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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Playing (Hunger) Games With Your Orders

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I work at a coffee shop on my university campus. This happens way more often than it should, especially if my friends drop by when I’m working:)

Me: “All right, one regular soy mocha latte. Can I get a name for the order?”

Customer: “Primrose Everdeen.”

(A few minutes later:)

Coworker: “Okay, regular soy mocha latte for…” *he reads the name on the cup* “…aww, Christ. Primrose Everdeen?

Customer’s Friend: *at the top of her lungs* “I VOLUNTEER!”

Coworker: “You guys realise that stopped being funny last year, right?”

And To Top It All Off…

| ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a pizzeria as a take-out girl, meaning I take phone calls for customers and input what they want into the computer. I’m in the middle of an order.)

Customer: “I’d like two extra large pizzas, one with pepperoni and cheese, and one with pepperoni, cheese, onions and bacon.”

Me: “Okay! That’ll be [price].”

(We don’t count cheese as a topping you have to pay for unless you get double cheese… so two toppings and cheese is the standard price on the menu and anything after that is extra.)

Customer: “No! You charged it wrong. It should be [standard price].”

Me: “Well… you got three items on the second pizza… and—”

Customer: “and… I only got one topping on the first one! I should get [standard price]!”

Me: “It doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “It should! Get me you manager!”

Me: “All right…”

(I put my manager on the phone, after five minutes of explaining he hangs up.)

Me: “How’d it go, [Manager]?”

Manager: “Well… apparently we’re all stupid scam artists who make terrible pizza… She said to either give her the price or hang up. Guess which I picked?”

Don’t Drink And Dial And Deliver

| BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Money

(In this story, I’m the unreasonable customer. I had just come back from a bar with my friends, and we are all drunk & craving Chinese food. It’s rather late, but we REALLY wanted some Chinese food, so I call up a nearby restaurant.)

Owner: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’d like to place an order for delivery, please.”

Owner: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed. I’m afraid we’re unable to fulfill orders anymore.”

Me: “Aw, man, really? When did you close?”

Owner: “We actually closed just a few minutes ago.”

Me: “It’s only been a few minutes, right? You couldn’t possibly have started cleaning up already, right? Can’t you do one more order?”

Owner: “I’m sorry sir, but even though the kitchen is still technically open, I still need to send my delivery boy home, as his shift is already over.”

Me: “Is he still there? If he is, tell him that I’ll pay him $50 extra.”

Owner: “One moment, please.”

(The owner puts down his phone and I hear some talking in the background.)

Owner: “All right, he says he’ll do it. May I take your order, sir?”

(I place my order and wait patiently for my food. 20 minutes later, a car pulls up to my driveway. The delivery boy gets out of his car, and walks up to my door with my order.)

Me: “Hi! I’m really sorry for doing this to you, but we’re all drunk as s*** here and the alcohol’s making us want Chinese food.”

Delivery Boy: “It’s okay. You got that $50?”

Me: “H*** yeah, I do!”

Delivery Boy: “Then all is forgiven.”

(I gave him a $50 bill, and I paid for the food on debit. I would later learn that this was very poor judgment on my part, because in my drunken stupor, I ended up choosing the tip option on the debit machine. So not only did I give this poor guy $50, I also gave him a 30% tip on a $90 order. I may have been a dick, but I certainly hope the delivery boy had a good night! Always drink responsibly. Seriously, it may cost you.)