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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

(Two Can) Play At That Game

| Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(This guy comes in roughly every other day, and buys one can of cat food at a time.)

Customer: “Do you have any more [Brand] cat food?”

Me: “There’s none on the shelf?”

Customer: “No, I just want the new ones.”

(I look at the delivery that just came in, and see the cans he want are on the very BOTTOM of a stack of about 15 cases.)

Me: “I am NOT moving all of those cases for one can.”

Customer: “Fine, I’ll buy four.”

(I move all the cases, causing a landslide in the process.)

Customer: “Never mind, I’ll just get two cans.”

Going To Get Charged With Nine Months

| CT, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in this small grocery store and we don’t get many customers until one day…)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, could you help me with my stuff.”

(The lady has a large stomach.)

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

(I help her, but she slips a bit and I see a watermelon sticking out a bit from her shirt.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to remove the watermelon from your shirt.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DISRESPECTFUL B****?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PREGNANT?!”

Me: “I can see it slipping from your shirt…”

(At this point the customer started running away, but fell over herself. The watermelon splattered everywhere and she kept screaming MY BABY! MY POOR BABY! but realized it was useless and she was caught. That really made my day.)

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Twice The Cheese, Double The Effort

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(I used to work at a small sandwich shop at which the manager and I were the only daytime employees. Our franchise serves shredded cheese on sandwiches, and customers often try to get us to put extra cheese on, since it’s more difficult to gauge the proper amount. The following happens during our regular lunch rush, as my manager and I are running back and forth, ringing people through and making their sandwiches.)

Me: “And what kind of cheese would you like?”

Customer #1: “Shredded.”

(I measure out the proper amount with our scoop and put it on his sandwich.)

Customer #1: “No, put more than that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is our standardized amount. If you want more, you’ll have to pay for extra cheese.”

Customer #1: “No, you didn’t put enough on. You need more than that.”

(My manager has just finished ringing someone through and comes over.)

Manager: “No, sir, I saw her measure it out. That is the standardized amount for a footlong sandwich.”

Customer #1: “No. I need more cheese than that!”

(This goes back and forth for a minute as I get to work on the next customer’s order, and finally my manager puts a full extra serving of cheese on.)

Manager: “So that will be [amount] extra when you get to the till, then.”

Customer #1: *mutters* “Well, put more than that on, then.”

(My manager ignores him, and I finish making his sandwich and start punching it into the till.)

Customer #1: “And I’m not paying for extra cheese.”

Manager: “I gave you double cheese. Are you saying you would like me to give you free food?”

Customer #1: “You didn’t put double cheese! You put a tiny bit extra.”

Manager: “No. You received the regular, doubled, amount. Are you going to pay for it?”

Customer #1: “No! You should have put more! I won’t pay for extra cheese.” *smiling smugly* “So, how much is it without extra?”

(My manager raised her eyebrows at him, canceled the order, threw the sandwich in the garbage, and went back to help the next customer in line. He stood there speechless until the other customers started applauding. Then his face turned red and he stormed out, muttering that we lost “$30.00.” His sandwich was only worth about $8.00, even with the extra cheese.)

Thinks She’s The Big Cheese

| Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I used to work for a large franchise, but at a small location at which we stopped serving shredded cheese on sandwiches for a while. During this period, a woman comes in with her two preteen sons, and everything is just fine until we get to the cheese.)

Me: “And what kind of cheese would you like?”

Customer: “Shredded, please.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t serve shredded on sandwiches.”

Customer: “What? But I always have shredded.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the shredded cheese is more expensive than the regular, and since we’re a small location, we need to save it to season our cheese bread.”

(The customer is getting visibly angry now.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’ve walked out of stores without shredded cheese before! I’m a paying customer! You’re supposed to give me what I want!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to serve shredded cheese. If you like, I can give you [two kinds of our regular cheese that are in the shredded cheese]. It’s basically the same thing, it just won’t be shredded.”

Customer: “I CAN’T believe this. How hard is it to shred cheese?! I’ve walked out of stores before!”

Me: “The cheese comes pre-shredded or pre-cut. I have no possible way of shredding the cheese here.”

Customer: “I am a paying customer! That other cheese tastes like plastic! I should speak to your manager about this! I’m paying and I should get what I want!”

(Suddenly, one of the customer’s sons, who has been looking increasingly uncomfortable, speaks up:)

Customer’s Son: “Mom. It’s just CHEESE.”

Customer: “I know but as a paying customer I should be getting what I want!”

(She didn’t walk out, but she kept repeating that she was a “paying customer” through the whole transaction. Her poor sons looked like they wished the ground would swallow them up.)

Giving You A (Prison) Break

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

Customer #1: “Thank God, this line is taking forever.”

(There is no line at all, although the tables are mostly occupied.)

Me: “Sorry about the wait, sir. May I take your order?”

(The customer proceeds to rattle off a long, confusing, and often contradictory order, including such things as a meatless ham sandwich.)

Me: “Sir, I’m a little confused by your order. Do you mean—”

Customer #1: “—oh for God’s sake, I have to repeat myself now? Weren’t you paying attention the first time?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t want to get anything wrong. You made a big order, and—”

Customer #1: *sighs* “I’ll repeat myself, but just this once. I hate dealing with lazy ignorant dropouts like you.”

(He repeats his order, but I understand it even less because I am trying not to cry. He finishes speaking and snaps his fingers at me.)

Customer #1: “Hello?! Punch it in, you dumb b****. I haven’t got all day, and—”

(Suddenly one of the other customers; a strongly-built man who has been quietly sitting at a nearby table, roars and leaps to his feet, flipping the table and spilling his coffee in the process.)

Customer #2: “GOD-D*** IT! ONE DAY OUT OF PRISON, AND ALREADY I HAVE TO MURDER AN IDIOT IN A COFFEE STORE!”

(The rude customer shrieks and flees from the store. I and the remaining customers stare at the man, who quietly picks up the table and comes over to the counter.)

Customer #2: “I’ll pay for any damage. If you could show me where the mops are, I’ll take care of the mess too.”

Me: “I-I-I, um…”

Customer #2: “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. There’s always gonna be an a** like that around.”

Me: “Uh, you, um…”

Customer #2: “Oh, the prison thing?” *laughs* “Never been in jail in my life. So, anyway, where’s that mop?”

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