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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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Not A Big Fan Of Labels

| Manchester, England, UK | Food & Drink, Money

(It’s quite a quiet day with just a steady trickle of customers. It’s all nice and quiet until a woman approaches me with her little basket full of goodies. She seems the typical “I’m too good to be shopping here” customer, but I remain pleasant as always. I scan her items through, and reach a couple of tins of beans.)

Customer: “Check that they’re two tins for £1.50.”

(I scan them through.)

Me: “Sorry. They’re [price] each.”

Customer: “No. It said on the shelf that there were two for £1.50!”

(Usually I call another member of staff from the floor to check prices, but it is quiet and the tinned food aisle isn’t too far away. I go and check it myself. I find a sign clearly stating that only one variety of beans are in the deal. The sort she picked up was next to them, with their own clear label. I take the labels off the shelf and take them back to the woman at the till. I show them to her.)

Me: “Sorry about the wait. I checked, and unfortunately it is only the [Brand #1] beans which are in the deal; these are [Brand #2], so they’re [price].”

Customer: *in a condescending tone* “Well, yes, the labels would say that now, wouldn’t they! I won’t take them.”

(I rung her up and waved her on her way. I didn’t point out that I did not have a label printer concealed down my t-shirt just to fix prices of baked beans…)

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Avocano-no

| CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A woman comes into the restaurant I work in and orders a salad during a dinner rush. It takes longer than normal to make, but not an obscene amount of time.)

Me: “Here you go, [Customer]!”

(She looks at the salad.)

Customer: “Why does this have avocado on it? I’ve been a customer of this place since it started and this salad has never had avocado on it. I’m allergic to avocado. I can’t eat this!”

Me: “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry! I can remake this for you, if you want?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time. Just pull it off the top.”

(I do as she asks, and she storms out. I’m shaking, and I don’t notice my manager coming out from the office.)

Manager: “What was that about?”

Me: “She ordered [Salad] and she said it’s never had avocado on it before.”

Manager: “That’s BS. I’ve worked at this restaurant since the beginning, and that salad has always had avocado on it.”

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She Got Sick Of Him

CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Manager: “We had a guy vomiting in the lounge. He’s headed to you and asking for a refund.”

(Dude stumbles up, clearly drunk.)

Dude: “I got sick and they’re making me leave.”

Me: “Have you been drinking?”

Dude: “Yeah, of course.” *our event does not serve alcohol*

Me: “Then I can’t give you a refund.”

Dude: “Why?”

Me: “Because you came into our event drunk and puked all over our lounge.”

Dude: “Yeah, but I want to see the show.”

Me: “Well, you came in here drunk and laid a pile of puke inside.”

Dude: “I’ll just wait ten minutes, and then I’ll feel better.”

Me: “I still can’t put you in the show.”

Dude: “Why not?”

Me: “Because you are a liability. You may knock someone over, break something, or throw up again.”

Dude: “Ah, yeah, okay. I’ll come back in ten minutes.”

(The dude and his girlfriend go outside. A few minutes later the dude’s girl comes back.)

Dude’s Girl: “Can I still go to the show?”

(We let her in, and she walked out holding ANOTHER guy’s hand and cuddled out front with him for about an hour.)

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Katy Perry Fries

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A clearly irate customer walks up to my counter holding a carton of fries.)

Customer: “These fries are too cold! Straight from the refrigerator, I’d gather!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’ll get you another one.”

(I take back her fries, but before throwing them away, I try a piece–it tastes warm. Figuring she wants really hot fries, I get her some that are fresh out of the fryer.)

Me: “Here you go!” *hands customer the fries*

Customer: *tries a piece* “No, I can’t eat this! It’s still cold! It’s disgusting!” *storms away, leaving the fries behind*

Me: *baffled*

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Not Panning Out Well

| Grants, NM, USA | Food & Drink

(I work for a very popular pizza delivery chain. During my shift I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “Yes I’d like to order an ultimate pepperoni pizza.”

Me: “All right, ma’am, may I ask is this for delivery or carry out?”

Customer: “Delivery.”

Me: “And what size pizza and style of crust would you like?”

Customer: “I want a large pan pizza.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. We only carry pan pizza in medium.”

Customer: “Why? What if that’s what the customer wants? How much is this going to cost me anyway?”

Me: “We’ll, ma’am, we haven’t finished your order yet. I still need to know the size and style of crust you would like.”

Customer: “I already told you, large pan.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we only carry pan crust in medium. The pans themselves are medium size. There is no way for us to make a large pan pizza. You can get a medium pan for [amount].”

Customer: “I don’t want a medium; I want a large.”

Me: “Well, here are the crusts available in large: hand tossed, Brooklyn style, or crunchy thin.”

Customer: “Hand tossed, I suppose.”

Me: “All right. What else can I get for you? Drinks? Sides? Desserts?”

Customer: “I want a two-liter [Brand #1 Soda] and 14-piece hot wings.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we only carry [Brand #2 Soda] products.”

Customer: “Well, Jeezus, can’t you people ever satisfy anyone?! You are not good at your job at all. I want regular [Brand #2 Soda] and make sure to send peppers and parmesan cheese with the driver.”

Me: “Ma’am, we do have to charge for the parmesan now because it comes in a larger shaker container.”

Customer: “This is such bull-s***! I call you expecting good customer service and I bet you were even going to charge me for the delivery weren’t you!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Our delivery charge is $2.99 and the cost goes to our insurance company to help protect our drivers on the road. None of the $2.99 goes to the driver.”

Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m never ordering from here again. I’m going to have you boycotted into bankruptcy. Then you’ll see.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. So, are you canceling your order?”

Customer: “Yes, I am.”

Me: “Well, I apologize for any inconvenience and I do hope you have a great day.”

Customer: “F*** you, you piece of s***!” *hangs up*

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