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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Brain Freeze

, | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am about to order ice cream for my two young children. An older lady holding a cone rushes in front of us and pushes my three-year-old out of her way.)

Customer: “Hey, watch your kid!”

(She turns to the cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but this ice cream is just so frozen it’s not even funny.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like me to get a new one?”

Customer: “Yes. And make it less frozen!”

(The cashier gets her another ice cream. She takes a lick and drops it in the nearby trashcan.)

Customer: “This is also too frozen! You have terrible service!”

Cashier: “Well, ma’am, the thing about ice cream is that it tends to freeze. The best advice I have for you is to wait until it melts.”

(The customer stomps off.)

Cashier: *to me* “You know what ice cream is, right?”

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Cucumber Blunder

| USA | Food & Drink, Money, Popular

(We have both native organic cucumbers, and cucumbers from more temperate states on sale. Native cucumbers are 69 cents for one, whereas the shipped-in cucumbers are two for 99 cents. Produce department has signs up advertising the 69 cents price but because the cashiers don’t have a code for native cucumbers and they’re not in our produce lookup on the registers, our manager told us to ring them in as shipped-in cucumbers which is actually a better deal for the customer.)

Customer: “You made a mistake.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Look at this.” *thrusts receipt in my face* “Look!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand the problem.”

Customer: “Native cukes!”

Me: “What…?”

Customer: “Native cukes! I got them native cukes!”

(I check his receipt and it says he was charged for two cucumbers.)

Me: “How many did you get?”

Customer: “Two!”

Me: “Well, it looks like that’s what you were charged for, so I don’t understand what the problem is. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “69 cents!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Native 69 cents cukes!”

Me: “Okay. Sir, please calm down. I’m having trouble understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “I’m supposed to be charged 69 cents for native cukes! Look at this! ‘Two cucumbers at two for 99 cents’!”

Me: “Yes, sir, you bought two so you were charged for two. I’m still not understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “Two. Cukes. 69 cents. Them are 69 cent cukes and I got charged 99 cents for two.”

Me: “Sir. We don’t have a code for native cucumbers. We have to ring them in as standard out-of-state cucumbers. Are you telling me you’re unsatisfied with spending 39 cents less than what you would have had to pay?”

(The customer stares at me like I have three heads, then crumples up his receipt and throws it at me before storming out of the store.)

Me: “Glad we could provide excellent service for you today, sir!”

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Finding Fresh Ways To Complain

| Kristiansand, Norway | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work at the local fish market. We keep live cod in fish tanks, so that the customers can get them as fresh as possible.)

Customer: “Hello. That fish in the tank over there. Is that fresh?”

Me: “Well, yes, it’s alive.”

Customer: “I see that, but is it fresh? How long has it been living in there?”

Me: “A few days.”

Customer: “Then it’s not fresh!”