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Category: Family & Kids

There Were No Children In The Wild West

| Cody, WY, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(My husband and I own one of those photography studios where people dress up in Wild West costumes and get a sepia toned picture taken. Our sitting fee is based on how many people will be in the picture, regardless of their age.)

Me: “Welcome, how many people do you have in your picture today?”

Man: “Five, and one child.”

Me: “So six people?”

Man: “Five and a child.”

Me: “Six people, then. That will be—”

Man: *getting frustrated* “You charge for children?”

Me: “Yes, we charge the same for children and adults, considering we have to costume and pose them just the same.”

Man: “Even if they’re sitting on laps?!”

Me: “Does having a child sit on a lap for a photo make them magically morph into one entity?”

(Anybody who has to ask why a photographer doesn’t charge less for children has clearly never photographed children.)

Teenage Drama

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(Due to a problem with teens destroying merchandise when unsupervised, my store has implemented a curfew which states that after nine pm, no person under 18 may be in the store unaccompanied by a parent or guardian. It’s frequent for children to lie about their age or say their parents are in another part of the store.)

Me: *spotting two obviously underage kids* “Hey, guys, are you both 18?”

Boy: *laughs* “No?”

Me: “Are your parents in the store?”

Girl: “…No?”

Me: “I’m sorry, guys, but we have a curfew and after nine you need to have your parents in the store with you.”

(They leave. About 15 minutes later a coworker spots them:)

Coworker: “Hey, are you 18?”

Boy: “Yeah.”

(I radio my coworker to tell her these are the same kids we just spoke to. She kicks them out again. 10 or so minutes later I’ve moved to the upstairs of the store and I spot the boy again.)

Me: “Hey, come on now; are your parents with you this time?”

Boy: “Yeah, she’s just downstairs.”

Me: “I’m sure. Look I need you to stay WITH your parents; you’ve been kicked out twice already.”

Boy: “What? I need to sit on my mom’s lap?”

Me: “You have to be accompanied by a parent after nine.”

Boy: “She’s right downstairs.”

Mother: *coming up the stairs* “Is there a problem?”

(I try to explain to her about our curfew but the whole time she is shouting over me.)

Mother: “HOW DARE YOU! I don’t understand why anyone would talk to a CHILD like this.”

Me: “I’m sorry if I addressed your son inappropriately, but you see we have a curfew—”

Mother: “YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m calm, but I’m trying to explain to you that we need your children to remain in your supervision at—”

Mother: “GET YOUR MANAGER. NOW!”

(I radio my manager who is covertly standing around the corner the whole time. The customer insists that I was screaming at her kids and that I rolled my eyes at her when she asked for a manager. After she leaves, another customer walks up.)

Other Customer: *to my manager* “I just want to say that she was fine, and that lady was a crazy person.”

Me: “THANK YOU.”

Doctor’s Disorders

| ID, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

Me: “Thank you for calling pediatrics, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, yeah, I saw my doctor today and she recommended I use lotrimin on my daughter’s yeast infection diaper rash but I’m at the store and the bottle says not to use on children under two except under the advice of a doctor. So I’m not sure what to do now…”