Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Couldn’t Really Blame Him For Frying

| NY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m at a public pool that has pretty lenient employees at the “Snack Shack.” It should be noted that at the Shack, the customer pays BEFORE receiving their food.)

Employee: “Fries are ready!”

Little Boy: “My dad ordered those.” *takes fries and runs away*

(A few minutes later…)

Man: “Hi, I ordered my fries a while ago. Are they ready yet?”

Employee: “Uh, yeah. Your son just came by and already took them.”

Man: “What? I don’t have a son…”

Employee: *widens eyes* “Wait… What? That little lucky punk! He stole— argh. Sorry, I’ll get you your fries. Ugh…”

Something Fishy Going On Here

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in a sandwich shop. It is just my boss and me in the shop when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi. Could I please have a medium tuna sandwich, please?”

Me: “Tuna fish? All right.”

Customer: “Wait, it’s tuna FISH?”

(Thinking she thought I meant simply slabs of fish, I explained what our product was.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t mean just pieces of fish. It’s tuna salad – albacore tuna fish mixed with mayonnaise and celery.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it’s still fish, and I hate fish. Why don’t you sub shops just have tuna? Why is it always tuna fish everywhere I go?”

(My boss had to make the woman’s sandwich, because I couldn’t fathom what was going on.)

You Say Potato, I Say Catholic

| NC, USA | Food & Drink, Religion

(My grandmother and I are serving food at an outdoor event. I have cooked mashed potatoes.)

Customer: “These potatoes are fantastic! I’ve had three servings.”

Me: “Well, thank you!”

Customer: “You must be from the First Baptist Church, because all of the best cooks are Baptist, you know.”

Me: “Actually, I’m not.”

Customer: “Oh, I guess you must be a Methodist then. Methodist women always did have a way with potatoes.”

Me: “No, I’m actually a Catholic.”

Customer: “Well, where the h*** did you come from?”

That Comment Contains Many Holes

| Huntsville, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I have gone to pick up junk food for the house, when a customer in line behind me notices the chocolate bars I’ve selected. They are a brand that leaves tiny air bubbles inside the chocolate.)

Customer: “Oh! I just love those!”

Me: “Heh, yeah. They’re a favorite in the household.”

Customer: “I love them because they took all the calories out!”

Me: “The orange ones are the best, I— Wait, what?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t you know? Those holes are where the calories used to be!”

Easy To Label The Problem Customers

, | Erie, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(Instead of repeatedly having to tell customers prices, we have case tags with the name and price listed in front of each product. A customer walks up and I go up to the counter to greet him.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hello. I would like a half pound of this bologna.”

(He walks over to the case that has several different kinds of bologna in it. The case tags are clearly labeled in front of each product. I politely ask again which product he wanted.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, which one did you want? We have [Name Brand #1], [Name Brand #2], and [Name Brand #3].”

Customer: “This one.”

Me: “Sir, I can not see which one you’re pointing to.”

(The man starts to glare at me. He points once again.)

Customer: “THIS… ONE…”

(Finally giving up on the hope he’ll actually say brand of bologna he wants, I walk around the counter to the front.)

Me: “I apologize. Which one did you want?”

(Without speaking, he points to the bologna he wanted.)

Me: “Oh, the [Brand Name] beef bologna.”

Customer: “YES! I’ve been pointing to THAT one.”

(I slice the desired amount of meat for the gentleman and thank him for shopping with us. My coworker then walks up to me.)

Coworker: “That’s okay… I had someone completely ignore the label and ask for the white circle cheese.”