Category: Family & Kids


Like Stealing Candy From A Baby

| Renfrewshire, Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(While shopping, I notice two typically cute toddlers eagerly running down the sweets aisle, ahead of their parents.)

Toddler: *loudly and cheerfully* “I’m going to steal something!”


Making A New Disappointment

| Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(This patient has missed two appointments back to back before this one. An hour before her appointment she gets her mother to call in sick for her. She’s in her mid 20s. We have a 24-hour cancellation policy that I waved for the first two missed appointments.)

Reception: “Due to policy, we will have to charge your daughter for this missed appointment.”


Reception: “I’m sorry but it is policy. You daughter missed two appointments in a row before this appointment. I’m sorry but there will be a charge.”

Customer’s Mom: “FINE! She’ll just never come back in then.”

(The mother is a regular of mine. And, just because you don’t come in doesn’t mean you can get out of paying.)


Toddlers Can Be Terrifying

| USA | Family & Kids

(I work at a pretty popular haunted house in my town, and I’m outside on my break, near the entrance line.)

Customer: “Excuse me; can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Yes, absolutely.”

Customer: “What’s your age limit here?”

Me: “I don’t believe we have a technical age limit, but we don’t recommend anyone under the age of 10 or so.”

Customer: “Well, would it be all right if I brought in my son? He’s ten months old.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am… I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that would be a good idea. The house can be pretty intense, and your son being as young as he is, he would probably cause a fuss and disturb the other walkers and the actors.”

Customer: “But he’s, like, really brave.”

Me: “Believe me, I don’t think it’s a good idea. He’ll be terrified.”

Customer: “Okay, then. Thanks!”



| FL, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work in a popular chain grocery store bakery as a clerk. One of our items is pre-rolled out pizza dough that is kept in a small cooler that’s in a wall next to the bread and rolls. I usually get questions on how to prep the pizza. This time was a little different…)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “This is pre-rolled out dough?”

Me: “Yup and it comes out to be about this size.” *I gesture with my hands the approximate shape*

Customer: “Oh good! It will be big enough to make cookies with my kids!”

Me: “Um. Ma’am. This is PIZZA dough. You can make PIZZAS with it with your kids.”

Customer: “I can’t make cookies with this?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “But this is dough.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It has yeast in it which makes it dough.”

Customer: “What if I add a lot of sugar; will it be good for cookies then?”

Me: “No. If you want that kind of dough you will have to get it from the dairy section.”

Customer: *clearly still doesn’t believe me* “What if it’s A LOT of sugar?”

Me: “It will still be pizza dough.”

Customer: *in a tone that says that she still doesn’t believe me* “Well, okay then. If you’re sure.” *puts the dough back*


Wouldn’t Want To Be In Their Shoes

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(It’s a slow day, and I’m the only cashier up at the registers. A frazzled mom comes up to make her purchases with her chatty toddler son in tow. The kid is talking non-stop, pointing out every little thing, and obviously has been doing so for some time. The mother is quickly losing her patience and hardly says a word to me.)

Me: *reaching for a pair of toddler boy shoes to scan* “Hey, bud, are these awesome shoes for you?”

(The little boy nods excitedly and stops mid-sentence to begin chatting about his shoes. The mother cuts in.)

Customer: “Obviously those are for him. Please don’t talk to my son.”

(The rest of the transaction was done in uncomfortable silence, save for the little boy continuing to chat away non-stop. To this day I’m still dumbfounded over her response!)

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