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Category: Family & Kids

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Mummy And Daddy Play Too

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(I work in a little touristy/toy store for kids and all ages. Near the till we have a lot of gag stuff displayed like funny books, fake dog poop, etc. One of the items we have is a set of toy handcuffs. I am checking out a mother.)

Little Girl: *probably around four* “Oh, mommy, look! Handcuffs!”

Mom: “You don’t need those; put them back.” *continues with transaction*

Little Girl: “Not for me; for you! You said you wanted to handcuff daddy!”

Mom: “No, I didn’t!”

Little Girl: “Yeah, you did; you said you wanted to handcuff daddy but we didn’t have handcuffs, remember? Well, here. I think these are the ones. You can handcuff daddy now.”

Mom: “No, we don’t need those.”

Me: *now finished and trying very hard to not laugh* “Have a nice day!”

(They left without the handcuffs but the girl said ‘you wanted to handcuff daddy’ a few more times!)

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The Long And The Short (Hair) Of It

| MN, USA | Family & Kids

(I’m a cashier and currently helping a mother. Her son appears to be about five years old. I have a pixie haircut, but I also have an obviously feminine face and body.)

Son: *very seriously* “Are you a boy?”

(I almost dissolve into laughter.)

Me: “No, I’m a girl. I just have very, very short hair.”

(He seems to consider this for a moment.)

Son: “Okay.” *nods very seriously*

Mom: *clearly worried I’m embarrassed or offended* “I’m sorry about that.”

Me: “No, no, it’s perfectly fine! He was very serious about the question and I can definitely say no one’s ever asked me that before; it was hilarious!”

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Time To Show That Customer The Door

| WV, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I’m a fairly petite female college student who works through the semester to try to cover book costs. I opened the shop this day and have been the only employee for quite a few hours. The shop is busy due to the college students returning to town. There’s finally been a break in the line, so I immediately head for a quick restroom break. Once I am inside the restroom, someone keeps trying to open the door even though it is locked. I have a feeling that some small child is playing with the door and I try to open the door slower than normal.)

Me: *opens door square into the forehead of a small girl* “Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry! Are you okay?”

Small Girl: *starts sobbing*

Girl’s Mother: “Oh, honey. It’ll be okay. Shh, shh now. It was an accident. You’ll be okay.”

Me: “I am so sorry about this, ma’am.”

Girl’s Mother: *mouths to me that it’s okay*

(I then feel horrible as I return to the employee back room. I grab a swig of water before heading back out to cashiering the customers that have entered the shop. The small girl and mother slowly make their way through the line. The small girl has stopped crying and seems to be so excited about the candies she can choose from for her yogurt.)

Me: “Okay. Your total today is $[total]. Will that be all for you?”

Girl’s Mother: “No. It won’t. I think you need to change the doors on those bathrooms. They’re a hazard! They need to be changed immediately!”

Me: “I’m so sorry again, ma’am, about what happened. I truly am. I’m glad to see that she is okay right now.”

Girl’s Mother: “No, she’s not! This is going to bruise. I should call up your company and tell them of this incident. I bet you wouldn’t like that here. Your manager should change those doors to swing differently or something; otherwise, I might have to make some phone calls!”

Me: “Ma’am. Once again, I am sorry for what happened.”

(I then go into the legality of how doors open in shops and such to her. I try to keep my composure because I truly felt awful for accidentally hitting the little girl.)

Girl’s Mother: “Well, be sure to leave your manager a note about this! I know it’s not your fault… but that door is a hazard and you should know better!”

(My assistant manager walks in and I relay the story to her.)

Assistant Manager: “This was a mom, right? And she thought that the door wouldn’t potentially be an issue for her daughter standing right next to the doorknob? I need to call my three-year-old and tell him I love him. Some people.”

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Keeping Children In Order Is A Monstrous Feet

| Woodstock, GA, USA | Family & Kids

(I am working at the deli counter with a large glass case displaying all of our products which can be cut to order. A customer places his order and, as I get to work on it, his maybe five-year-old daughter leans up against my freshly cleaned display case with hands and face against it. Nothing new to me, but perhaps I made a face about it.)

Father: *with a smile* “Now, now, don’t lean up against the glass or the nice man there is going to take you out back and chop your feet off!”

Daughter: *staring up at me then her father* “No, he won’t!”

Father: “He just might!”

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Doesn’t Take A Rocket Scientist

| Marion, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Popular

(A woman comes in with young boy, maybe six years old.)

Customer: “Do you have any cardboard you could give me? If you have any rocket ship sized boxes, we’ll take one of those.”

(The boy rolls his eyes.)

Boy: “Grandma!”

(I go into the back and see what I can find, and I come back with about twice what she asked for.)

Me: “The only rocket ship I have left is the size of a refrigerator.”

(Before anyone can say anything else, the boys eyes light up and he shouts.)

Boy: “I’ll take it!”

Customer: “We have no way to get it home; it’s too big.”

Boy: “I’ll ride on top of it and hold it down until we get home!”

(Long story short, today I got to “sell” a little boy the best rocket ship ever, and they’ll be in with a truck to get it. Every once in a while, this job is great.)

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