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Category: Family & Kids

Summer Starts Earlier Every Year

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am a counselor at a summer camp. A parent asks me this as she is dropping her son off on the first day.)

Mother: “Camp starts at 9 am, right?”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Mother: “So when is the earliest I can drop him off?”

(This is a reasonable question, as some camps in the same building provide before-care options. Ours, however, does not.)

Me: “8:55? We always start with some casual games that the kids can join as they arrive, so there’s no need to worry about him missing anything.”

Mother: “But I need to drop him off, and his sister at her camp, and then I have to get to work. So I really need to drop him off earlier. His sister’s camp doesn’t have before-care so I need to drop her off second.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have before-care either.”

Mother: “But you must get here before 9.”

Me: “Well… we do get here earlier but we have setup to do.”

Mother: “I’ll just drop him off when you get here then.”

Me: “We really can’t be responsible for the children outside of camp hours.”

Mother: “He won’t bother you.”

Me: “Please do not bring him before 9.”

Mother: “Okay, see you at 8:30!” *walks away*

Me: “No… please don’t!”

(I got there at 8:20 the next morning and found the child sitting in the hallway outside the locked room!)

Caribbean There, Done That

| London, England, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Geography

(I’m a volunteer lunch-server in a nursing home, but I’ve spent the last month working in the south of France. I’ve picked up a slight tan, but usually my skin is as white as it gets. One lady stares at me oddly as I bring her her food.)

Lady: “Where are you from?”

Me: “From here, ma’am. I live a few roads away.”

Lady: “No, I mean where were you born?”

Me: “Finchley, originally, but I moved—”

Lady: “No, no, no. Where are you from?”

Me: “Uh. London, ma’am. Britain.”

Lady: “And your parents?”

Me: “Also from London.”

Lady: *squints at me* “No, you’re lying. There’s no shame in being Jamaican, you know. You can tell me.”

Me: “I… What?”

Makes You Wish You Were Cat-atonic

| VA, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

Grandmother: “Come look a these pictures.”

(The waitress is obviously uncomfortable as my grandmother proceeds to show her a ton of pictures of my cat.)

Grandmother: “See, it looks like it’s playing piano.”

Mom: “She doesn’t want to see all of our pictures, mom.”

Grandmother: “Look at this one.”

Mom: *mouthing silently* “I’m so sorry.”

Grandmother: “He’s playing with something here…”