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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

They’ve Gone Off The Reservation

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working the to-go counter at a restaurant, answering phone calls. Most calls are food orders, but it’s not uncommon to receive reservation requests as well. It’s a rather busy night, and there’s roughly a 30-minute wait for a table.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’d like to make a reservation for twenty, please.”

Me: “All right, that shouldn’t be a problem. When should we expect you?”

Caller: “In about two minutes. We’re pulling into the parking lot right now.”

Me: *speechless*

Can’t Do ‘Without’

| Coquitlam, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve had a lengthy day and am fairly tired as I approach the snack bar at a movie theatre. I’m thinking that I’d like popcorn without butter, but for some reason my mind has forgotten the word ‘without’ and I can only think ‘unbutter popcorn.’ I know that’s ridiculous and I’m still trying to straighten out my thoughts as the server/cashier comes up.)

Her: “Hi there, what can I get you?”

Me: “Oh, just butter.”

Off-Color Customer

| AZ, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

(I am changing out the coffee urns by the entrance when this exchange happens. It’s a very slow part of the day so the restaurant is empty but for one person.)

Customer: “Hey, where do I order a sandwich?”

Me: *pointing to the counter not 15 feet away where the only other customer is ordering* “Right over there, sir.”

Customer: “Where? I don’t see it.”

Me: “Just give your order to that employee right there.”

Customer: “Who? Do I order with you?”

Me: “…no. That guy standing behind the counter right there.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: *pointing* “Okay, do you see that large sign suspended from the ceiling that says ‘Order Sandwiches Here’?”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: *pointing again* “Do you see those two people standing right there? It’s just above them. Just walk over there.”

Customer: *looking directly at them* “I don’t get it. Where’s the sign?”

Me: “Sir, just walk over to where that other customer is standing and the employee will take your order next.”

Customer: *staring in that direction* “Who?”

Me: *starting to wonder if his eyesight is very bad* “Sir, do you see that person standing at the counter right there?”

Customer: “Oh, you mean that BLACK GUY? He’s a customer?!”

(This was loud enough that the other customer heard and turned around.)

Me: “….yeeeahhh. He’s at the front of the line. Just go over there and stand behind him.”

(The customer still looked confused, and still seemed to have some trouble finding it as he wandered over. I apologized to the other customer as he was leaving, while my poor coworker had a deer-in -the-headlights look while he was trying to get the other guy’s order (which took over five minutes). Thank goodness he came in while it was slow!)