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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Going Whacko Over A Taco

, | Florence, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I am working in the drive-thru, when a customer who is always missing food pulls up to the window.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Can I have some sauce, too?”

Me: “Yeah, no problem.”

(That’s when I recognized him. I repeat his order and make sure there is absolutely nothing wrong and he agrees with me. I quadruple check the bag and show all the employee’s so everyone knows he got all his food. I even take a picture. He comes back in five minutes later.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t get my taco.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the taco was in the bag when I gave it to you.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not in there now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but when I handed you the food it was in there.”

Customer: “Well, where is it then? Cause it’s not in there.”

(He proceeds to show me the bag.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you must have taken it out because it was in there when I handed it to you.”

Customer: “Okay. Okay. I’ve seen you walking around, man. I’ll find you.”

(He really just threatened me. Like, wow. So I show him the picture.)

Customer: “…That’s not my food.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it was. I just took it a couple minutes ago right before I gave you your food.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Now do you want to threaten me again, or do you want to leave?”

(He left.)

Muffins Are Sweeter Than Bagels

, | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant but I’m currently on register covering a break. An older lady, probably in her 60s or 70s, comes in and sets her purse on the counter. Our egg muffin sandwiches come with ham, egg, and cheese.)

Me: “Good morning! What can I get for ya?”

Customer: “Good morning. I need an egg muffin… on a bagel… with bacon.”

(Since some customers like more than one type of meat on their sandwich I’ve gotten similar request before. Wanting to see if this is the case, I try to clarify:)

Me: “Okay, so you’d like a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel? Do you want ham and bacon on the sandwich or do you want to substitute the bacon for ham?”

Customer: *shaking her head* “No, no, no. I need an egg muffin… with bacon… on a bagel.”

Me: “So you want bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel?”

Customer: *smiling sadly at me* “No that’s not what I want. See, this is why I came inside to order. No one can get my order right in the drive-thru.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just confused. If you just tell me what you want on the sandwich I’ll ring it up for you and make sure you get it exactly how you want.”

Customer: “I just want an egg muffin on a bagel with bacon.”

(At this point I turn toward the giant menu board behind me and find the BEC Bagel on the menu I point to it looking back at the customer.)

Me: “This is a bagel with bacon, egg, and cheese can you tell me what about this sandwich you’d like to change and I will modify it for you.”

(Customer looks at the menu for the first time since entering the restaurant, seeing where I’m pointing she looks a little surprised.)

Customer: “Oh… Oh, I see… I thought you had to… Um, I guess I’ll have that.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. Will there be anything else this morning?”

Customer: “Yes, could I also have a coffee with cream and sugar but can I have the packets?”

Me: “Of course! Your total will be [total].”

(As the lady fishes out her money, I turn to pour her coffee and get her cream and sugar packets. When I turn back around her money is sitting on the counter, she has gotten her food, and is putting the bag of food in her purse. I pay her out and give her her change then proceed to hand her her coffee and packets.)

Customer: *gestures at the packets* “Oh, could you put those in for me?”

Me: “So, you want a coffee with cream and sugar on the side but you want me to put the cream and sugar in for you?”

Customer: *looking confused* “No… No. I meant…”

(She begins looking around for something and her eyes come to rest on the food bag still sticking out for her purse. Realizing she wanted me to put the packets in the bag I begin to ask for her to hand me the bag but before I do she scoops up the packets and haphazardly tries to shove them in the food bag some of them falling out into her purse in the process. She then goes to pick up her coffee and leaves, muttering a thanks.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

(I turn to my boss, the store manager, who was behind me the whole time assembling orders.)

Me: “Hey [Boss], could I have an egg muffin with bacon on a bagel?”

Boss: “Sure! And what about some coffee with some cream and sugar on the side but put in?!”

A Catalog Of Errors

| FL, USA | Food & Drink, Money, Technology

(I am working a temporary account for a well known holiday gift catering service that specializes in meats and cheese. The account has ads in newspapers, and in their catalogs and website.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

(The caller sounds like a woman in her late thirties.)

Customer: “Hi, I saw you were having a special sale on a spiral cut honey glazed ham. I’d like to get one of those.”

Me: “I’d be happy to order you one today. May I have the gift code?”

Customer: “I don’t see a gift code. Where is it?”

Me: “It should be in a box on the side of the page, with the gifts letter designating the code.”

Customer: “I don’t see it? I’m scrolling up and down and don’t see any boxes.”

(I get a sinking feeling but keep strong.)

Me: “Oh, do you have a catalog or are you on the website? If you need assistance using the website I can help you with that as well.”

Customer: “I’m on the website.”

Me: “All right, then instead of looking for a gift code, all you need do is look for the button that says ‘add to c-‘”

Customer: “I know that! What do you think I am, a moron?! I want to order items off the website, over the phone!”

Me: “I can certainly do that for you. Now what weight spiral cut ham is it?”

Customer: “It’s the 20-pound for $35.99.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. The only 20-pound ham we have is for $49.99.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not possible. I’m looking at it!”

Me: “Is it a special offer?”

Customer: “Yes, it is. That’s obviously why I want to order it!”

(The sinking feeling kicks in all the way.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot use the website specials in place of catalog specials. Website specials are for the website only.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me that I cannot get this ham for the price that it is advertised at?! That’s false advertisement!”

Me: “No, ma’am, you can, but you have to order it online. The systems at the call center can only process catalog specials. You can order the product online, just not through the phone.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to order it online. I want to order over the phone!”

(At this point I’m at a loss. My manager has noticed how long the call has taken, and takes a headset to listen into the call.)

Customer: “Here, I have a gift code, like what you asked before. Try that!”

Me: *I try the gift code that she pulled out of thin air* “It says it is void in my system, ma’am. As I’ve explained this is only an Internet offer and—”

Customer: “Can’t you just adjust the price of the ham on your end?! I’ve had people do that for me before!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but all catalog prices are as shown. We cannot adjust the product price.”

Customer: “What the h*** kind of customer service is this?! I want to speak to a manager!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. I’ll call him right over.”

(I mute my mic and take a moment to explain what my manager has missed on the call. My manager un-mutes his mic.)

Manager: “Hello, my name is [Manager], supervisor for [Company]. How may I be of assistance?”

Customer: “Your employee is refusing to give me correct price for a ham!”

(My manager then takes another 10 or so minutes on the phone. Outside of the call, I kind of get to laugh at the trouble the woman gives him. And then on top of THAT, after he re-explains EVERYTHING I have already told the woman, she demands to speak to HIS manager. The MOD manager, a woman I’ve never even seen before, comes on to the floor and takes a mic. She looks bemused.)

MOD Manager: “Hello I am [MOD Manager], [Manager]’s manager. How may I—”

(The woman on the other end immediately sets off on a rant.)

MOD Manager: “Ma’am, this is a business. You’re wasting our time. If you want an online product, order it online. Good-day.”

(The MOD manager doesn’t wait for a reply, just hangs up on the customer and turns to us.)

MOD Manager: “Thanks for the call. I needed a laugh.”