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Category: Family & Kids

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Baby, Don’t Come Back

| Enfield, London, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I am a customer in this story, observing another customer. As I am walking into the shop to order, a young woman with a baby in a pram cuts in front of me and walks up to the counter.)

Woman: *to the server at the counter* “Look at my baby! He’s so cute!”

Server: “Yes! How lovely.”

Woman: “Look at how he’s dressed up! So cute!”

Server: “Aww.”

(The woman continues to talk about how cute her baby is for a minute, oblivious to the fact that I am waiting to order. There is now also another customer in line behind me.)

Server: “Er, did you want to order anything?”

Woman: “Oh, no, I just wanted to show you my baby.” *walks out of shop*

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Children Act Off-The-Cuff

| Iowa City, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(I am working as a cashier at a bookstore when a customer approaches me to pay for her items. Her son is touching everything and messing up all of the nearby display, and doesn’t listen when she tells him to keep his hands to himself.)

Customer: *finally growing frustrated* “Don’t make me put your cuffs on!”

(Her son immediately calms down and starts behaving himself. I think I must have misheard what she said, but I can’t help but notice something round and furry sticking out from her purse. Later, I’m talking with a coworker.)

Coworker: “Did you see that woman earlier who had her kid in fuzzy fetish handcuffs?”

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That Exchange Didn’t Go Down The Toilet

| Abbotsford, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am working at a well known coffee shop in a local mall. Just before closing I am cleaning the bathrooms. One is out of order and I have just soaked the other bathroom with bleach when an older couple and their grandson walk up.)

Grandfather: “He needs to use the bathroom right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but one of our washrooms is out of order at the moment. I’ve just soaked this washroom in bleach but if you give me a couple moments I will have it available for use.”

Grandmother: “NO. He needs to use it right now. It is an emergency.”

Me: “If that is the case there is another set of washrooms just across the food courts that is open.”

Grandmother: “That won’t work. He needs THIS washroom RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I just need a moment to wipe the washroom down. It is covered in chemicals that could burn his skin if I let him use it right now.”

Grandfather: “Enough of this. You are lying to us. You just don’t want to let him use the bathroom!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I’m not lying. I am trying to clean this bathroom and in the time we have spent arguing I could have had the bathroom clean and ready for him to use.”

(At this point the couple and their grandson stormed off and I went about cleaning the washroom. A moment later the same couple came up and I saw the little boy peeing in a coffee cup. Once he was done, the grandfather wordlessly but smugly handed the cup to me. I was so taken aback I just stood there in shock holding a large cup full of this boys pee!)

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Watered Down Justice

| Spokane, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(It is Saturday, so the store is very busy, and the dining room attendant is expected to help take orders when the line gets long. I am helping at the cash register when a large family comes in. The mother has instructed everyone in the family to request water, but I am still required to ask each person what they would like to drink. I have taken all of the kids’ orders, and the mother’s, and have come at last to the father. Our soda fountain is self-serve, and often times people will order water for free, then put soda in their water cups.)

Me: “What would you like, sir?”

Father: “I’d like to have [order].”

Me: “And what would you like to drink?”

Father: “Oh, I’ll take a soda.”

Mother: “Hey! Everyone is getting water. Come on, get a water. Please?”

(The younger children all chime in that he needs to get water, too.)

Oldest Son: “Daaaaad! We’re all going to get ‘special waters!’” *he emphasizes this, clearly indicating they’re going to be putting soda in the water cups*

(The mother and the father both shoot guilty glances in my direction, but the father does agree to order water. I finish their order, and as the line is clear, go back to emptying the bus station and washing tables. I happen to be at the drink station when the family gets their order, and they approach to get their cups.)

Mother: *on seeing me* “Come on, everyone! It looks like we really are drinking water!”

(She filled all their cups with water. It’s nice to see justice happen, sometimes.)

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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 22

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(When I was twelve years old, I was about 5’2” or 5’3” – about 155 or 160 cm for you non-Americans. Not the tallest girl in my class, but taller than average for my age. One day, my mother takes me and my younger sister shopping. While she is in the fitting room with my sister, she tells me to wait just outside the door. Bored, and seeing that a display table of shirts is a stirred up mess, I start folding shirts.)

Customer: “Hey! I’m talking to you!”

(I realize a woman I’d heard and tuned out is looking at me.)

Me: “Me?”

Customer: “Yes, you! Where are your capris?”

Me: “Uh, I… I don’t…”

Customer: “Don’t give me that. I know you sell them! They’re in your flyer.”

Me: “I don’t know.”

(The woman steps into my personal space and raises her voice, berating me about a sale being advertised. I am frozen, wide-eyed, and speechless. A sales associate on the other side of the store starts toward us, but my mom comes out of the fitting room first.)

Mom: “You don’t talk to her like that!”

Customer: “She was being rude to me!”

Mom: “I don’t care! You don’t talk to her like that; you don’t need to talk to her at all!”

Employee: *finally arriving* “Ladies, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you the manager? This girl ignored me and then refused to help me!”

(I am wearing a girly-girl sundress, while the store uniform is a polo shirt and khaki pants.)

Employee: “She doesn’t work here, but I can help you.”

Customer: “But she WAS working!”

Mom: *catching on* “She’s twelve!

Customer: “Then WHY was she FOLDING SHIRTS?!”

Employee: “Just to be nice. Ma’am, what do you need? How can I help you?”

(The employee guided her away from us, while the customer threw a parting shot over her shoulder that I shouldn’t fold shirts if I didn’t work there.)

Mom: *loud enough for her to hear, and earning a dirty look* “Next time a strange adult yells at you, you run away from them and you find me.”

(Later, the employee came back and made a point of thanking me for being helpful – even though I later saw her refolding the shirts more neatly. And for a few years it was a running joke in my family to ask me WHY I was FOLDING the laundry.)

Related:

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 19

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