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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Dying To Get Some Service

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am deathly allergic to strawberries. Ingesting even a tiny trace of strawberry sends me into anaphylactic shock, for which I keep an EpiPen on me. This instance occurs late one evening while I am in the back doing dishes after a late lunch break. Somehow, strawberry must have gotten into my food because I suddenly find my throat closing and my face and chest swelling. I frantically ask my coworker to call 911 before my throat closes all the way and I practically collapse. She injects my EpiPen, and as my airway begins to clear and the panic subsides slightly, I am able to hear an exchange happening through the headset.)

Customer: “…seriously? This ambulance is completely blocking the drive-thru lane. This is ridiculous. How am I going to be able to get out of here? Can I even still get my coffee?! UGH!”

Coworker: *with all the sarcasm she can muster* “Terribly sorry to inconvenience you, ma’am. We have an employee dying in the back room.”

Customer: “What? You’re just saying that!”

Coworker: *fed up* “Sorry, the drive-thru lane is closed right now. If you want coffee you’ll have to come inside.”

Customer: “This is TERRIBLE customer service! I’m NEVER coming back here! Ridiculous!”

(I hope she never does come back! Glad your coffee was more important than my LIFE, lady!)

In Hot Soup Now

| The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

(I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Refunder Blunder, Part 9

, | Fort Worth, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work in a large county hospital, and a national fast-food franchise has a facility in the hospital food court. I eat there very frequently, and this day I am in line behind a lady who is a family member of a patient. She orders a hamburger combo meal.)

Clerk: “Order #109 ready.”

Customer: “That’s mine! That’s mine!”

(She proceeds to carefully inspect every item in the bag, I guess to make sure she got every last French fry she was entitled to. She pulls out and holds up an apple fried-pie.)

Customer: “I did not order this!”

Clerk: *looking at the receipt* “Oh, no, ma’am, you surely didn’t. I’m sorry. But see, you weren’t charged for it either.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t order it.”

Clerk: “No, ma’am, you didn’t. But you weren’t charged for it either.”

Customer: “But I don’t want it. Take it back and I want a refund.”

Clerk: “Well, we can’t take back food, but it’s ok. Just keep it. Our mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

Customer: “But I didn’t order it and I don’t want it. Take it back.”

Clerk: “Really, it’s okay. Just keep it.”

Customer: “Well, I want a refund for it.”

Clerk: “But you weren’t charged for it. I can’t give you a refund for something you didn’t purchase.”

Customer: “It was in my bag and I didn’t order it.”

Manager: *stepping in* “Yes, ma’am, I understand. We made a mistake, but you weren’t charged for the pie. PLEASE just keep it with our compliments. No problem.”

(The customer slams the pie down on the counter and storms off with the rest of her order, muttering obscenities under her breath.)

Clerk: *looking at me* “Can I help you, Doc?”

Me: “I’d like an apple pie—”

Clerk: “Oh, don’t even start with me…”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 8
Refunder Blunder, Part 7
Refunder Blunder, Part 6