Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!


| Atlanta, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A teenage girl who was seen earlier in my emergency department shift for vomiting has returned. When she was discharged earlier she was given prescriptions and told to only eat clear liquids for 24 hours. Her mother is with her.)

Patient: “I stopped vomiting while I was here but it started again when I was at home.”

Me: “Did you take the medicine you were prescribed?”

Mother: “The doctor said she should only eat clear liquids. That medicine is a pill. She can’t take it because it is not a clear liquid.”

Me: “Well, she should only eat clear liquids except for the medicine. The medicine will help control the vomiting.”

Mother: *starting to get louder and agitated* “I know what the doctor told her! I was sitting right here! You are not even the doctor! You don’t know! She can’t take that medicine because she can ONLY have clear liquids!”

(At this point then girl vomits again and I can clearly see undigested hamburger meat in the emesis bag.)

Me: “Did you eat a hamburger after you left the hospital earlier?”

Mother: “Well, she was hungry! She had to eat something!”

Meat-Freedom Isn’t Free

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A well-known fast food chain has been doing free giveaways of their new steak wrap. Their stall has been set up in a busy city square, across the road from a major train station. My girlfriend and I are third and fourth in line for the wraps.)

Employee #1: “There’s your wrap. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Thanks.” *starts eating his wrap* Oh, my God, this has meat in it! Ew!”

(The man turns back to face the employee.)

Customer: “I’m a vegetarian! I can’t eat meat! Why didn’t you warn me!”

Employee #1: “First of all, there are giant signs all over the square saying that we are giving away STEAK wraps. Secondly, you never said anything about being a vegetarian until after you had started eating that.”

Customer: “So? I want a new wrap. One with no meat in it!”

Employee #1: “Sir, we’re only giving away steak wraps here. If you want a vegetarian wrap, you’ll have to go to our restaurant up the street and buy one.”

Customer: “Oh, for f***’s sake!”

(He throws his wrap into the ground, making a rather large mess, then storms off towards the train station. My girlfriend and I start discussing what just happened, as another employee cleans up the remains of the wrap.)

Girlfriend: “Honestly. How the f*** do you see a sign saying ‘Free steak wraps’ and think ‘vegetarian.'”

Employee #2: *overhearing us* “If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t be working here.”

Should Just Drive Straight-Thru That Morning

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a fast-service chain restaurant.)

Me: *taking an order in the drive-thru* “Good morning, welcome to [Company]. What can I get you?”

Customer: “Give me two sausage burritos and a large iced mocha.”

Me: “We only have original and vanilla iced coffee.”

Customer: *huge sigh* “SERIOUSLY? Fine, vanilla.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Customer: “HOW much?!”

Me: “Uh… [amount].”

Customer: “Ugh…” *drives up to window*

Me: *take his payment, hand him his coffee* “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “THAT’S your LARGE size?”

Me: “Uh… yes?”

Customer: *rolls his eyes and looks away from me in disgust, spotting [Other Chain Restaurant] next door to us* “Oh, my god… I’m not at [Other Chain Restaurant]…”

(He was quiet while I finished the rest of his transaction. I figured that since he hadn’t had that coffee yet and it was only 6:00 in the morning, I could be understanding of his plight and not say anything about it either.)

The Bananas Were Killed Humanely

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My Vietnamese coworker asks me to help a customer as he does not quite understand her question.)

Me: “Hello. What can I help you with today, ma’am?”

Customer: “I was just wondering if there is any chicken, fish, or pork in your banana bread?”

Me: “No… there is no meat of any kind in our banana bread.”

Customer: “I always check. I’m a vegetarian, you know.”

All Garnish And No Substance

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in a well known theme park in Orlando. It is currently a festival that offers food and drinks from around the world. A lady orders a drink and I pour it.)

Guest: “Doesn’t this come with a garnish?”

Me: “Yes, normally it comes with a piece of dill but we currently do not have the dill to put on top of the drink.”

Guest: “Oh…”

(The guest walked away and returned five minutes later.)

Guest: “Is there anyway I could get a refund? I really only wanted the drink for the garnish.”

Me: “Uh, sure… Go talk to the cashier who sold you the drink.”

(She got her refund, but I’d like to know who would buy a $7 drink just for a piece of dill weed?)

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