

Husband: “That was ridiculous and a waste of time just so you could save a couple of bucks. I don’t know why you couldn’t have just used your burger and just let me eat mine in peace.”

Half Agreeing To Half And Half

| Seaside, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

(I am joining my family for dinner when I overhear this exchange between my mother and our waiter:)

Mom: “Can I have a cappuccino?”

Waiter: “I am sorry, We do not have any.”

Mom: “Do you have any green tea?”

Waiter: “Yes, ma’am.”

Mom: “Can I have that with vanilla?”

Waiter: “We do not have any vanilla.”

Mom: “Nothing vanilla.”

Waiter: “Vanilla vodka.”

Mom: “Peppermint? Gingerbread?”

Waiter: “We do not have any flavorings.”

Mom: “Any [Flavored Creamers]?”

Waiter: “We have half and half.”

Mom: “See, I did not want half and half.”

(My father breaks his silence and speaks up and says to the waiter.)

Dad: “Just say yes to whatever she says and bring her half and half.”

Mom: “That works for me.”

Hot On The Cent

| Rio Grande, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We sell candy 10 for 1$, which equals 10 cents each. A lady walks up with her husband and child. I start ringing them up and the customer tosses a bag of candy onto my register.)

Customer: “I do not know how many is in there.”

Me: “Okay, I will finish ringing your items and count these last.”

Customer: “Good.”

(I am just about done when I dump out the bag of candy and start counting.)

Me: “Okay, you have 34 pieces of candy which will be 3 dollars and 40 cents for the candy.”

Customer: “Wait, it said 10 for a dollar. Should I go get more?”

Me: “That is entirely up to you as they are still 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

Customer: “But it says 10 for a dollar. I WANT THAT PRICE!”

Me: “Ma’am, you are getting that price. It’s 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

Customer: “BUT I WANT 10 FOR A DOLLAR!”

Me: “Ma’am, what is 100 divided my 10?”

Customer: “10, you stupid girl.”

Me: “Okay. Well a dollar is 100 pennies and its ten pieces of candy for one dollar. Each piece of candy will be 10 cents. Therefore, you are getting the sale price.”

(She then started screaming at me for making her seem like an idiot in front of her family. She then threw her credit card at me and stormed out of the store. Her husband stayed behind to apologize and say thank you for putting up with her.)

Got It White The First Time

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I wait tables at a coffee shop that specializes in cafe au lait. We mix the coffee and milk before serving it to the customer. An elderly couple comes in about four times a week.)

Customer: “Now I want my coffee a little on the light side. A LITTLE light, understand?”

(She always says this.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I fix the coffee with just a little extra milk.)

Customer: “I said a LITTLE light. This is all milk. Fix me another one.”

(I fix a second cup, a little darker, and bring it to her table.)

Customer: “Now this is way too dark. Try to get it right, would you?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I fix a third cup, medium colored.)

Customer: “I don’t understand what’s the matter with you people. I want my coffee a LITTLE light. Bring this back. A little light, you understand?”

Me: “You got it.”

(With a big silly smile on my face, I bring her coffee for the fourth time.)

Customer: “Now THIS is what I wanted! Why can’t you get it right the first time?”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll try next time.”

Customer: “Yes, you do that.”

(After she had sent back her first coffee, I put the cup on the warmer. I served her that same coffee on attempt number four. The entire wait staff has been doing this for years now.)

Don’t Do The Crime If You Can’t Tell The Time

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Money

(My store has a grocery section, including an aisle of wine and beer. Since, in my state, alcohol cannot be sold before noon on Sundays, during that time the aisle is roped off. A customer comes up to my till at 10 on a Sunday, carrying bottles of wine.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I won’t be able to sell these to you before noon.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “It’s state law. Alcohol can’t be sold before noon on Sundays.”

Customer: “But I have to have these for a lunch party! It’s starting soon, and I said I’d bring the wine!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I can’t sell these now. It’s illegal and my register will reject it if I try to ring it up.”

Customer: “Don’t you understand? I NEED THESE. I will look like a FOOL if I show up at the party without any wine.”

Me: “That’s… not really something I’m able to help with. I can’t break the law for that.”

Customer: “What law? I just want you to sell me wine!”

Me: “Texas state law forbids the sale of alcohol before noon on a Sunday. If you’d like, you can come back after noon and buy the wine then.”

Customer: *suddenly calm* “Fine. I’ll come back later and pay for these then.”

(She then picks up the bottles and starts walking towards the door with them. I call security.)

Security: “Ma’am, you can’t take those without having paid for them.”

Customer: “But she won’t let me pay for them!”

Security: “Alcohol can’t be sold before noon. That doesn’t mean you get to walk out with it.”

Customer: “But I was going to come back and pay for it later!”

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