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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

We All Scream For The Wrong Ice Cream

| NE, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I’m stocking product in an aisle while two older gentlemen are browsing through it. One is practically shouting into his phone.)

Customer #1: *on phone* “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CHIPOLLETA ICE CREAM?”

Customer #2: “GELATO!”

Customer #1: *on phone* “GELATO ICE CREAM?”

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 4

| NSW, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I clean houses for a living. This particular client was a little old lady wanting a once off spring clean.)

Lady: “Would you like a tea or coffee?”

Me: “No thank you, but I will take a glass of water if you are offering.”

Lady: “Sure! I will be right back.”

(She comes back with a glass of water and a slice of cake.)

Lady: “Would you like some cake? It’s really nice!”

Me: *eyeing it off* “Does it have gluten in it?”

Lady: “Oh, no! I don’t put any in my cakes. Try it; it’s really quite nice.”

Me: *not entirely convinced* “Did you put flour in it?”

Lady: “Of course I did… It’s a cake.”

Me: *sighing* “Flour has wheat in it; therefore it has gluten in it. I’m gluten intolerant, sorry.”

Lady: “Are you sure?! It’s really very nice.”

Me: “I’m sure it’s quite lovely but it’s not worth the pain.”

Lady: “Are you sure?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, I’m sure.”

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

Can’t Think Under The Box

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: *calling* “You didn’t give me my entire order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what was your order?”

Customer: “I got a 16-piece family meal, and you didn’t give me my fries!”

(I had bagged the order myself, and knew the fries were in a box in the same bag as the box of hushpuppies.)

Me: “Did you look under the hushpuppies?”

Customer: “Yes, there is nothing in there but the hushpuppies.”

Me: “No, not the same box as the hushpuppies. Did you take the hushpuppies out and look under them?”

Customer: “Yes. We took ALL the hushpuppies out. There aren’t any fries in here at all. We are coming back up to get our money back.”

Me: *sigh* “Did you take the hushpuppies out of the box, or did you take the box out of the bag?”

Customer: “We took the hushpuppies out.”

Me: “Take the box out of the bag.”

Customer: “Oh, there’s a whole ‘nother box here.”

Me: *in Bill Engvall voice* “Here’s your fries!”