Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Their IQ Is Below Zero

| Portsmouth, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(Whilst taking a customer’s cocktail order on a Friday night:)

Customer: “Is your ice fresh or frozen?”

Not Like A Kid In A Candy Store

| Lafayette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(The candy store I work in is located in the mall, so it’s pretty common to hear young children excitedly realizing that there’s a candy store. Today is really no different, so I simply chuckle when I hear a young boy start shouting.)

Boy: “Look! It’s the candy store! Candy store!”

(However, what he says next is a bit unusual.)

Boy: “And it’s all free, too!”

(Shocked, I rush to intercept the boy before he can actually get into the store, as we have bins right by the door which are easy for children to get into.)

Boy: “Free candy! Free candy! Free candy!”

Me: *alarmed* “Nothing is free! Nothing is free!

(The boy freezes in his tracks, just barely inside the store, and stares at me as though I’d just told him he was never getting another birthday present for the rest of his life.)

Boy: *betrayed* “NONE of it?!”

Me: “None of it!”

(He stared at me for a moment, then turned around and slowly trudged off. I’m just glad I was able to stop him!)

A Chain Reaction

, | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

(I stop at a regional fast food chain restaurant for dinner. As I pay, I accidentally pull out a credit card for a big box chain, but realize my mistake and switch cards before swiping. The cashier talks to someone in the drive-through…)

Cashier: “Welcome to [Big Box Chain]. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

(I’m not sure I heard that right, but then…)

Kitchen Worker: “Uh, [Cashier], you realize this is [Fast Food Chain] and not [Big Box Chain].”

Me: *loud enough they can hear me in the kitchen* “It’s my fault; I took out my [Fast Food Chain] card and he…” *trail off as I realize* “…now I’m doing it.”

His Name Is Olaf And He Likes Hot Cheeseburgers

| AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am a male and take chats from the website of a large North American cable company.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company] sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Yes, [My Name], it’s Olaf!”

Me: “Hello, Olaf! How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “I need Internet, and I have a few questions. One: which service is best for gaming. Two: how much is a rental modem, and do you like cheeseburgers?”

Me: “Well, Olaf, that would be [Product], that modem is $3.99 per month, and I love cheeseburgers! Now, let’s get this ordered. I’ll be on with you to make sure all goes well!”

(The customer goes through the order without interruption, and an order number populates my screen.)

Me: “I see that order is [number]! Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

Customer: “Well, [My Name], that was easy! I have to say, my name really isn’t Olaf. It’s too bad I’m married, because I think I have a crush on you.”

Me: “Ha ha ha, And I, you, Not-Olaf!”

Customer: “If only this did not have to end.”

Me: “Alas, Not-Olaf all things come to an end. So I must ask: is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “D***, I knew you would say that! But I guess I’ve bothered you enough. Goodbye, sexy.”

Me: “Bye Not-Olaf! This made my day!”

(Customer closes chat.)

A Lack Of Branding Understanding, Part 2

| Escondido, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(A couple is ordering at the concessions stand.)

Customer: “I’ll have a medium Coke.”

(I get the rest of the order ready and then hand her the Coke.)

Customer: “No, I don’t want Coke, I want root beer.”

Customer’s Husband: “You said Coke.”

Customer: *sighs* “But I didn’t mean Coke. By ‘Coke’ I meant ‘soda!’ She didn’t ask me what kind of soda I wanted!”

A Lack Of Branding Understanding

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