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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Nut A Good Idea

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working the register at a sandwich shop.)

Customer: *completely earnest* “I have a question about your cookies. I see here there are some labeled “White Chip Macadamia Nut.” Does that mean there are white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts?”

Me: “I… uh… yes.”

Customer: “So then I can’t give them to my son with a nut allergy, right?”

Me: “That would be a bad idea, yes.”

Customer: “All right, let me have one of those for me and one chocolate chip for my son.”

Me: “I don’t think that would be a good idea, ma’am.”

Customer: *getting irritated* “Well, why not? Do the chocolate chip cookies have nuts in them?”

Me: “Well, no, but they do come into contact with nuts in several places. Like when we’re baking them, or when we use the same tongs to grab them. Or the display case in front of you where the chocolate chip cookies are touching the macadamia nut cookies…”

Customer: “Fine, then, I won’t get him any cookies. Just give me my sandwiches and two small drinks.”

Me: “Uh… I’m afraid I can’t do that either.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not? I paid you didn’t I?!”

Me: “Um… you haven’t ordered a sandwich yet.”

(Luckily my manager came back from break and we were able to sort everything out before it escalated.)

Cheerily Getting Her Way

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A man comes shopping with his adorable five year old daughter, and this happens as I’m serving him. Note: For those who don’t know, “cheerios” is a common name for cocktail frankfurts, which kids love.)

Customer: “I’ll have 250g of that ham, please.”

(The whole time I’m weighing and wrapping, his daughter is trying to get his attention.)

Daughter: “Daaad. Dad. Cheerios, dad. Daaaaad…”

Me: *hands over item* “Anything else?”

Daughter: “Cheerios?”

Customer: *smiling but still ignoring her* “Also a half kilo of chicken thighs.”

Daughter: *hands on hips, looking at her father, but it was clear that she wanted me to hear her words* “Daddy, did you say CHEERIOS?”

Me: *as I weigh and wrap* “She has the most adorable little attitude. Anything else?”

Customer: “And a half kilo of cheerios… I’m going to have to watch out for her when she’s older, she’s too cute to say no to!”

Me: “I think she knows it, too!”

(The girl took the cheerios from me with a smug grin.)

Common Sense Just Melts Away, Part 2

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A customer comes angrily up to the counter with his burger.)

Customer: “Look at this. This is unacceptable. The cheese isn’t even melted!”

(The manager on duty happens to be currently working one of the registers.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We can’t actually melt the cheese, since our burgers are flame-broiled; we just stick it on the burger at the end. After it sits for about 30 seconds, it melts itself.”

Customer: *louder and more agitated* “This is ridiculous! You call this customer service? You’re no better than [much cheaper competitor]! When I order a cheeseburger I expect my cheese melted!”

Manager: “Like I said, we have no way of doing that, but if you let it sit for about 30 seconds, it should melt right on. Would you like me to get you a new burger?”

Customer: *loud enough by this point that everyone is staring* “What’s the point? You’re not going to make that one any better! This is the worst burger I’ve ever seen!”

Manager: “Would you like a refund?”

Customer: “NO! I am NEVER coming here again!”

(He THROWS his cheeseburger across the counter at the manager and storms out.)

Manager: “Good! We don’t need your business!”

(The man stormed out, and all the employees and everyone in line started laughing. The best part was that we looked at the burger, and the cheese was melted just fine.)

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Common Sense Just Melts Away