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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

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A Different Kind Of Bean-Counter

, | USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a fast food restaurant chain that was involved in a scandal involving their pinto beans back in 2011, when they revealed they weren’t vegan. Since 2013, though, they’ve been completely vegan. So, that’s three years that our beans have been vegan. The pinto beans are in front of the black beans (which have always been vegan), so while we try our best to avoid it, sometimes a few beans or the juice from the pinto beans will fall into the black beans. Nine times out of  ten, no one, even the vegans who ask us to change our gloves to serve them, care. But this one customer…)

Girl: “Do you have fresh black beans? I can’t have the ones behind the pinto beans.”

Me: “Uh, sure, I think they just put some in the back.” *I glance back, and there are beans, but they’re nowhere near needing to be changed* “Do you have an allergy?”

Girl: *pause* “Yeah.”

Me: *gets her fresh beans, passes her order down the line, goes about my day without thinking about it, though she does give me the stink eye*

(A few weeks pass without any incident, until she comes back and does the same thing, asking for fresh beans. This time, we don’t have any readily available, so we have to hold up the line waiting for the grill to make her fresh beans. She takes this opportunity to give me “suggestions” on something I have no control over.)

Girl: “You really should keep the black beans behind the pinto beans so people who can’t have pinto beans can still have the black beans.”

Me: “Um, well, we’ve never had anyone else say they were allergic to the pinto beans, so I suppose there’s an equal likelihood that this could happen the other way around for someone allergic to the black beans…”

(I serve her new beans as I try to piece together her logic for saying this. We get people with common allergies like gluten all the time, but never someone allergic to pinto beans.)

Girl: “Well, I’m not allergic, but I’m vegan, so I can’t have the pinto beans.”

Me: *pause* “Our pinto beans are completely vegan.”

Girl: “No, I know they aren’t. I know you guys use meat in your pinto beans.”

(By this point, I’m totally taken aback by this girl. Not only did she lie about having an allergy, which is something our restaurant takes extremely seriously, she’s now claiming we’re lying about what’s in our beans, or we just don’t know. She continues down the line, and gets to cash, asking for a manager. She gives him the same spiel she gave me about putting our pinto beans behind our black beans.)

Manager: “That’s set by corporate. There’s really nothing we can do about that, but our pinto beans are vegan.”

(The girl continues to insist that they aren’t, so I chime in again.)

Me: “We can show you the recipe cards if you want, so you can see exactly what’s in them.”

Girl: “Fine.”

(My manager goes off to get the recipe cards, which takes a while, and the girl goes to sit and eat her meal. He comes back, and I point out where she’s sitting. I watch the exchange, and she brushes him off in less than a minute.)

Me: “What happened?”

Manager: “She insisted she didn’t want to see them.”

Me: “What? So not only does she not believe us when we say they’re vegan, she’s going to go on insisting they have meat and keep demanding fresh beans?”

(My manager shrugged, I rolled my eyes, continuing to be baffled by the contradictory stupidity of humanity, and continued to serve customers. She stayed away for more time than I’d seen her away before, but when she came back, she ordered black beans with no noticeable commotion. Maybe she just didn’t want to be proved wrong.)

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Panicking At The Tipping Point

| Canada | Food & Drink, Money, Non-Dialogue

I am the customer. I order a pizza online and get a “Pizza of the Day” deal for a $10 discount.

When the pizza is delivered, I notice I do not have my card with me. My mistake. I forgot how much the order was for, so I ask him to tell me the amount, and he just shows me the receipt.

I am in a hurry, so I notice the total amount ($41) before the deal discount, frantically try to search for some loonies since he does not have any spare change on him, and finally give him $46.

All this time he is smiling at me, and I am just thinking may be he is trying to be friendly.

Just now, the order email confirmation catches my eye, and I see that I paid an extra $15 for the pizza delivery and realize that probably that’s why the delivery guy was smiling, thinking he is getting a huge tip!

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In Spitting Distance Of Being An A**-Hole

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(Two teenage couples come into my section to eat. The two guys order full meals, one of the girls orders a glass of water, and the other orders a side salad. I have been joking around with the two guys, but the girls have given me nothing but icy stares and short answers. Another waiter delivers the food and forgets to bring the salad. I come up to the table.)

Me: “How is everything?”

(The girl who ordered the salad looks at me and throws her hands up in the air.)

Me: “Oh, no, it looks like my colleague forgot your salad. I’ll be right back.”

(I retrieve the salad quickly and return it to the girl. As I set it in front of her:)

Girl: “God, what took so long?”

Me: “The cooks weren’t finished spitting in it yet.”

(Her eyes just about popped out of her head and the guys just started laughing. Luckily the guys paid and tipped well.)

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Entree-Level Knowledge

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive-thru speaker. After the customer gives her order, consisting of several sandwiches without combos, I repeat it to her.)

Me: “So that was one [Item #1], entree only, one [Item #2], entree only, and—”

Customer: “No, no, no! I ordered the sandwiches! I don’t know what an entree is, but I’m not paying for that! Ring me up right!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I—”

Customer: “Why are you people always getting my order wrong? I just want the sandwiches!”

(She continues to rant, but when she finally takes a breath, I cut in.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, please pull forward to the window.”

(When she pulls up, she starts yelling at my coworker as soon as she gets to the window.)

Customer: “I don’t know what those entree things you rang me up for are! You’d better make sure my order is right and not charge me for any entrees! I just want [Items], with no combo meals!”

Coworker: “Okay, ma’am, we’ve got that right here. Your total is [amount].”

(None of us felt like dealing with the screaming and line delay that would have come if we’d tried to educate her.)

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Caught Red-Cupped

| Portland, OR, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m a food cart cashier on my last day of work, and have just returned from my lunch break with my helper. Our zoo had stopped all sales of a popular souvenir cup several days earlier, but returning visitors can bring the cups back with them to take advantage of our $1.00 refill deal for all souvenir cups, continued or discontinued. Almost ten minutes after returning, a group of five people cuts in front, and one of them angrily points at me.)

Customer: “We bought seven different drinks, and four of them were in the [Popular Souvenir Cup], twenty minutes ago! We left them at our table for just a minute, and they all got stolen! We want new cups for everything, for free! Or give us our money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t refund you on those cups.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! Why can’t you do your job and give us our money’s worth?!”

Me: “Well, considering we haven’t sold these cups in days, I doubt you bought them from here in the last twenty minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, uh, I just forgot; we bought them over at the food cart near the—”

Me: “No location in the zoo is selling these cups anymore. We discontinued them last week while we wait for the new souvenir cup design to be shipped in.”

(The customer and their whole gaggle of a family then try to stutter out new drink orders, but my helper sharply tells them they’ve cut in the line and that they’ll need to wait, and they leave looking incredibly embarrassed. Apparently, according to the workers who covered for me and my helper, they’d been waiting for us to come back from lunch break, and had been watching other people carry cups around. Before they were out of earshot, I called out to them.)

Me: “Next time you want to scam someone, at least be smart about it!”

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