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Category: Family & Kids

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Toddlers Can Be Terrifying

| USA | Family & Kids

(I work at a pretty popular haunted house in my town, and I’m outside on my break, near the entrance line.)

Customer: “Excuse me; can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Yes, absolutely.”

Customer: “What’s your age limit here?”

Me: “I don’t believe we have a technical age limit, but we don’t recommend anyone under the age of 10 or so.”

Customer: “Well, would it be all right if I brought in my son? He’s ten months old.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am… I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that would be a good idea. The house can be pretty intense, and your son being as young as he is, he would probably cause a fuss and disturb the other walkers and the actors.”

Customer: “But he’s, like, really brave.”

Me: “Believe me, I don’t think it’s a good idea. He’ll be terrified.”

Customer: “Okay, then. Thanks!”

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D’oh!

| FL, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work in a popular chain grocery store bakery as a clerk. One of our items is pre-rolled out pizza dough that is kept in a small cooler that’s in a wall next to the bread and rolls. I usually get questions on how to prep the pizza. This time was a little different…)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “This is pre-rolled out dough?”

Me: “Yup and it comes out to be about this size.” *I gesture with my hands the approximate shape*

Customer: “Oh good! It will be big enough to make cookies with my kids!”

Me: “Um. Ma’am. This is PIZZA dough. You can make PIZZAS with it with your kids.”

Customer: “I can’t make cookies with this?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “But this is dough.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It has yeast in it which makes it dough.”

Customer: “What if I add a lot of sugar; will it be good for cookies then?”

Me: “No. If you want that kind of dough you will have to get it from the dairy section.”

Customer: *clearly still doesn’t believe me* “What if it’s A LOT of sugar?”

Me: “It will still be pizza dough.”

Customer: *in a tone that says that she still doesn’t believe me* “Well, okay then. If you’re sure.” *puts the dough back*

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Wouldn’t Want To Be In Their Shoes

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(It’s a slow day, and I’m the only cashier up at the registers. A frazzled mom comes up to make her purchases with her chatty toddler son in tow. The kid is talking non-stop, pointing out every little thing, and obviously has been doing so for some time. The mother is quickly losing her patience and hardly says a word to me.)

Me: *reaching for a pair of toddler boy shoes to scan* “Hey, bud, are these awesome shoes for you?”

(The little boy nods excitedly and stops mid-sentence to begin chatting about his shoes. The mother cuts in.)

Customer: “Obviously those are for him. Please don’t talk to my son.”

(The rest of the transaction was done in uncomfortable silence, save for the little boy continuing to chat away non-stop. To this day I’m still dumbfounded over her response!)

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On The Edge Of Your Car Seat

| Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(While working in the stock room, I hear a blood-curdling scream from the front of the store. I rush up to the front to find a woman clutching her chest and pointing out the window at a small boy in the parking lot.)

Woman: “I’m so sorry. I just happened to look out the window and saw him run out and almost get hit by a van! Thank goodness it stopped.”

(The woman goes back to looking at merchandise, while a girl slightly older than the boy goes up to him and leads him back to the sidewalk. After a few minutes, the woman sees the children standing by the entrance.)

Woman: “Well, I guess I should head back out there. Those are my sister’s kids. I guess they got out of their car seats!”

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What A Crappy Deal

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money, Popular

(I sell stuff at flea markets. A group of women, some with children in tow come up to me.)

Woman #1: “I’ll give you 5€ for that.”

Me: “No, the lowest I’d go is 15€.”

Woman #1: “But I don’t want to spend more than 5€.”

Me: “Then we won’t have a deal. Maybe you’ll find something similar at another stall for that price.”

(The group moves on and everything seems okay. Sometime later the group passes my stall again.)

Woman #2: “Excuse me, do you maybe have a spare table somewhere? I really need to change my baby and there is no changing room anywhere.”

Me: “I don’t have a table, but I could offer you the bed of my van. It is empty and reasonably clean.”

Woman #2: “Thank you. Don’t worry, I have a changing mat.”

(I opened the van and went back to my stall to give her some privacy. After a little while the woman finished, thanked me, and the group left. When my father went to close the van there was a giant turd on the loading platform, much too big to be the contents of a diaper. Apparently that woman had taken a dump in my van because I didn’t sell something to her friend for the price she wanted.)

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