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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Dairy Drama Queen

| Germany | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work part-time in the kitchen of a small bistro, where we sell homemade sandwiches amongst other things. We have lots of vegan options since it’s become very popular in our college town, and my boss makes sure all kitchen staff knows exactly what’s in the vegan foods if customers ask. This happens as I spend my day off sitting in the bistro next to the counter doing homework.)

Customer: “You rang up my veggie sandwich as 4€! It says 3.80€ on the tag.”

Server: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you said you wanted the vegan sandwich, not the veggie sandwich. The vegan is 4€. I can change it if you want.”

Customer: “No, I want vegan! Why is vegan more expensive? It has the same vegetables on it!”

Server: *being a new worker, she doesn’t know the entire selection yet* “[My Name]? Do you know why the vegan is more expensive?”

Me: *to the customer* “The vegetarian sandwich has a cream cheese spread from [Local Producer]. The vegan spread is actually made by our kitchen, with tofu instead of cream cheese, and different ingredients than the veggie one.”

Customer: “Hmpf! Well, you should make all your spreads yourself if you want to make sure they’re vegetarian!”

Me: “Ma’am, [Local Producer] ONLY makes vegetarian food. They’re well known for it. Also, if we made all the spreads ourselves, all of the sandwiches would be more expensive.”

Customer: “Whatever. I’ll take the vegan one. Wait! Is it lactose-free?! I’m lactose-intolerant.”

Me: “Vegan always means lactose-free. There’s absolutely no dairy in vegan food.”

Customer: “How would you know?!”

Me: “I work in the kitchen. I made the spread on the sandwich you’re buying. I know exactly what I put into it, and there was no dairy involved.”

Customer: “Well, you’re not at work now! How am I supposed to trust that?!”

This Customer Is Soda-pressing

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am a barista at a famous, internationally known coffee shop and working at the cash register. The company at the moment only sells coffee-related drinks, ‘frappuccinos,’ teas, and other caffeine/coffee related products for drinks.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! And what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a ham artisan sandwich.”

Me: “All right, and anything to drink?

Customer: “And I want a diet [Soda].”

Me: *thinking that I misheard her* “I’m sorry, ma’am, what did you say?”

Customer: “I SAID I want a diet [Soda].”

Me: “Oh, um, I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t… carry that here.”

Customer: *looks at me with both eyebrows raised, incredulously* “You don’t carry soda?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: *throws her head back, scoffing* “That’s ridiculous! Fine, then I’ll just have a…” *looks at the menu* “I’ll just have a coffee then.”

Me: “All right, just a coffee? Would you like the medium blend? Or a different brew?” *we have a light, medium, dark, and decaf at the ready right behind me*

Customer: *scoffs again* “Just a coffee! Whatever!”

Me: “All right, one medium coffee. Anything else?”

Customer: “That’s all!” *she looks at her friend/coworker the whole time as if this was all a tiring exchange*

Waiting For The Muffin (Little) Man

| TX, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(Our chocolate chip muffins are coveted by kids as an after-school snack. We recommend that people call ahead and have us set one aside if they want to make sure we aren’t out by the time they arrive, since we stop baking muffins around midday. We will also warm up the muffins on request, but only if they will be eaten immediately, as they will be tough once they cool off.)

Me: *answering phone* “Good afternoon, [Store]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “THIS IS GEORGE.”

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “THIS IS GEORGE.”

Me: *making the connection between the high-pitched voice and the name of one of our regular second-grader customers* “You want me to save you a muffin, George?”

Caller: “CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFIN. HEATED, PLEASE.”

Me: “I’ll wait and heat it up when you get here. See you soon, buddy.”

Not So Fast Food

, | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Time

(The district manager of the fast food chain is in the building making sure everything is up to standards, so the store manager is a bit tense. I am working on the drive-thru window, where we have a target time of 90 seconds from starting the order to delivering the food. A driver pulls up to the order box.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Uh… I’d like a… hmm, number… three? And… uh, no pickles on that.”

Me: “All right, number three with no pickles. What would you like to drink?”

Customer: “Umm, make it… a, uh… Sprite. No, wait. Uh, do you have… diet Sprite?”

Me: *eyeing my timer and wishing he’d hurry up* “No, sorry. Is regular Sprite okay?”

Customer: “No, change it to… a Coke.”

Manager: “[My Name], timer’s ticking.”

Me: “So I have a number three, no pickles, Coke to drink. Will that be all for you today?”

Customer: “No, no, I’m not done. I also want… a number…” *trails off and starts talking to someone else in the car* “…a number nine.”

Me: “And the drink with that?”

Manager: “You’re usually good on the drive through, but if you don’t hurry this up you’ll be in trouble.”

(I mouth ‘sorry!’ at him.)

Customer: “A milkshake to drink.”

Me: “Yes, sir, which flavor?”

Customer: “Uh… chocolate? No, not chocolate… Umm… Strawberry. Yeah, strawberry.”

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Manager: “What is taking you so long?!”

(He grabs a headset to listen in on the order.)

Customer: “I want a… uh… kid’s meal. With… uh… hmm… chicken nuggets.”

Me: “And the drink for that one, sir?”

Customer: “Ummm…”

Manager: *with his headset muted* “…Oh. Carry on.”

Couldn’t Wait For An Actual Waiter

| Green Bay, WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(After classes my friends and I decide to stop and get something to eat. We are making our way through the restaurant to a table. I’m bringing up the end of the line.)

Customer: *as he grabs my arm in a punishing grip* “My friends and I have been waiting for our coffee for over 20 minutes. You had d*** well better get it for us right now or the next time I see you I’ll make d*** sure you regret it!”

Me: *scared he might hit me* “S-sure.”

(He finally lets me go and I go looking for a manager.)

Me: “The guys at that table told me that they’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes for their coffee and they’re REALLY mad.”

Manager: “Why did they talk to you about it?”

Me: “I have no idea.”

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