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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Drinking The Tears Of Sadness

| UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work behind the bar at a concert of a [popular band]. It’s a big event, but the bar isn’t as busy as we feared, just a bit understocked. Towards the end of the show, Customer #1 comes asking for a drink.)

Me: “No problem. Will that be everything for you?”

Customer#1: “Yes, thank you. Do you accept card?”

Me: “Sorry, not tonight. But there is a cash machine outside the hall, just by the entrance.”

Customer#1: “Okay, then. I’ll go get the cash and you get that drink poured in the meantime.”

(She goes off to the lobby, so I turn to serve another person.)

Customer #2: “Hiya, I’ll have [the same drink as Customer #1].”

Me: “Sure, let me just get it for you.”

(I notice that it’s our last can of that particular beverage. After I’ve served it, Customer #1 comes back.)

Me: “Hello again. I’m terribly sorry, but it looks like we’ve just run out of [drink]. I apologize for the misinformation. Perhaps I can offer you a different drink?”

(The [popular band] starts playing another song. Customer #1 is silent for a moment or two and then she bursts into tears, unable to say a word, just standing there and trying to get herself together.)

Me: “Are you all right, ma’am?”

Customer#1: “Yes, just…” *keeps crying*

Me: “…Are you sure?”

Customer#1: *in tears* “It’s okay. Just a [different drink], please. Oh, my goodness.”

(By this point I wasn’t sure whether it was the drink, the song, or something else entirely that caused that outburst. She didn’t say another word, paid quietly, and left without her change, leaving me a generous tip. I’m confused to this day.)

Overly Loud Trash Talking

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(It’s my girlfriend’s 21st birthday, so to celebrate I’ve taken her to a very expensive dinner. Part way into our meal two women who are very obviously drunk are seated next to us. The meal has ten courses, each with its own alcoholic accompaniment, and despite complaints from other customers about how loud and obnoxious the women have been the wait-staff are not allowed to stop serving them.)

Me: *to our server* “Is there any way you could at least water down their drinks? I can’t even hear [Girlfriend] from across the table!”

Server: “I’m really sorry; we aren’t allowed to say anything. I’ve already apologized to the other guests. Since you’re a guest you can say something if you want.”

(15 minutes later, after the women have finished bickering loudly about one of their exes and throwing their unfinished plates to the end of the table one of their cell phones goes off.)

Drunk Woman #1: “OH, MY GOD! YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IT! YOU’RE BEING RUDE!”

Me: *after finally having enough* “YOU ARE IN A $200 DOLLAR A PLATE RESTAURANT. IF YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE TRASH GO TO A TRASHY FAST FOOD PLACE!”

Drunk Woman #2: “Trash? Did she just call me trash?!”

(A manager rushes over to their table:)

Manager: “Ladies I’m sorry, but since you have done nothing but cause a disturbance since you arrived I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Drunk Woman #1: “We didn’t cause a disturbance. That fat b**** over there yelled at us for no reason! My father is going to deal with you!”

Manager: “Unfortunately, you need to leave.”

Drunk Woman #2: “OH, MY GOD! WE DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING! WE’RE NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!”

(After they left the manager came over and offered us both a complimentary cocktail and a thank you!)

Don’t Be Too Over-Beer-ing

| Helena, MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(It’s a cold night, and the bar is pretty empty as people have been advised to stay inside. One customer is at the bar, and it appears he’s been there for some time.)

Customer: “I’ll take a scotch, a beer, and a shot of gin!”

Bartender: “Um… how about we just start with the beer?”

Customer: “How about you start to shut up?”

Bartender: “If you can’t act straight, you ain’t gettin’ served.”

Customer: “Start with the beer.”

Bartender: “Okay, thank you, sir.”