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Category: Family & Kids

Going To Go Over Like A Lead Balloon

| Dallas, TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I am at a sale in a store when I hear this exchange:)

Customer #1: *to Customer #2’s young son* “Aww, look, you’ve got a balloon!”

Customer #2: “Yeah, I stole it from a display.”

As Sick As A Parrot

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(My friend is a small-mammal handler at a zoo. Today, she’s taken a particularly docile ferret out to let visitors encounter it first-hand. A couple comes in with a young child. I’m standing in the background.)

Mother: “Ooh, look, the zoo lady’s got a baby raccoon!”

Father: “That’s some sort of weasel!”

Child: “Mom, I wanna see the octopus.”

Mother: “Let’s go see the nice lady with the raccoon.”

Father: “Weasel.”

(The mother gives the father a look and then approaches my friend.)

Mother: “‘Excuse me, miss, what kind of animal is that?”

Friend: “This is a ferret. Her name is [Name] and she’s very friendly. You can pet her if you take care to avoid—”

Father: “Parrot!? That’s a weasel!”

Friend: “It’s a ferret. They’re in the weasel family, like—”

Father: “You sure?”

Friend: “Yes, very sure. Ferrets are among—”

Father: “Let’s go see the octopus, [Child].”

(They leave in a hurry. Curious, I follow them outside.)

Father: “D*** thing must have been sick. Pretty irresponsible of them to expose us to a sick parrot.”

Child: “Ferret.”

Father: “We just saw the parrot. I thought you wanted to see the octopus.”

Child: “Daddy, is your hearing aid on?”

They’re Back In Action

| MI, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Technology

(A lady and her son come into the store I work at and promptly approached the counter to inquire about a certain item.)

Me: “How’s it going? Were you looking for anything tonight?”

Mother: “Yeah, my son, he needs the back to a P3.”

Me: *assuming she means PS3 parts* “Sorry, ma’am, we actually don’t sell parts here. You’d have more luck taking it up the road to another store to be repaired or checking online for it. ”

Mother: “NO, I need THE BACK to the P3.”

Me: “Did you need one of the cables that plug into the back? Like a power cable that plugs into the wall or the video cables that go from the back of the PS3 to the TV?”

Mother: “NO. I JUST NEED THE BACK.”

Me: *showing her the power and AV cables* “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Mother: “No, did you find it yet?”

(Her son who was going through the PS3 accessories on display ever since they walked in, begins yelling:)

Son: “Look, Ma! The back! I found the back to the P3!”

(Lo and behold it was the first set of AV cables I showed the mother at the counter.. They left exclaiming how exciting it was to find the back of their PS3 they needed so they could use it again.)