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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Word Choice Makes An Explosion Of Difference

| USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(For a special holiday event hosted by a local organization our fast food restaurant gives them coupons for small ice cream cones to give to children as prizes. We are open the same day and the event lasts all day long. Our poor old ice cream machine quickly overheats and starts gushing liquid ice cream all over the floor.)

Customer #1: *screaming so loud i can hear her through my coworkers headset* “What do you mean we can’t get ice cream? Why do you think we came here in the first place?!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the ice cream machine is currently down and—”

Customer #1: “Of course it is! You know what? F*** YOU!”

(The customer drives off, pissed. Just like most of our other customers for that day.)

Me: “You look frazzled. Give me the headset for a while.”

Coworker: “Oh, God, thank you!”

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, we got these coupons for free ice cream cones. Can we get that?”

Me: “I’d love to make those for you! …except our ice cream machine exploded earlier today.”

Customer #2: “Oh, My God! Is everyone okay?”

Me: “Yes, no one was hurt but it did make quite a mess. Someone’s coming out to look at it tomorrow but it probably won’t be fixed until Monday.”

Customer #2: “Okay, we’ll just hold onto our coupons then. Let’s just get [order].”

Me: “Yes, sir, your total is [total] at the first window.” *turning to my coworker* “I think I just accidentally discovered something…”

(Every time someone asked for ice cream for the rest of the day, we told them the ice cream machine exploded and suddenly no one was screaming at us anymore because we were unable to make cones. Word choice is important!)

You’re Bean Unreasonable

| KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work drive-thru in a Mexican restaurant.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I want a burrito; I’m a vegetarian.”

Me: “Well, we have a vegetarian burrito that would be perfect.”

Customer: “What’s in it?”

Me: “It has beans—”

Customer: “NO! I don’t eat beans. They’re cooked in animal juices. Don’t you know anything about vegetarians?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, our beans are just made with spices and water; no animal juices.”

Customer: “Oh, my god, never mind. If you don’t want to co-operate I’m just gonna go to McDonald’s!”

Meat Her Halfway

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m working the self-scan machines. A grandfather comes by with his granddaughter in the seat of the shopping cart. He takes a pack of cookies from the nearby shelf and gives them to her.)

Grandfather: “Okay, honey, what should we get next?”

Granddaughter: “MEAT!”

Me: *chuckling* “I guess she’s a little carnivore, huh?”

Grandfather: *also laughing* “Well, her mom’s a vegetarian so I can’t really give her meat.”

Granddaughter: *bouncing in the seat with a big smile* “MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT!”

Me: “I don’t think she’s a vegetarian, sir.”