Category: Family & Kids

A Dashing Hero

| ME, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I worked at a Chinese restaurant where many people would dine and dash on the owner, who they knew couldn’t catch them due to having bad arthritis in both hands. This happens one day when I have just come into work.)

Old Lady: *comes in with her granddaughter and granddaughter’s best friend*

Me: “Just three, miss?”

Old Lady: “Yes.”

Me: *takes them to a table* “Anything to drink while you decide what you would like?”

Old Lady: “Pepsi.”

Granddaughter: “Sprite.” *giggling*

Me: “We have Sierra Mist. Is that all right?”

Granddaughter: “Yes!” *laughs*

Me: “…and you, miss?”

Granddaughter’s Best Friend: “I’ll have the same.” *smiling in an odd way*

Me: *nods and gets their drinks*

(They take another 10 minutes whispering before they ordered. They take a half hour ordering food which costs over $100.00. By now I’m suspicious.)

Me: *comes out of the other dining area in time to see them leaving without paying* “HEY!”

Granddaughter: *laughing and running*

Me: *grabs her by the upper arm* “Oh, H***, no! You will NOT dine and dash on MY shift, LADY!”

Old Lady: *comes in and hits me with her bag* “LET HER GO, YOU B****.”

Granddaughter: “OWWW! YOU’RE HURTING MEEE!”

Me: “I’m only squeezing enough to hold you! Now, lady! If you don’t stop hitting me, I will call the police!”

(An officer just happens to come in and I know him.)

Officer: “[My Name], are you having trouble?”

Me: “Can I do it just once?”

Old Lady & Granddaughter: *both pale and stop what they were doing*

Officer: *laughs* “Yes.”

Me: *I grab both women and yank them outside where I swing the granddaughter out, and release the old lady* “Your choice.”

(The old lady gave me the money for the bill, and a tip! The officer was laughing and my boss gave me a gift certificate for a free meal for my entire family!)

Popped Her Ballooning Fantasy

, | NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(My sister and I are doing balloons at a local festival. We are selling the balloons for one to two  dollars – pretty cheap compared to most other balloon artists when charging per balloon. Because it’s rainy, we haven’t had many customers. A woman and her daughter walk up to my sister when we have no line.)

My Sister: “Hi! Would you like a balloon?”

Woman: “Yes, she’d like— Oh! It costs money?”

My Sister: “Yes, it does.”

Woman: “Oh… sorry, sweetie, we can’t have any.”

(At hearing this, the daughter bursts out crying. The woman tries to console her.)

Woman: “It’s okay; we’ll go do something else.”

(Instead of going to do something else, the woman hangs around my sister, glancing at her hopefully now and then, obviously hoping she will get a free one. My lovely sister, who’s very stubborn, is not budging. Eventually, the woman’s hopeful glances turn into full out glares, as the child continues to cry and make a scene. Finally, as another man walks up:)

Woman: “All right, well, let’s leave- Oh! Sir, is there any possible way you could give me a dollar?”

Caller: “Oh… uh, yeah, I guess.”

(He handed her the dollar, and so the woman got her suddenly all-smiles daughter a balloon. After my sister handed it to her, she, of course, didn’t even say thank you.)

Incorrectly Prospecting Your Lack Of Prospects

, | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, School

(I work in a fast food restaurant to earn some extra money while at university; I work at a branch quite far from my university in a popular shopping area so no one in my class knows. Most of the other people in my class are fairly well off and I don’t really fit in. I have colourful hair and three facial piercings. One day a girl from my class comes in with her mother and she notices me but doesn’t say anything as the mother steers her towards my station.)

Mother: “I’ve told you time and time again that you have to stay in education. You can’t just quit university because you’d rather spend time with your boyfriend.”

Me: “May I take your order?”

(The mother places order for them both and as I walk to fill the drinks I hear her say to her daughter.)

Mother: “If you drop out of university you’ll end up like that girl there, all filth and metal with no career or future prospects.”

Girl: “Actually, mum, she’s in my class and she works harder than most of us. She helps us all with our work if we get stuck and is really nice.”

(The mum was stunned into silence and I pretended not to have heard as I gave them their meal. The next day the girl asked if I wanted to go to a party with her!)

The New Dairy Queen

| Pontotoc, MS, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(When I was 15 years old, a family friend had started an ice cream truck business. He needed someone to drive and someone to hand out ice cream and handle the money: two people per truck, and there were five trucks. Naturally, hunting for money, I volunteer to work the money and ice cream part. It is towards the end of the summer, and I know the ropes by then. Parents often stand on the sidewalk and give the children the money, letting them order. My customer is about five years of age.)

Me: “What can I get for you, sir?”

Customer: *giggling* “I want ice cream.”

Me: “What kind of ice cream?”

Customer: “I can’t tell you that!”

Me: “Then how will you get your ice cream? I am the ice cream queen! I control all of the ice cream in this mighty vessel.”

Customer: “I need to talk to the Ice Cream MAN to get my ice cream, not the Ice cream QUEEN! I need a BOY! I need a BOY!”

(As this was not what I had prepared for, I quickly nodded, and ducked below the counter, and got a marker, drew a mustache, and sat up and spoke in a low voice.)

Me: “Her Majesty is a new worker. What can I get for you?”

Customer: *looking relieved* “Ice cream man! I want….that one!” *points to ice cream on the board*

(And all was well… besides the mustache I had for the next week. Thank you PERMANENT marker, you did your job. Parents, everywhere, tell your children of the Ice Cream Queen. Save a teenage girl’s face from fake facial hair!)

Won’t Take A Back-Seat In These Proceedings

| RI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(My younger sister and I are attending a concert given by a popular holiday rock band in a local city. Five minutes into the concert a woman and man come up to my sister and me.)

Woman: “You’re in our seats.”

Me: “How can that be possible? I had an usher show us to our seats.”

Woman: “I don’t care. You’re in our seats!” *she turns to the man she’s with* “Go get an usher so they can show these children to their proper seats!”

(A few moments later the man returns with an usher.)

Usher: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Woman: “These little girls are in our seats! I want you to escort them to their proper seats! I can’t believe you let unsupervised children into a concert!”

(Before the usher could say anything I interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am a student at a local college and therefore I am not a child. I am 23 years old and more than old enough to act as a legal guardian for my younger sister. I had an usher show my sister to our seats; therefore I do not believe that I am in your seat. I will, however, cooperate with the usher on this matter so we resolve it quickly and enjoy the rest of the show.”

(I hand my ticket to the usher and the woman reluctantly does the same.)

Usher: “Ma’am, these young women are in their proper seats. Your seats are on the other side of the entry way.” *she turns to my sister and me* “I apologize for the confusion and the trouble. Please enjoy the show!”

(When the couple and the usher walked away, the people around me gave me a small round of applause and a ‘you go girl!’)

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