Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Mom’s Attitude Floored You

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A small boy, aged about six or seven, and his mother approach the counter.)

Mother: “What cake would you like?”

Boy: “That one.” *points to the last chocolate éclair in the shop*

(As I am taking it out of the display, I drop it on the floor.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. That was the last one we had.”

Mother: “Oh, don’t worry. We’ll take it anyway.”

Me: “I really can’t sell it to you; it’s been on the floor. I’m sorry.”

Boy: *excited* “Wait. Mum, you’re going to let me eat something that’s been on the floor? Really? Oh, wow, that’s great. Thanks, Mum! Wow!”

Mother: “I don’t usually let him…”

(I just gave them the cake.)

Both Brains Were Fried

| Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(In this case, both the cashier AND I were idiots. I’m a product demonstrator buying supplies for my next demo: 12 bags of French fries. I get to my car and realize the cashier only charged me for 10. So I go back in and explain the problem.)

Cashier: Thank you so much! I’d have been in so much trouble.”

Me: *feeling sheepish, I brought the receipt but NOT the un-scanned bags back in* “Should I go get them to scan again?”

Cashier: “Nah, just grab two more from the cooler. I’ll scan those and charge you for them.”

(I run and get them. I get back and she’s explaining to the entire line what a tool she is and how grateful she is to me for my honesty. As such, she’s working distracted and on autopilot… It’s 10 pm and I’ve had a long day myself, so I’m not precisely paying attention either.)

Cashier: *scans bags* “Okay, that’ll be $4.99.”

(She automatically bags them and hands me the bag. I automatically take them, say thank you, and leave.)

Me: *10 minutes later at home, un-bagging groceries into my freezer* “Oh, lord! Now I’ve paid for 12 and have 14!”

Reached Your Tea Total, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “I want a full-leaf brewed tea.”

Me: “Okay, which one?”

Customer: “The full leaf one.”

Me: “We have a few different kinds, sir. We have mint, chai, English breakfast, zen, Earl Grey, China green tips, and passion tea. Which one did you want?”

Customer: “Which one is closest to mint?”

Me: “The mint.”

Customer: “No, besides that one.”

Me: “…The zen? I guess?”

Customer: “What does that one taste like?”

Me: “…Mint.”

Customer: “How much coffee is in it?”

Related:
Reached Your Tea Total

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Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

| AB, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A lady orders a blueberry pineapple margarita and I bring it out. A little while later I notice her giving it to her husband and not drinking it.)

Me: “Is everything okay with the margarita?”

Lady: “Oh, yes. I am just allergic to pineapples but wanted to try it.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Lady: “Oh yeah, it will just turn my face red.” *laughs* “It is already.”

(Sure enough her face developed a rash. She ordered and paid for a drink she knew she was allergic to!)

Related
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
Allergic To Common Sense

Not A Grain Of Sense

| DE, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(An obviously drunk customer wanders into my fragrance shop in the local farmers’ market.)

Customer: “Do you sell grain alcohol in here?”

Me: “No, sir, but there is a liquor store and a pharmacy across the street.”

Customer: “Does anyone sell grain alcohol in here?”

Me: “No, sir. It is only legal to sell that product in drugstores or liquor stores in this state.”

(I’m trying hard to convince myself that the man needs it for his child’s science experiment, or to fuel a bottle rocket. He is peering woozily at my shelves full of fragrances for men and women.)

Customer: “Can you drink any of this stuff?”

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