Category: Family & Kids

Trying To Level With You

| Murrieta, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(We have very strict rules on height requirements for our bigger rides that often create a problem with guests that are close to but not meeting the requirement, so much so that I bought myself a level out of my own pocket to get the most exact measurements possible.)

Me: “I’m afraid your son is about an inch away and will not be able to ride, but he does meet the requirements for most of the other rides.”

Customer: “You’re kidding me. This is f***ing ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m very sorry but it is a safety requirement.”

Customer: “Well, we JUST went to the doctor and the doctors said he was 56″ inches.”

Me: “Oh, my, it sounds like your doctor may have been eyeballing it a little, or taking a guess.”

Customer: “No, he’s doctor! He was doing doctor things! He said he was tall enough.”

Me: “Well, despite that we do have to go off of the measurements on our signs.”

Customer: “You have ruined his birthday! His whole birthday is ruined! We’re going someplace else.”

(The guest stormed off out the doors while giving me the evil eye the entire time. Once she was gone I turned to my coworkers and mimed shooting myself in the head with my level.)

Mayo-No-No

| CA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working the register at a sandwich shop at a theme park. A customer walks in with her mother.)

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Do y’all have turkey sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It comes with your choice of chips, salad, or fruit.”

Customer: “Salad. I am on a diet so I can’t have any fat. By the way is your bread on the turkey sandwich fat free?”

Me: “Yes, I believe so. I can go ask our chef if you would like.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I think you are right. Is your turkey fat free?”

Me: “Yes, our turkey is lean, cooked and sliced right here.”

Customer: “Oh, that sounds good. Also are your tomatoes fat free?”

(At this point, the coworkers around me and this woman’s mother are stifling laughs.)

Me: “Yes… they are definitely fat free.”

Customer: *to her mother* “See, ma, I am doing this diet thing right.”

Me: “Might I mention that we have a mustard sauce on our sandwich that is not fat free, and includes mayo. Would you like me to get you one without it?”

Customer: “No. How can you eat a sandwich without mayo?”

The Mother Of All Lies

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I work for a rental company and overhear one of our managers informing a woman in her 40s that to add her mother as a driver it’ll cost an extra $10 a day unless it’s her spouse.)

Woman: “I don’t want to pay an extra $10! I want to add my wife onto the add drivers area, then.”

Manager: “Uh, what?”

Woman: “What? Isn’t gay marriage legal in Indiana?!”

Manager: “Yes, gay marriage is legal. However, you just told me that she was your mother.”

Woman: “No! She is my gay lover and we have been married for two years!”

(Awkward silence.)

Manager: “I would not be able to do that since you have just blatantly lied.”

(The woman stormed out.)

Can’t Take The Weight Of Her Daughter’s Behavior

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am at the cash register ringing up people when I notice a mother and her daughter walk in the store. The little girl goes one way, towards the frozen yogurt, and the mother goes the other. The girl gets the biggest cup we offer and fills it all the way to the top with frozen yogurt and puts the dome lid on, then proceeds to fill it up the rest of the way with toppings. Like all frozen yogurt establishments, the price is dependent on the weight of the items. The mother and daughter walk up to the register at the same time.)

Me: *as I start ringing up the mother’s items* “Can I get you ladies anything else?”

Mother: “No, that’s it.”

Me: *talking to the daughter now* “Okay, sweetie, can you please put your yogurt on the scale so I can figure up the price?”

(Daughter complies and puts her yogurt on the scale. I quickly noticed this transaction was going awry when the mother noticed the price on the scale said $9.09.)

Mother: “That price can’t be right!” *now talking to her daughter* “Pick that up! Now set it back down! Pick it up! Set it back down!”

(20 seconds of this later:)

Me: “Ma’am, the price isn’t going to change because it’s dependent upon the weight.”

Mother: “No! You’re wrong! We came in here last week and got the SAME EXACT AMOUNT of frozen yogurt and it was only $3! How do you even know how much it is per ounce?! There’s no signs!”

Me: “Well, if you would look back at the frozen yogurt section, you would see that there are two electronic signs stating that the frozen yogurt is [price].”

(She looks back at the signs and whips her head back around to me.)

Mother: “Those signs aren’t at eye-level! How is anyone supposed to see those! They don’t walk in the store looking up at the wall when the yogurt is at eye level!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. If you got the same exact amount of yogurt and toppings as last time, which would be almost impossible by the way, the yogurt total today would come out to $3. My guess is that last time you were in here, she was supervised when getting the frozen yogurt.”

(She pauses, stunned for a second that someone dare talk to her or about her darling angel this way.)

Mother: “Well I’m not paying for this s***! This is unbelievable! I want to speak with your manager!”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty. ”

Mother: “Come on, [Daughter]! We’re going to get you ice cream at [Fast Food Place]!”

Daughter: “NO! I WANT THIS ICE CREAM!”

Mother: “Okay, honey, I’ll get it for you this time, but next time mommy isn’t going to spend so much money on ice cream.” *she then turns to me* “We WILL NOT be coming back here… EVER!”

(I physically restrained myself from throat-punching the woman by holding onto the sides of the register.)

The Mother Knows Her Call Of Duty

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

(I am working at a customer support center for a popular online video game.)

Me: “Hello, support.”

Caller: “Hi, my son can’t get into his account.”

(I verify her information and pull up the account.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems you son’s account was suspended because he violated community guidelines.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

(I get the report open and my jaw drops. He was reported for harassment. Gamers are infamous trash-mouths, but this one of the disgusting guys who harassed our female players. And I have his mother on the line.)

Me: “It looks like your son was reported for harassing another player. Do you know if he was using his account last Saturday?”

Caller: “Oh, yes, that was him. What did he do? Did he swear?”

Me: “Among other things. Do you have an email address that I can send a copy of our suspension notice and transcript of the event in question?”

(She gives me her email and keeps talking while I type and send.)

Caller:  “I don’t see how you can ban him for a little swearing? I read the rating; don’t the characters swear? What did he say that was so bad?”

Me: “I am not comfortable repeating it. Did you get the email?”

Caller: “Yes, I—”

(She goes very quiet.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: *she talks in that deadly, angry-mother tone*“Thank you for informing me of this. Unfortunately I will need to cancel his account.”

Me: “I will go ahead and do that for you. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I have to go talk to my son now.”

(I didn’t stop grinning all day long, knowing at least one online harasser met justice.)