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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Not So (Do)Nuts About Burgers

| Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a burger place, next to a coffee and doughnut shop. Occasionally we get people in drive-thru that get the places mixed up, but both drive-thrus are close to each other, A customer walks in, past three big pictures of hamburgers, and the restaurant name is posted several times.)

Customer: *looking at the menu* “Can I get an iced capp, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have those.”

Customer: “Oh. The machine’s broken?”

Me: “No. We’ve never had them.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I had one last week.”

Me: “No. None of the [Restaurant] have ever had them.”

Customer: *looks around* “Oh. This isn’t [Donut Shop]. You should have told me.”

Me: “I assumed with the pictures of hamburgers all over, and lack of donuts you knew where you where.”

Customer: *looks around again, and leaves embarrassed*

Losing Brownie Points

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m working at the register when a lady storms in with a bag of food.)

Customer: “I just got this food here and it’s cold and awful! I can’t believe you sold it to me! This is gross!”

Me: “Oh, I apologize. May I have the bag?”

(When I open it, I find a box of chicken nuggets, a container of fries, and a brownie. This catches my attention because we did sell brownies – but only up until about three months prior to this encounter. I have no idea how she would have one of our brownies, but I know she definitely didn’t get one that day! My manager is right next to me, so I tilt the bag towards her.)

Me: “[Manager], this customer says she got this food from us just now, and it’s not good.”

Manager: *catches sight of brownie and raises an eyebrow* “Ma’am, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No! But I just got this! You need to replace it!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I apologize for the inconvenience, but we have not sold brownies for months. There is no way you received this today.”

Customer: “Yes, I did! I demand you give me fresh food!”

Manager: “I can’t do that, ma’am. However, I can take down your information and pass it on to our operator. He may be able to do something for you.”

(The customer tried again, but my manager was insistent, and the lady finally gave in and left. When we put her information in the system, we found five other complaints from her in the past month, all about cold food! I’m just still confused as to how she could possibly have had the brownie… Did she forget a bag of food under her car seat or something?)

Enough To Make You Almost Pop Your Corn

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a movie theater. We are offering a special promotional coupon where customers can buy a large popcorn and drink combo, and get a second large drink for free. I am approached by an elderly couple.)

Husband: *handing me a coupon for the promotional deal* “I want two!”

Me: “All right, sir. Just to double-check, did you mean you wanted two combos, or the single combo with two drinks?”

Husband: *scoffs* “Do I stutter, kid? We want two of these combos!”

Me: “…Okay. What would you like for your four drinks?”

Wife: “Four drinks?! We only want one, you idiot!”

Me: “I apologize; I thought you wanted two of the combos.”

Husband: “We do!”

Me: “Two combos would mean you’d end up with four drinks… Each combo comes with one large popcorn and two large drinks.”

Wife: “But we only want one!”

Me: “Okay.”

Husband: “Yeah… two combos!”

Me: “I’m really not understanding… How many combos do you want?”

Husband: “Two combos!”

Me: “So, what would you like for the four drinks that come with the two combos?”

Wife: “Where are you getting four drinks from?! Just the two combos! What are you, dense?!”

Husband: “Stop wasting my time, you stupid idiot!”

Wife: “We want one!”

Me: “…So, you just want the one combo with the two drinks?”

Husband: “TWO COMBOS!”

Wife: “With the one!”

Husband: “Exactly, two combos!”

Me: *by this point, I’m just assuming they mean they want one combo with two drinks* “Okay… what would you like to drink?”

Wife: “I want one Coke!”

Me: “And what else?”

(Neither one answer for almost a full 30 seconds.)

Me: “Sir, what other soda would you like?”

(Neither answers for another 10 seconds.)

Husband: *suddenly* “Why aren’t you getting our two combos?!”

Me: “Sir, I need to know what else you’d like to drink.”

Husband: “MY WIFE WANTS COKE!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I get a large popcorn and large coke and bring them to the couple.)

Husband: “Where’s our second soda combo?!”

Me: “Sir, you only told me one drink.”

Husband: “But we got two combos!”

Me: “SIR. I. Need. To. Know. What. You. Want. Before. I. Can. Get. It. For. You. You only told me one soda.”

Husband: “Two f****** combos!”

(This back and forth continues for another 30 seconds, before I just decide to get them another large Coke to get it over with.)

Me: “That will be $14.”

Husband: “Is this two combos?”

Me: *lying to get the transaction done* “…Sure.”

Husband: “Fine. Took you long enough. Now, where’s our free soda?”

Me: “It’s right here, sir. I just gave it to you.”

Husband: “Oh.”

Me: “So, that’ll be $14.”

Husband: “But this is supposed to be special coupon! Why does it cost so much?”

Me: “Our popcorn and soda combo is $14. We gave you the second soda for free, as per the coupon. Without the coupon, the order would’ve been $19.”

Husband: “…Well, that’s too much. This only should cost me a few dollars!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. We need to have prices that high for the theater to make any money. We don’t get to keep much, if any, of ticket sales.”

Husband: *throws his credit card at me* “Fine!”

(I complete the transaction and they finally leave. Immediately after, a 20-something approaches me.)

New Customer: “…You know, I looked up how much it costs theaters to make popcorn. Popcorn should really only cost customers—”

Me: *interrupting* “Trust me… Today is NOT the day to complain to me about prices. Did you see that exchange that just happened with the couple who was just here?”

New Customer: “Yeah?”

Me: “That’s unfortunately not the first time something that prolonged and stupid that has happened to me today… not even the first time this hour. In fact, not even the first time in the past 10 minutes.”

New Customer: “…Oh.”

Me: “So if you’re only here to complain and not to buy something… please leave my line.”

(He left after seeing just how serious I was.)