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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

In Hot Soup Now

| The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

(I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Refunder Blunder, Part 9

, | Fort Worth, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work in a large county hospital, and a national fast-food franchise has a facility in the hospital food court. I eat there very frequently, and this day I am in line behind a lady who is a family member of a patient. She orders a hamburger combo meal.)

Clerk: “Order #109 ready.”

Customer: “That’s mine! That’s mine!”

(She proceeds to carefully inspect every item in the bag, I guess to make sure she got every last French fry she was entitled to. She pulls out and holds up an apple fried-pie.)

Customer: “I did not order this!”

Clerk: *looking at the receipt* “Oh, no, ma’am, you surely didn’t. I’m sorry. But see, you weren’t charged for it either.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t order it.”

Clerk: “No, ma’am, you didn’t. But you weren’t charged for it either.”

Customer: “But I don’t want it. Take it back and I want a refund.”

Clerk: “Well, we can’t take back food, but it’s ok. Just keep it. Our mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

Customer: “But I didn’t order it and I don’t want it. Take it back.”

Clerk: “Really, it’s okay. Just keep it.”

Customer: “Well, I want a refund for it.”

Clerk: “But you weren’t charged for it. I can’t give you a refund for something you didn’t purchase.”

Customer: “It was in my bag and I didn’t order it.”

Manager: *stepping in* “Yes, ma’am, I understand. We made a mistake, but you weren’t charged for the pie. PLEASE just keep it with our compliments. No problem.”

(The customer slams the pie down on the counter and storms off with the rest of her order, muttering obscenities under her breath.)

Clerk: *looking at me* “Can I help you, Doc?”

Me: “I’d like an apple pie—”

Clerk: “Oh, don’t even start with me…”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 8
Refunder Blunder, Part 7
Refunder Blunder, Part 6

A Dashing Hero

| ME, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I worked at a Chinese restaurant where many people would dine and dash on the owner, who they knew couldn’t catch them due to having bad arthritis in both hands. This happens one day when I have just come into work.)

Old Lady: *comes in with her granddaughter and granddaughter’s best friend*

Me: “Just three, miss?”

Old Lady: “Yes.”

Me: *takes them to a table* “Anything to drink while you decide what you would like?”

Old Lady: “Pepsi.”

Granddaughter: “Sprite.” *giggling*

Me: “We have Sierra Mist. Is that all right?”

Granddaughter: “Yes!” *laughs*

Me: “…and you, miss?”

Granddaughter’s Best Friend: “I’ll have the same.” *smiling in an odd way*

Me: *nods and gets their drinks*

(They take another 10 minutes whispering before they ordered. They take a half hour ordering food which costs over $100.00. By now I’m suspicious.)

Me: *comes out of the other dining area in time to see them leaving without paying* “HEY!”

Granddaughter: *laughing and running*

Me: *grabs her by the upper arm* “Oh, H***, no! You will NOT dine and dash on MY shift, LADY!”

Old Lady: *comes in and hits me with her bag* “LET HER GO, YOU B****.”

Granddaughter: “OWWW! YOU’RE HURTING MEEE!”

Me: “I’m only squeezing enough to hold you! Now, lady! If you don’t stop hitting me, I will call the police!”

(An officer just happens to come in and I know him.)

Officer: “[My Name], are you having trouble?”

Me: “Can I do it just once?”

Old Lady & Granddaughter: *both pale and stop what they were doing*

Officer: *laughs* “Yes.”

Me: *I grab both women and yank them outside where I swing the granddaughter out, and release the old lady* “Your choice.”

(The old lady gave me the money for the bill, and a tip! The officer was laughing and my boss gave me a gift certificate for a free meal for my entire family!)