Category: Family & Kids

Saved From A Long Hairy Situation

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am a male, with very long hair, and am admittedly slightly feminine looking. A woman and her young daughter come up to the counter.)

Woman: “All right, sweetie, give the nice man the money.”

Little Girl: *confused* “But mommy, it’s a girl!”

Woman: *clearly embarrassed* “No, sweetie, it’s a boy; he just has long hair.”

Little Girl: *becoming distraught* “NO! It’s a GIRL! GIRL! GIRL! GIRL!”

(The child begins to bawl loudly, still screaming the word ‘girl’ over and over again while the mother continues to try and correct her.)

Me: *in defeat* “It’s okay… I’ll be a girl.”

(The little girl calmed down and they finally finished the transaction!)

Zip In And Zit Out

| KS, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I’m in the office when a woman and her two children, a boy and girl, come in. The girl is here for a background check so she can work at a local grocer. The woman and her son take a seat in the small waiting area, which is pretty much in front of my desk. As I begin typing the information, I overhear this.)

Woman: “Honey, what’s that on your nose?”

Son: “I dunno, a bump?”

Woman: “It’s a zit! Here, let me squeeze it.”

Son: “What! No, the last time you did, blood came out!”

Woman: “Just hold still. Let me pop it.”

(At this point, I’m typing frantically, not wanting them to stay here any longer than they have to. The girl acts nonchalant about the whole thing, pretty much ignoring them.)

Son: “But it hurts! And what if pus comes out?”

Woman: “It ain’t gonna hurt you; it’s just yellow stuff. Now, hold still…”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a bathroom right up the stairs behind you.”

Woman: “Oh, thanks, honey!”

(I handed the girl her paperwork, and they headed upstairs to the bathroom. It’s a one-person bathroom, but all three fit in at the same time. However, they decided to keep the door open so the WHOLE BUILDING heard their dialogue on popping the boy’s zit. When they left, I saw the boy with a huge crater on his nose and pus leaking out. This was probably the grossest thing I’ve ever had to witness!)

Understood The Concept Swimmingly

| MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(We are at the fabric store waiting to have yardage cut. There are two people working the cutting counter, one is a trans-female. My seven-year-old son is with me.)

Son: “Mom! That lady is a MAN!”

Me: *dying inside* “Oh, my gosh; I am so sorry, ma’am. He… I… I am just so sorry!”

Employee: *to my son* “It’s okay, buddy. I was born a boy, but now I am a girl.”

Son: “You can do that?! Mom! I’m gonna be a shark!”

(Thank you so much, fabric store lady, for not being too offended!)

‘Surprise’-ingly Good Parenting

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(Our store is known for our “surprise bags”, where, for a few bucks, you get six randomly chosen accessories that are gathered from the old stock sent back to corporate. To keep the element of surprise, the bags are colored blue and not very opaque, which means that a lot of curious customers will tear open the bags to see what’s inside. I come around the corner and I see a young girl pull a long thin hair clip out of the bag where it had been against the plastic and uses it to try to wedge the bag open. If they’re really young kids, we usually just tell them that they can’t do that and deal with the bag, but this girl looks to be about ten and should know better.)

Me: “Excuse me, you can’t open that.”

Girl: *startled that she had been caught* “I didn’t open it.”

(What I didn’t notice this that at the same time I caught the girl, so did her mother.)

Mother: *to daughter* “What are you doing?!”

Girl: “Nothing.”

Me: “Your daughter was opening one of the surprise bags.”

Girl: “No, I wasn’t!”

Mother: *to me* “Oh, I know. I saw her do it.”

Girl: “I wasn’t opening it!”

Mother: “Then what were you doing?”

Girl: “…”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Our policy is that we can’t force you to buy it. But, unfortunately I’m going to have to take the bag and put it in our damaged products bins.”

Mother: “Oh, no! She opened it; she’s buying it!”

(The mother grabbed her daughter by the arm and marched her over to the register where she made her daughter use her allowance money to buy the opened surprise bag. Even as they were leaving the store I still heard the daughter insisting that she didn’t open it.)

Bird Brained, Part 11

| USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I have just bought four cups of nectar to feed the rainbow lorikeets at the zoo. After finding a somewhat calm place to stand, I make no indication I notice the birds and am soon covered in them. The birds are only going towards the adults and older (quieter) kids. The younger kids start coming over to me trying to get birds to jump onto them and drink out of their cups.)

Kid: “You’ve got so many birds! I want one!”

Me: “Here, just stand next to me and don’t move. They’ll come right over!”

(He stands next to me but squeals every time a bird comes near him and scares it away. Then his mom comes over.)

Mom: “Oh, wow! You have so many birds with you! Can you pass one to my son?”

Me: “I’ll try, but the birds don’t like noise. If he can stand still and quiet they’ll land on him.”

(I try to pass a bird to the kids hand but it jumps back to mine.)

Mom: “Stop hogging all the birds! This is really unfair to the kids!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just been standing here. The birds are coming to me.”

Mom: “So you should be passing them to the kids, then! This is a zoo! This is a place for CHILDREN, not immature adults!”

Me: “You’re being very rude. I’ve already tried passing the birds off but it’s not my fault if they don’t want to sit with them. The zoo is a place for anyone to enjoy, not just kids.”

(She doesn’t respond but starts trying to grab birds off of me or shoo them away. One of them starts squawking and bites her.)

Mom: “Ugh! This zoo is atrocious! How dare they have such untrained, disgusting animals allowed to hurt people!”

(She stormed off to complain to a zookeeper.)

Related:
Bird Brained, Part 10
Bird Brained, Part 9
Bird Brained, Part 8