Category: Family & Kids

I’ve Come As The Mommy

| Lakewood, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I go into a burrito restaurant on Halloween, where they are offering burritos for three dollars if you come in costume. I am not wearing one. When I get up to the register, the following exchange occurs:)

Cashier: “Aww, you aren’t wearing a costume today!”

Me: *looking down at my sweater and old jeans* “Yes, I am.”

Cashier: “What are you supposed to be?”

Me: “A mom with depression who hasn’t eaten anything in two days?”

Cashier: *with a knowing smile* “Your total is three dollars.”

Irresponsibly Entitled

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I am the cashier serving a woman with a very full grocery cart. Her son, who looks to be around four, is hanging from the handle, swinging like he’s trying to be a monkey and making the cart tip back slightly.)

Me: “Honey, it’s not really a good idea to do that. The cart could tip over and fall on you.”

Woman: “Don’t tell my son what he can or can’t do! That’s not your job!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. I’m merely trying to prevent him from hurting himself.”

(At this point the cart’s front wheels are lifting off the ground every time the boy swings. His mother just shrugs.)

Woman: “If he does then I’ll just sue you for having unsafe carts and take you for everything you’re worth!”

Me: “Actually, no, you can’t. I’ve officially given both you and your son fair warning that what he’s doing is dangerous and could lead to injury, therefore I’ve fulfilled the legal requirements for health and safety. Whatever happens from here on is squarely your fault and your fault alone.”

Woman: “But…”

Me: “And if you’re going to try and lie about it to my manager or a lawyer, please direct your attention to the cameras overhead. They record both picture and sound so that’s additional confirmation I did everything I could to keep you and your son safe and thus you are entirely at fault for not stopping him.”

(The cart suddenly tips backwards, and the boy loses his grip on the handle. Miraculously it doesn’t tip over though; it just crashes back onto its wheels. He gets up and tries to swing from it again.)

Me: “By all means, ma’am, if it’ll make your day to sue us then go ahead. Just note you’ll have no case whereas I will have plenty of cause for calling social services on you.”

(The woman turns white and smacks her son’s hands.)

Woman: “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THE CART AGAIN!”

Me: “Thank you for understanding, ma’am.”

(I finished ringing her up and she hurried out of the store with her son in tow. Sometimes you really do have to spell it out for people why they can’t just laden all their responsibility on others.)

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That’s Stone-Cold Awesome

| Selma, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I’m ringing up a customer and he’s buying ten toy snakes, each at $1.)

Me: “I’m guessing you have a kid that really likes snakes?”

Customer: “No, my daughter has a school project and wants to make a Medusa wig.”

Me: “That’s the most amazing thing I have ever heard.”

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Safety Rules Don’t Go Down Swimmingly

| UK | Family & Kids

(We have a strict policy when it comes to the swimming pool: no under-eights without an adult. I work on reception and it is summer.)

Grandfather: “Could I have three juniors to swim, please?”

Me: “Of course. And how old are they?”

Grandfather: “Twelve, eight, and six.”

Me: “Then I am sorry. I cannot let the six-year-old swim without someone over 16.”

Grandfather: “But she can swim.”

Me: “Sorry, but that is our policy.”

Grandfather: *yells at me* “…call yourself a holiday resort!”

(As he walked off, I hear him tell his granddaughter that ‘the lady won’t let her in.’ Of course it had nothing to do with safety and the fact the grandfather was willing to let all his grandchildren swim with no supervision. It was all my fault.)

Gotta Steal ‘Em All

| Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Non-Dialogue, Pokemon

A coworker and I are working the evening shift along the back wall in a local big box store, which means we’re just cleaning up after a day’s worth of customers have gone through.

The seasonal department is right next to the toy aisles, and while straightening up a row of patio furniture displays, we find a pile of Pokémon cards and three foil wrappers. There should be 30 cards from those wrappers, and we usually find all of the cards, or none. Typically none. This pile has 28 cards. Someone found what they were looking for, apparently.

Fast forward 10-15 minutes, and we’re cleaning up toys. We happen to be standing across from the collector cards wall, and a little boy (six-ish?) comes around the corner. He pulls two Pokémon cards out of his pocket and starts gushing at us about his super cool Pikachu and his super cool Jolteon.

My coworker and I just stood there speechless. The kid’s mother came around the corner and told the kid to stop bothering “the workers.” Kid covertly slipped the cards back in his pocket. The mother had no idea.

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