Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 9

, | USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am in high school. I work at a fast food restaurant. Part of the uniform includes a hat or visor. On this day I am taking orders at the front register. I am handing back change to an older male customer who has been normal so far.)

Me: “Okay, sir, here is your change and your order will be ready in a sec.”

(I then go to take the next customer’s order when the older man grabs the brim of my hat and looks me directly in the eyes.)

Older Man: “Oh, I thought you had brown eyes.”

(A coworker then places his food on the tray and the man walks away without another word.)

Next Customer: “I promise I won’t touch you. I just want a burger.”

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 8
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 6

Another Way To Water The Plants

| TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(My dad is the customer in this one. He strongly dislikes lemon in water, which of course is a standard way of serving it in many restaurants. He’s noted that if he just says, “No lemon, please,” it often shows up with lemon anyway — servers are human, and it’s easy to forget a request and do it your standard way. He could just take it out, but he feels that it makes the water bitter, so rather than be THAT guy and insist on a new glass when this happens, he’s come up with a way to make the request memorable and thereby end up with un-lemoned water in the first place. I have to admit that it almost always works, and often gets a grin, but one young lady turned the tables on him.)

Me: “I’ll have a [Diet Soda].”

Dad: “I’ll have water, with no fruits and no vegetables in it.”

(A couple minutes later, back comes our waitress, with my soda, and a glass of water … with a big ol’ stalk of broccoli stuck in it! She puts the drinks down, just like this is completely normal, starts to turn away, and then stops and snaps her fingers.)

Waitress: “Oh, that’s right! You were the one who wanted no vegetables!”

(And then while we were dying laughing, she took it away and brought the fruit-and-veggie-free water originally asked for. Definitely the best response ever to his little shtick.)

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Your Day Needs A Refill

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hello, I didn’t like this drink. It was made wrong.”

Me: “Oh. sure. What did you order and what didn’t you like about it?”

Customer: “I bought this hot chocolate yesterday. I finished it and it just didn’t taste very good and I’d like a free refill.”

Me: “So… you want a free refill? On a drink you didn’t like and bought over 24 hours ago?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…No.”

Fractional Intelligence, Part 3

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I work in the call center for the complaint line of a fast food restaurant chain.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I just bought one of your burgers. The 1/3 lb burger. That’s your big burger, right?”

Me: “Well, we have 1/4 lb, 1/3 lb, and 1/2 lb burgers.”

Guest: “Right. But I got the 1/3 lb burger. That’s the biggest one, right?”

Me: “Um, no ma’am, the 1/2 lb is burger than the 1/3 lb.”

Guest: “Really? Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. 1/2 is bigger than 1/3.”

Guest: “Huh. Never mind, then.”

(Guest hangs up.)

Me: *to coworker* “Wow. Another child left behind…”

Related:
Fractional Intelligence, Part 2
Fractional Intelligence

Taxing Faxing, Part 15

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Technology

(Callers place orders for a certain drinkable product. They can also call in to track their orders. One such customer places her order and calls back a few days later to see where her package is.)

Me: “I’m showing it was delivered via UPS this afternoon.”

Caller: “It was MAILED?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “Why wasn’t it faxed? You all did this every other time! I want a refund, now! I have a dinner party and I am so embarrassed! I bragged on this and you failed horribly!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t able to fax this order, I am sorry. We can send a new order out if needed but it won’t arrive until day after tomorrow at the earliest. Have you checked everywhere, or asked your neighbors?”

Caller: “I don’t need to! It’s not my fault you all are incompetent morons… Oh! I’m pulling up to my house now, and I see it! Still refund me, as I have a headache from this call!” *click*

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 14
Taxing Faxing, Part 13
Taxing Faxing, Part 12

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