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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Milking The Return Policy

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work at a small local grocery store and our return policy is quite generous, but some people take it too far.)

Me: “Hi, there! How are you today?”

Customer: “Hi, paper bags.”

Me: “Okay. Did you find what you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes.” *pulls out a carton of almond milk* “If my son doesn’t like this can I return it?”

Me: “Well, unless it is unopened or there is something physically wrong with it we can’t accept a return simply because your son doesn’t like it.”

Customer: “Why not? If I buy this and he doesn’t like the taste it’s not my fault, so I should be able to get my money back.”

Me: “Let me get a manager for you, ma’am…”

Can’t Barrel Out Of There

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work as a manager and beer department head at a local liquor store that sells kegs of beer.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I need to order a keg of Corona.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but Corona, unfortunately, doesn’t make kegs.”

Customer: “What’re you talking about? I ordered one last week!”

Me: *trying not to get agitated* “Sir, I’m sorry, but like I said, Corona doesn’t make kegs. It’s impossible for me to get you a keg of Corona.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! The beer guy here got one for me last week!”

Me: “Actually, I run the beer department at this store, and I have for the last few months. I can give you a list of all the kegs we can get you.”

Customer: “QUIT BACK-TALKING ME! I want to see your manager, and I want to see him now!”

Me: “Okay, not a problem.”

(I turn around on the spot, making a 360 turn.)

Me: “Hello, I’m the manager. What can I help you with?”

Customer: *glares at me before walking out in a rage*

Those Kids And Their Googles

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

(The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, circulation desk; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me what temperature I need to cook this turkey at?”

Me: “Ma’am, you realize this is a library, correct?”

Caller: “Yes, but can’t you use that Google thing the kids are talking about?”